Let her down gently

LegacyUser

I've been going out with a girl from college for about a month, and I've realised I don't really like her, as in I can't see myself with her long term, its just not there...

Unfortunately the other night we sealed the deal...

I realise we all have emotions so I can't leave now, it would make her feel bad,
what should I do? maybe wait a month?

Cheap Thrills!

karatekidsucks wrote: »

I've been going out with a girl from college for about a month, and I've realised I don't really like her, as in I can't see myself with her long term, its just not there...

Unfortunately the other night we sealed the deal...

I realise we all have emotions so I can't leave now, it would make her feel bad,
what should I do? maybe wait a month?

You can leave now and you should.

Whatever you do don't string her along for another month, that's just selfish. She may be hurt but better to get it over with than to drag it out and be false.

The fact you had sex is irrelevant.

dearg lady

If you're not interested, just finish it, don't string her along. If she likes you, she'll feel bad whether you do it now or in a month.

xzanti

karatekidsucks wrote: »

Unfortunately the other night we sealed the deal...

?

Unless you're referring to marriage, you have no obligation to stay with someone you're not into.. you'll probably have many more relationships like this in your life before you meet 'the one'.. Just tell her how you feel, don't drag it out any longer than you need to..

whatsamsn

Op,
Stringing someone along is never advised.
Its always best to be up front. Which means letting her down gently is not the best option.
You're just going to have to let her know whats what. She will get mad, which is natural, but then so be it.



And for your side, if you tell her know, it'll be better than waiting a month.
Shes going to get upset either way. Might as well do it now and be honest... that you are unsure if you want a relationship with her. Which also means you are thowing honesty in the mix

Think of it this way, what are you going to say in a month? You obviously wont say for the last month you didnt want the relationship. You'd lie. Probably giving her the "cliche" line "its me, not you"

So its the best thing to do by telling her now
What you wanna do - tell her now, being honest and cutting the games. Or try and "play nice" and tell her in a month which you'll just end up lying

muboop1

karatekidsucks wrote: »

I've been going out with a girl from college for about a month, and I've realised I don't really like her, as in I can't see myself with her long term, its just not there...

Unfortunately the other night we sealed the deal...

I realise we all have emotions so I can't leave now, it would make her feel bad,
what should I do? maybe wait a month?

Can I ask, did the feelings that you did not want to be with her only appear since the "deed" was done?

I know of a few lads this happened to. They attributed it to extreme sexual lust. They were just attracted to the girl so much they thought they wanted more, but only in the "clarity" after they realised they didn't.

Just end it. Don't expect to be friends with her all of a sudden or anything. Take your lead form her in all this respect. And let her down gently if possible.

The reason I mentioned the above is be careful in future. Best if you try be aware and do not get involved with someone when in reality you "might" only want a one night stand. Just to save their feelings etc

Beyond that, nothing you done was intentional etc so give yourself a break. Go break up with her. It happens!

jurgenscarl

Hi OP.

Reading between the lines I take it you probably haven't had a serious relationship with a girl before.
Going out with a girl for a month and 'sealing the deal' - I presume you mean sex - is not a serious relationship.
You have nothing to feel guilty about.
You met a girl you thought you liked, you had sex with her and you changed your mind about her.
No big deal.
By the time you are finished college you will probably have had a string of girls who you have gone out with and slept with.
Enjoy your life and stop taking things so seriously. You have nothing to feel guilty about.
Sleep with as many women as you possiibly can while you are young and enjoy yourself because eventually you will come across a stunner who you will realise is the real deal.

Take this girl out to dinner or a drink or a movie or a walk in the park and have good chat with her so you can put her down gently.

She'll get over it. No harm done.

Move on as quick as you can find someone else.
Plenty more girls out there.

MrMojoRising

You could always act the pr1ck for a while until she dumps you.

Save you the hassle of it

jurgenscarl

MrMojoRising wrote: »

You could always act the pr1ck for a while until she dumps you.

Save you the hassle of it

Evil but perhaps more effective. That is an option that can't be ruled out.
It might make her feel better if she thinks it was all her idea.

metrovelvet

Yeah. Prolonged gaslighting. Great idea.

S23

Just break up with her. I don't think you're trying to spare her feelings. I think you're trying to avoid looking like an p*ick that breaks up with girls once he sleeps with them.

MrMojoRising

S23 wrote: »

I think you're trying to avoid looking like an p*ick that breaks up with girls once he sleeps with them.

think thats kinda unavoidable at this stage...