concerned

LegacyUser

I am worried about my son, he is 22 he dropped out of college mainly because he didn't work for his leaving and didn't get the course he wanted. He has found it hard to get any regular work and at the moment is working two days a week in a garage, his long term girlfriend broke it off with him recently and he has been very down he seem to lack motivation to do anything.

Then about 6 weeks ago he started to go to the gym and go running i was pleased for him as it was the first time in a long time he was interested in anything. Today i found out by accident that he intended to join the french foreign legion in September and that is the reason he is geting fit. He has asked me not to say anything to anyone. He dose not have a close relationship with his dad and i cant talk to anyone about this as i promised i wouldn't tell anyone. He feels he has no future here.

I am very concerned about what he want to do but on the other had i cant stop him at his age.

LegacyUser

although you are concerned about his choice, he obviously feels it is the right thing for him to do if he is so unhappy here. you said he lacked motivation and sounds depressed. this has given him focus and energy again.

Cian92

Don't worry too much. Your son is growing up and taking control of his life. You should be proud of him, he has realised it would be better for him to join the French legion.

Try not to be upset about it and be happy for him. It will be hard to see him go, but don't worry he will come back and visit. Make sure to discuss your concerns and his concerns with each other.

S23

Cian92 wrote: »

Don't worry too much. Your son is growing up and taking control of his life. You should be proud of him, he has realised it would be better for him to join the French legion.

Try not to be upset about it and be happy for him. It will be hard to see him go, but don't worry he will come back and visit. Make sure to discuss your concerns and his concerns with each other.

The lad has taken a positive step to take charge of his life and its his decision to make. However, his mother is allowed be concerned as the Legion is a hard life and it will take her son away from her for a long time.

Lets assume he makes it. He has to sign a 5 year contract with the legion to be at their disposal whenever needed. The theory is you get 15 days holidays the first year and it rises by 10 days a year thereafter. However, you don't get to pick and choose when you take them (the leave days are designated in blocks that you have no choice over) and they don't have to release you for all your days.

They can keep you wherever they like if you are deemed to be needed. And you can't leave French territory without applying for special permission. You need to apply be rectified (apply to use your own identity) after the first year to get released for overseas leave.

A friend of mine in the FFL had problems getting off. They didn't release him anywhere near his allotted amount of days each year. They didn't let him go home the first year (as standard) but refused to rectify him in his 2nd year so he couldn't go home until his 3rd year in the legion which was 32 months (including the training period) after he signed in

Also there is the financial burden of getting home from wherever he is stationed if and when they do let him. Pay for a standard legionnaire is about €900 a month and they tend to piss through it. So paying for a 2 week trip back home when you're broke (and broken down to conform to the FFL) isn't always feasible.

If the kid really knows what he's getting into then he should go for it. However, I'll take a wild guess that he doesn't. And once he's in he's not getting out inside of 5 years. He can't just decide he doesn't fancy it anymore. I won't even get into what would happen if he deserted.

Does he realise he needs to ask permission to own certain personal belongings like mobile phones and computers.

It will be brutal and it will change him forever. The lad that went away to the FFL that we knew never came back. He knows that himself. He knows hes not the same and its not for the better in this case.

Speak to him and make sure he is sure because if he goes ahead and makes it in it will be a decision of massive proportions.

I'm all for getting motivated and taking charge of your life but joining the FFL because he's found it hard to get work and his girlfriend dumped him seems very reactionary.

Nemanja91

You should be proud of your son, he will be representing your family and our country and will be doing good in the world, I know it will be very hard for you as it is a long time away from him but he is taking the initiative in his life, he will learn slot of skills which could help in the future with other jobs. When I was 18 I wanted to join the French foreign legion and my dad would have let me go as he is in the army and know what it entails whereas my mam wouldn't let me, I'm know in college and if I was given the chance in the morning I still think I would join it's a once in a lifetime experience, you could talk to your son about waiting for recruitment to start again and join the Irish army or possibly join the British army.