relationship advice please

LegacyUser

i am looking for advice...i just dont know what to do and feel i cant talk to anyone. i am in a very long term relationship and we have two children together. i am pregnangt with our third baby(unplanned). we dont have alot of money and times are hard...this i can live with. what i am finding increasingly hard to live with is my oter half as he can be so cruel and unloving. he is a great father and genuinly enjoys his children and know he will be brilliant wiht the new baby too. however he constantly outs me down, even infront of the kids he can call me stupid or complain about the dinner in front of him. he can act like a child, tutting and giving out if he is served something not to is liking.
he constantly gives out about the state of the house and how i am basicly useless. now that i am pregnant again its gotten even worse. i have been so so sick i can barely look after the kids adn the house has gone worse ( i never was the best housekeeper anyway).
he seems so unhappy with me, i try my best, regarding the children, the house everything and sometimes get nervous when there is something that ihave done that will cause hassle and abuse from him.
othertimes we get on great, we can have such fun together and laugh alot. it seems to me to depend on him though. if he comes in annoyed that sets the tone for the eve, weekend or even week.
i am by no means perfect, i'd say i am hard to live with myself but i really try to be the best mother and partner i can. we have been to couples consilling four years ago and it helped. however the bad times seem to outweigh the good and im finding it encreasingly hard to wipe the tears away and keep going.
i feel so trapped and although i have good freinds and family i dont want to talk to them about this. i have seen first hand the sadness that can arise from parents spilting up and dont want that, for myself or my children. he has said to me before that times are hard and thats why we argue so much. i know he feels enourmous pressure moneywise and he works like a dog to bring in any extra cash and enjoys treating the kids to a new toy when he has a few spare euros. maybe the pregnancy is making me extra hormonal and tearful, but the thought of bringing another person into this senario makes me feel guilty and upset.
i know no realtionship is perfect and behind closed doors people are different but i cant beleive ours is functional. the reality and pressures and responsibilties of having a job, children running a house etc can be huge but surely i should be happier then this...

He doesn't abuse you as in hit you?

Regarding the dinner on the table, if he doesn't like it, tell him to make himself some.

Alot of parents men and female judge each others daily work load. Maybe when the baby is born and things have calmed down why not switch jobs for a week. It normally opens both parents eyes to how difficult the other job is.

Ask him does he want to do it.

See if he can manage keeping the whole house clean, feed the children and the new baby, change the nappies, make sure dinner is on the table for you when you get home, do all the daily jobs you would do, i.e posting letters, going to the shop to get food etc etc.

Also, regarding that split ups make children unhappy.

Yes it can have an effect on them, but if its handled the correct way then they will be grand. i.e. making sure both of you get to see them on a weekly basis and both of you remain friendly in front of them things should be alright.

LegacyUser

our relationship has always consisted of arguments ( for more then 10 years) in this time i am ashamed to say there has been physical force used by both of us, more of a slamming doors, grabbing, pushing and shoving type when an argument gets extremly heated but its from two sides. he dosnt phsically abuse me. although re reading this sentence is very sobering.
he already does his fair share of housework and as stated before works like a dog and still does stuff with the kids. and for whatever reason whenever he is left to do the house thing for a day he does it extremly well and the kids are delighted with life on my return.
i just wonder what happened to the couple we were, life got in the way and with it money/mortgage/stress. it makes me so sad even though there is plenty in my life i am grateful for-my job, my beautiful children and the fact we are lucky enough to have a home etc.
some times i feel it is me that makes things toxic as i can be selfish/distracted and lazy....
however then i wonder what kind of man can put the mother of his children down infront of his kids. i even think he is thwarting their perspectives of what a relationship should be like.
im not even looking forward to having this baby ( i feel so guilty) as i know it will make me feel even more trapped and increase the stress.

Well first, don't blame the baby that is on the way, very hard for that child to grow up knowing it was the reason for all the hassle.

Sit down with him and talk things over with him. If you are worried on how he will react then go to someone who is trained to deal with these kind of things. Go on your own the 1st time, then ask him would he want to go as well together.

It helps a lot when people get things of there chest. Like being stressful or tired.