Annoying things annoying people do!?!

Deus Ex Machina

I realise this is a pointless exercise which is going to achieve nothing, other than evoking a couple of angry comments and some banal jibes, but I am doing it anyway. I was cursed at birth in that I was born hyper sensitive to people's annoying idiosyncrasies. I am, however, a mild mannered individual, so more often than not my response to the astonishingly profound sense of annoyance I feel is to sit perfectly still as each of the four humours of my body boil like a thimble of water at the bottom of a kettle. This stuff:

-Quote people. It doesn't really matter whose words they are, when you quote somebody you are doing nothing more than recycling their wisdom. It may be the case that the quotation is of some use, and in that instance my piss remains at 37 centigrade. However when somebody looks aloft, adopts a solemn countenance, and speaks the words as if they're imparting a great lesson, the temperature of my piss rises above 100 degrees. The effect is similar when I read quotes on people's Facebook pages. If you lived by the virtues which the quotations expound then I would be more sympathetic toward your insistence upon adorning your otherwise pig ignorant page with the words of Marx, Nietzsche and Ayn Rand. Blogs are the worst, usually somebody who inwardly believes themselves to be the next Richard Feynman despite lacking any distinct ability in any field of endeavour, sees fit to assault you with the grandiose musings of some obscure physicist, the more obscure, the more intelligent the blogger must be because his interests are so abstruse.

-Attractive girls. If a member of the Masc. gender were to flaunt their physical beauty with the level of ostentation commonplace among girls, they would be scorned, but instead, because of the torturous nature of the human condition, girls get away with it, as Masc. are often too enamoured with the fem.'s suitability for reproduction that they usually fail to recognise the bone shattering, scalp tearing, organ distending annoyance associated with the deep seated arrogance required for such a show of physical condition to take place. Dress tastefully, fashionably, don't show me your body, I really don't care, actually wear a masque too.

-Complaining about the effects of alcohol consumption/ talking about drinking incessantly: I sometimes feel as if I am living in a dictorship, except instead of a despotic madman like Hitler, we are ruled by "drink". Perhaps I was born without the particular gene it is which governs alcohol appreciation, but I don't see why so many people attach such significance to the imbibitions of this vile liquids. It seems that above all else, those few hours spent suckling the vessels for their alcoholic contents after the sun has set is held in higher esteem than any other action which adults ages 18 to 32 engage in. Not since the rising of Christ has so much tinsel been attached to such a non event. Accounts of drinking pervade social networks, be they real or virtual, as each moment between weekend drinking is nothing more than a sort of purgatory where what has passed is discussed and the future is yearned for. Complaining about the effects of drinking is so absurd I will neglect to comment on it beyond stating that it is almost a badge of honour, done as if to prove one's devotion to the noble fluid.

-Football. Snobbery aside, my contempt for the sport of football runs deep. When I say football I refer, of course, to the premiership. Never before has the absurdity of existence been more explicitly stated than it is each year by this utterly monotonous campaign. Unlike many, I won't complain about the salaries, as these are the natural product of market forces as seem quite reasonable from this perspective. I will, however, complain about the abject emptiness I feel on the rare occasions when I listen to post match comments. Everything is directed towards some future goal, maybe winning, maybe doing better. Each year basically the same situation is repeated with slightly different results, yet each year the fervour abates none. This is, of course, the same of all sports, the difference with the premiership is the vast audience which it manages to reach. Every time I think of this I am forced to wonder if Sisyphus wasn't watched by hundreds of thousands each time he pushed the boulder to the top of his hill.

-People like me. They distance themselves from actual challenges, instead content to live in an unchallenged bliss, their inflated opinion deftly manoeuvred away from any sharp objects such as quantifiable efforts where one's merit could be made more tangible and therefore compared to that of others. They place themselves in the pantheon of the greats, their records as unblemished as the mightiest for their lack of trying. On the rare occasions when their lack of ability of skill is exposed, scarcely will you encounter a more unpleasant sight, as the individual concerned will clutch at any straw in order to save face, and clutch at any insult in order to scar another’s.

Canard

Eat loudly.

Hank_Jones

Fart in my presence.

I don't want to smell your farts, regardless of how funny you think it is...they smell like shit...

