22 too young

LegacyUser

Hi just need quick opinions on this. Basically I have turned 26 and have major chemistry with a 22 yr old. Feel slightly embarassed to let things happen. Havin known him since he was 13 . So little weirded bout these feelings. He also dated a friend which I know is a big no no. But always been close friends throughout it all. For some reason these feelings only have started to appear now

dan_d

I have several friends who are 28 and in relationships with 24/25 yr olds...mind you the girls are the younger members in the relationships.They're fairly long term, in that they've been going out 2-3 yrs.

I don't know OP, if it feels okay to you then I don't see any problems. My only question would be the maturity levels of himself....you know what 22 yr olds can be like! But if you're okay with it, then I don't see why not.

boarduser1980

when i was 26 i went out with a 22yr old guy for 3 months, it didnt work out because he was very immature, went on very silly and childish (he was a nice bloke though). i got a lot of smart remarks from some ppl inc. his sisters but i didnt let that bother me, but it ran its course when i realised for myself that we werent going anywhere he was too young for me. But then thats not to say your 22 yr old friend is immature for his age, it all depends on the individual
Maybe no harm in giving it a shot, it works for some and not others. OR maybe your better off just staying good friends with him, cos if it doesnt work out you dont want to loose a good friendship

WindSock

Once you are in your 20's and beyond, a 4 year age gap isn't that much of a difference.

Pigeon Reaper

My Wife is a few years older than I am. Don't worry about age it's maturity and personality that matter. The other issue with the friend shouldn't be a cause of problems either once the relationship ended on a good note.

redhed35

i knew my neighbour for years,we were both single and never ever thought about him in a romantic sense,untill one day i saw him with his shirt off!

i nearly passed out,hot! is mild for what i felt.

we have been together for 1 and half years now and its the best relationship i have ever had.

dont worry about the age differance,dont worry how things will pan out,take your time getting to know each other in a romantic way,its differant then just friends,but it can be so much more for it,because you have known each other before as friends.

AnonoBoy

The 'dated a friend' thing is more of an issue than the age thing.

fungun

divide your age by 2 and add 7.

At age 26 you are ok to date anyone 20+

LegacyUser

Thanks for reply the friend thing is puttin me off we all hang out together etc same grooup of friends. Not sure of my friend would feel. Do u think u should tell her before amythin happens

Dudess

fungun wrote: »

divide your age by 2 and add 7.

At age 26 you are ok to date anyone 20+

Oh come on, that "rule" isn't serious.

OP, it's nothing - just give it a shot if you're really into him.

leinsterrugby

go on u cougar

VinnyTGM

4 years is nothing, go for it op, it could turn out to be a great relationship, if not I'm sure you will end up the way you were before, as friends.

seanmacc

When I was 21 I started going out with a girl who was 28. We had fantastic sex and had a great laugh going out socialising every night we could. Where we ran into problems is that she was in an entrely different stage in her life. The relationship wasn't ever going to progress further than us shagging all day and getting pissed at night. For example she'd never introduce me to her parents or friends as her boyfriend. She was at the stage where she was thinking of settling down and must not of seen me as a safe bet and thus we broke up (apart from an odd drunken renez vous when we accidentally bumped into each other in town) Although I did protest her opinion when she broke it off I was getting nowhere, the age thing was too big in her mind in the sense she was so hung up on what her family and friends would think.

Incidentally I'm now 28, married 4 years and have a 3 year old son. She still goes out every other night trying to find the mature man to settle down with she couldn't see in me. She's 35 now.

Moral of the story is if either of you have hang ups of what other people are going to think you will have problems. Your age is just a number at the end of the day. If people close to you snigger at the thought of you together because of your age, F**k them. Its your life and this person makes you happy

Sound Bite

Normally I'd say go for it, age is just a number and maturity levels differ from preson to person, but in this case, be prepared for the possibility of loosing a friend if she previously dated him.

fungun

Dudess wrote: »

Oh come on, that "rule" isn't serious.

OP, it's nothing - just give it a shot if you're really into him.

i know its not "serious" but actually its not a bad guideline

WindSock

Dangerousliasons wrote: »

Thanks for reply the friend thing is puttin me off we all hang out together etc same grooup of friends. Not sure of my friend would feel. Do u think u should tell her before amythin happens

It depends how close a friend you are and how serious their relationship was.

