Wedding gifts

midgej

Can anyone please advise if Wedding Gift amounts have been hit by the recession? The last wedding I was at was about 2 years ago, and the standard amount given per couple was approx EUR150. Is it still around the same? money is a bit tighter for us now due to just one of us working, so I don't want to go overboard by any means, but don't want to be the stingiest couple at the wedding either!

moving_home

my sister got married on saturday and the average gift per couple was €150 from those attending the full day.

tinkerbell

Weddings should be about guests being there to celebrate with the bride&groom for their special day. It should not be about a price tag on each couple's head. Seriously, times are tough - just give what you can afford. If that is €50, then fine. If they are true friends, then your presence will be present enough for them. If they are giving out about the amount of cash they get, then they were only inviting you for the sake of it anyway and aren't true friends.

CramCycle

moving_home wrote: »

my sister got married on saturday and the average gift per couple was €150 from those attending the full day.

If its 150 for the full day, what is acceptable for just the afters, it's family so I am giving something, I was thinking 100 but I have no idea what is the norm, neither do any of my immediate family. I normally miss family weddings due to work, hence my stupidity, I gave 100sterling at the last one but I have no idea if that was OK as I expected a note of thanks that movies have told me are normally sent out, but didn't get one. I'm not skint but money is tight at the minute, I just want the normal amount so as not to get noticed either way (ie to much or to little.

midgej

moving_home wrote: »

my sister got married on saturday and the average gift per couple was €150 from those attending the full day.

That's perfect, just the info I needed

tinkerbell wrote: »

Weddings should be about guests being there to celebrate with the bride&groom for their special day. It should not be about a price tag on each couple's head. Seriously, times are tough - just give what you can afford. If that is €50, then fine. If they are true friends, then your presence will be present enough for them. If they are giving out about the amount of cash they get, then they were only inviting you for the sake of it anyway and aren't true friends.

Thanks Tinkerbell, that is nice advice - I know they wouldn't think bad of me no matter what I give, and know my financial situation isn't great but I think I'll stay at the average rate of EUR150, we'll scrape it up from somewhere

CramCycle wrote: »

If its 150 for the full day, what is acceptable for just the afters, it's family so I am giving something, I was thinking 100 but I have no idea what is the norm, neither do any of my immediate family. I normally miss family weddings due to work, hence my stupidity, I gave 100sterling at the last one but I have no idea if that was OK as I expected a note of thanks that movies have told me are normally sent out, but didn't get one. I'm not skint but money is tight at the minute, I just want the normal amount so as not to get noticed either way (ie to much or to little.

I think generally that the presents for afters are much less than that, as it really doesn't cost the couple much to have people at the afters - much less compared to the full day where a full meal, wine etc is involved. Most people would give approx EUR50 - 60 per couple if just going to the afters. Unless you want to be extremely generous there is no need to give any more than that.

bubbaloo

CramCycle wrote: »

I gave 100sterling at the last one but I have no idea if that was OK as I expected a note of thanks that movies have told me are normally sent out, but didn't get one.

It doesn't just happen in the movies - you should have received a thank you note - if they didn't send one it's just plain rudeness. Sometimes it can take the couple a while to get around to sending thank-you notes but if it was a while ago, then I think you can take it that they are just rude!!

tinkerbell

midgej wrote: »

Thanks Tinkerbell, that is nice advice - I know they wouldn't think bad of me no matter what I give, and know my financial situation isn't great but I think I'll stay at the average rate of EUR150, we'll scrape it up from somewhere

This kinda thing makes me really sad ... that you have to try and "scrape it up from somewhere". Your friend's wedding shouldn't be about putting a financial burden on you, they are choosing to get married, have a big day, blah blah blah. If you can't afford €150, then don't give it. If giving that amount means you have to go without for a while or really budget for the rest of the month, they you are giving too much. Personally I think €150 is too much these days, €100 is perfectly ok.

lianne10

i love weddings

Bookkeeper09

Anyone have any idea what the norm cash gift from a bridesmaid would be?

RentDayBlues

I hate these questions "what the norm to give"!!!

Surely the sensible answer to everyone of these questions is "what you can afford"!

If all you can afford is €50 then that's what you give, if you can afford more, give more. If the couple really want you there on the day to celebrate with them they won't care if you give nothing, as long as your there with them. Yes, social pressure means you feel you have to give something but it should reflect what you can afford - not what others think is appropriate

moving_home

CramCycle wrote: »

If its 150 for the full day, what is acceptable for just the afters, it's family so I am giving something, I was thinking 100 but I have no idea what is the norm, neither do any of my immediate family. I normally miss family weddings due to work, hence my stupidity, I gave 100sterling at the last one but I have no idea if that was OK as I expected a note of thanks that movies have told me are normally sent out, but didn't get one. I'm not skint but money is tight at the minute, I just want the normal amount so as not to get noticed either way (ie to much or to little.

I would say the average for attending the afters was €50. Some gave more but it was unexpected.

moving_home

Bookkeeper09 wrote: »

Anyone have any idea what the norm cash gift from a bridesmaid would be?

I gave my sister €600 (well am paying for the wedding album). She paid for dress and hair. I paid for make-up and shoes - although the shoes I wore were only €15!!
If I were bridesmaid for anyone other than my sister I would have given less depending on what I could afford at the time but around €400/€500

niceoneted

I never give cash presents to anyone for any occasion. Luxury items all the way.
I have given prize bonds on one or two occasions with a small token gift on the side - when I have been really stuck and genuinely knew the couple had everything.

People either want you there or not - it is there choice if they choose to have a 20 euro a head wedding or 120 euro a head wedding.

Don't over stretch yourself. Go and enjoy the wedding.

CramCycle

I went with a 100, having no idea and hoped for the best.

After the wedding I was dutifully informed by ladies in the know (organisers for a separate wedding the day after), that the accepted rate is 100 for the dinner or 50 for the afters (if you feel you need to give something, but usually people don't give anything for the afters), +50 for a guest if you bring one, but in alot of cases most people would give nothing for the afters and thats fine.

I agree with other posters that you should never give more than your comfortable with, and TBH if it hadn't been pay day just before i would have given nothing, I honestly don't think they would have minded or noticed.