Story I'm writing- The Stench

Dublindude69

I just started writing this story, I was wondering if I could get tips and things here. I'll post more as I write it.

The Stench

It's a sunny hot day in the middle of July in Dublin. At the Stillorgan Industrial Estate and there is a Caravan parked illegally at the side of the road. Inside the Caravan we see a man in his early fifties, his name is Gerry Connors, he is sitting at a small table.
A small child, John, runs inside, Gerry turns to the him and yells “What did you get for us son?”
John turns to his father and says “I’m sorry da, I couldn’t nick anything, they where watching me the whole time.”
Gerry raises his right arm and smacks John across the face yelling “You useless little ****er!”
“I’m sorry da, I’m sorry” John wails out.
An older woman, Jackie, storms into the Caravan with two girls, Maggie and Kathleen. Jackie proudly exclaims “Kathleen managed to steal a charity box filled with five hundred euros.”. Kathleen proudly displays the box, there is an image of a crying child on the side of it. Gerry smiles and gets up to give Kathleen a hug. Maggie, feeling jealous shouts out “Well I Distracted the guy while she took it.”.
Jackie holds out a can of beans “I managed to score use some dinner”.
An hour later and the family is sitting around the table eating the beans. The family never wash or use deodorant so the van is a very smelly place. John is in the corner of the van with a plate of dog crap, this is his punishment for not stealing anything. He cries out “Can I please have some beans, I’m sorry I failed to father”. Gerry grabs an empty can and throws it at John, smacking him in the face,
Suddenly there is a loud fart coming from Maggie, then one from Jackie and Gerry also, the farts combine together and create a small green cloud. “What the ****?” Kathleen exclaims.
“Did that come from us?” Gerry asks.
Suddenly there is a knock on the door.
“Open up, this is the gardai” A Voice yells.
“Ah ****!” Jackie yells.
“Want me to bash em da?” John asks.
“No son, not yet” Gerry replies.
The door is opened and a young man enters in a gardai outfit.
“You lot are parked here illegally” The Gardai says.
“**** off” Gerry replies.
“You are on the side of the road and are blocking traffic” The gardai replies.
“And what are you going to do about it you ****ing tosser? Nothing, now **** right off” Gerry replies in a snaky voice.
The gardai is about to say something else when the green cloud rushes at him and goes up his nose and in his mouth. “Oh God, oh God! It stinks worse then anything” The gardai screams out panicking.
“Who are you calling smelly you racist ****er?” Gerry roars out.
Suddenly the guard falls to his knees, he starts to gag and all of a sudden he starts puking up his insides. He falls on his hands, puking up his stomach lining, his organs, everything piles out of him. His screams sound inhuman. Suddenly his skin starts melting off, his eye balls explodes and he falls down dead.
“What the ****?” John asks”
“Who the hell cares, as long as it didn’t happen to me.” Gerry replies.
Suddenly the green cloud comes out of the guards mouth only it’s now bigger.
“Holy crap, it must of killed him.” Maggie exclaims.
“John, smell that thing” Gerry orders.
“God no da” He replies, scared.
“Smell it or I will beat you into next week” Gerry replies. But before John can move the Stench goes out the door.
“You can eat that if you are still hungry” Gerry says pointing at the dead guards.
Outside the Caravan we see the Gardai car parked outside and a younger trainee Gardai Tom sitting in it bored. Tom is typing out a text message and drinking out of a cup of coffee at the same time. We see the Caravan is parked badly and is blocking up a lane of traffic, there is lots of beeping. Tom looks up at the Caravan and sees The Stench coming out the front door. “Holy What The ****?” Tom yells out as it floats towards him. Quickly he rolls up all the windows as The Stench hit’s the windshield.
Tom pulls out the radio “Anyone listening, I got a crazy fog like thing here out side the Caravan parked on the Stillorgan Industrial Estate.” He is met with silence. The Stench starts to creep around the side of his car and starts vanishing into it.
“What the **** is going on?” Tom cries out scared. Inside the car The Stench starts to come in through the small cracks and air conditioner.
“No! No! Please god no!” Tom cries but before long The Stench vanishes up his nose.
“The Smell! Oh ****ing cock God the smell” He screams out. He starts to gag and then he vomits up all his insides, like before everything comes up, blood splatters across the car windows. Toms eyes explodes his skins melts off and then The Stench leaves his body, bigger then ever now.
Gerry walks out of the Caravan followed by John, who is now eating an intestine.
“Holy Mother, it’s getting bigger and we are immune somehow” Gerry says.
“What you yapping about?” John asks but he is answered with a punch across the face.
The Stench leaves the car, it’s about eight feet in mass now. It starts to head towards to road and the busy traffic.
Susan, a twenty five year old woman on her way back from work with her baby in the back seat, The back window was open. She drove while listening to music and singing along. Behind her she hears an odd noise and turns around, the sight she sees turns her stomach. Her baby is now skinless, no eyes and a pile of it’s insides are splattered all over the floor. Susan screams in terror as the baby explodes and The Stench is in it’s place. Chunks of the baby splatter into Susans eyes, blinding her. The Stench goes into her mouth, everything is to much, she loses control of the car and serves into the other lane, crashing into another car head on.