GiftofGab

I'm 24 and I'm dating at 27 year old girl. I never even occured to me that it was any bit weird.

LegacyUser

Heres my 2c on this. The other way around .ie guy older there isnt much of an issue. But if when people get together there is a stand out issue, it is usually the one that will result in the downfall of the relationshiop. There are enough guys your own age out there. There is a big difference IMHO between a 22 and 26 year old. Best of luck with whatever decision you make though. Then again I let logic not my heart guide decisions I make.

Dudess

GiftofGab wrote: »

I'm 24 and I'm dating at 27 year old girl. I never even occured to me that it was any bit weird.

It isn't weird at all - it's just that, unfortunately, some people are conditioned to think it is, e.g. this person:

Unreg1 wrote: »

The other way around .ie guy older there isnt much of an issue. But if when people get together there is a stand out issue, it is usually the one that will result in the downfall of the relationshiop. There are enough guys your own age out there. There is a big difference IMHO between a 22 and 26 year old.

metamorphosis

I was seeing someone very briefly who was 5 years older (im 22) and it was never really weird or an issue at all tbh

unreggd

Depends on the people

I'm 22, but I'm a lot more mature than some people I know over 25

LegacyUser

For what it's worth, I'm also 26, and have friends spanning in age from 22 to 38, a lot of the lads in the 22-24 age group seem to be the go out get pissed, live in a pig sty student house and have the laugh kind, all good fun, but I also wouldnt want this type of person as a boyfriend at this stage in my life.
I've mostly been out with men older than myself, my most recent ex is 32 and the one before him just turned 30... I've been seeing a 23 year old for the last while, and judging off his own peers and my previous partners, this one's completely different, he seems to be the first proper adult I've met of the lot of them!
I spotted this thread with a bit of interest cos of it's relevance to myself, and I understand your concerns OP, but if my exerience is anything to go by I can say it really depends on the individuals concerned really, if this person suits you, then the old saying goes "age is noting but mind over matter, if you dont mind, it doesnt matter!" and right now I have to say I really dont mind anyway, happy out!
As far as the dating the friend thing goes...I've been there too, and I'd say go for it, it's a different kind of experience alright, as long as ye can both recognise when its time to end things to save the friendship if the needs be! The 32 year old fits that category, and we are back to being the best of friends again. Best of luck with it anyway!

The Corinthian

Dangerousliasons wrote: »

Hi just need quick opinions on this. Basically I have turned 26 and have major chemistry with a 22 yr old. Feel slightly embarassed to let things happen. Havin known him since he was 13 . So little weirded bout these feelings. He also dated a friend which I know is a big no no. But always been close friends throughout it all. For some reason these feelings only have started to appear now

Two things spring to mind. Firstly, you're at an age now when you are likely to start getting into relationships that ten years ago you would have thought creepy or even illegal because of the age difference. It's a mental block that is normal to have, and we all eventually have to overcome it. In my case it was in my mid twenties and dating a girl five years younger - the age gap was an issue, but so was the fact that she was a few months younger than my 'baby' sister. That she'd been on the cover of Image magazine helped with the transition though...

The second factor is that it is still, although far less than once, less acceptable for an older women to be with a younger man and this too may be a factor. Imagine you're 22 and he's 26 for a moment - it might feel slightly more acceptable, no? If so, you'll need to get past this also - the rest of the World pretty much has.

fungun wrote: »

i know its not "serious" but actually its not a bad guideline

I'd tend to agree that it's not a bad rule of thumb, TBH. Given this I may change my mind in another ten years or so

Seraphina

Hiya! I'm 26 in September and my current boyfriend is 22. Funnily enough, like the poster a bit above me, he's one of the most mature men I've been out with (ranging from my age to 10 years older!) and we're planning on moving in together soon. For me, initially there were some jokes about 'having a toyboy', which I still like to make but realistically, he's a fantastic guy, and we simply 'work' together, irrespective of age.

At the end of the day, it's just a number, but this doubt will only fuel something worse. Despite the joke, there was never any question about whether or not age would be an issue for me and my boyfriend, but if you're unsure it will undermine other aspects of your relationship.