Duff

Spit in public. Disgusting.

Dilynnio

People who use the same knife in the jam that they used spreading the butter.....i know I have said this before!

gogo

tl:dr.
Summarising from the title -post really long posts.

stupidusername

Ok, I've changed my mind about Irish Guitarist, I want to marry you OP

or maybe I could have both...?

veryangryman

Deus Ex Machina wrote: »

Quote people.

Apologies in advance for the irony of quoting you but...

Deus Ex Machina wrote: »

It doesn't really matter whose words they are, when you quote somebody you are doing nothing more than recycling their wisdom. It may be the case that the quotation is of some use, and in that instance my piss remains at 37 centigrade. However when somebody looks aloft, adopts a solemn countenance, and speaks the words as if they're imparting a great lesson, the temperature of my piss rises above 100 degrees. The effect is similar when I read quotes on people's Facebook pages. If you lived by the virtues which the quotations expound then I would be more sympathetic toward your insistence upon adorning your otherwise pig ignorant page with the words of Marx, Nietzsche and Ayn Rand. Blogs are the worst, usually somebody who inwardly believes themselves to be the next Richard Feynman despite lacking any distinct ability in any field of endeavour, sees fit to assault you with the grandiose musings of some obscure physicist, the more obscure, the more intelligent the blogger must be because his interests are so abstruse.

Screw you - Im actually going to quote double just for that meandering comment. I don't consider myself the wittiest individual around and will gladly hop on the pigsback of someone elses wisdom.

To quote a great man...

"Don't let your mouth write cheques that your ass can't cash"

MJ23

People who put the empty carton of milk back in the fridge
People who make lots of noise when they eat
Girls who think they're fat, when they clearly are not, but simply fishing for a compliment
Farmers standing around clogging up bar space letting Guinness farts, when there are lots of seats,"sure only wimmin sit down lad"

InTheTrees

Patchy~ wrote: »

Eat loudly.

Yup. And eating loudly and not caring.

Cullen82

There's a guy I know who's been seeing a girl for the past few months - good for him, no big deal eh?

But he's driving me right around the bend and back again talking about her. It's not so much that he's talking about her that annoys me, it's the way he does it. Absolutely any opportunity he can think of to say the words "my girlfriend", well he takes it.

Me and my girlfriend this, Me and my girlfriend that, my girlfriend said this to me........CRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINGE

It's seriously driving me mad at this stage, I see him on a daily basis.

He was showing me her picture on Facebook this morning, I can't tell you how tempted I was to tell him I'd slept with her before just to shut him up.



I had'nt slept with her of course!

Silly Sausage

Try and have sex with you despite them having a husband and kids. I can never understand that.

bazmaiden

Not giving cliffs at the end of a long post, just rude

InTheTrees

Deus Ex Machina wrote: »

-Attractive girls. don't show me your body, I really don't care, actually wear a masque too.

I'm not quite with you on this one...

Detour

It's annoying when people refer to themselves with words like 'kooky','crazy' or 'random'.

stupidusername

Silly Sausage wrote: »

Try and have sex with you despite them having a husband and kids. I can never understand that.

mmm. me too. well obviously the other way round...

Hank_Jones

Silly Sausage wrote: »

Try and have sex with you despite them having a husband and kids. I can never understand that.

They probably aren't happy in their relationships.

That, or you are just really hot.







*wonders if poster is male or female*

Silly Sausage

Hank_Jones wrote: »

They probably aren't happy in their relationships.

That, or you are just really hot.







*wonders if poster is male or female*

I'm a good looking guy I may as well admit.

bazmaiden

Hank_Jones wrote: »

*wonders if poster is male or female*

With a husband and kids?


Edit: he's gay

orourkeda

People who deliberately pronounce their words incorrectly.

Growth is not gross.

Wealth Rate is not well freight

Digital T.V is not Digisal C.V.

ottostreet

Ranting & Raving really is taking over AH

Detour

Detour wrote: »

It's annoying when people refer to themselves with words like 'kooky','crazy' or 'random'.

:mad:
"Oh my gawd you're in oisin's house, that's like, so random?!"
No it isn't, die

epgc3fyqirnbsx

People who dont put the milk back in the firdge.
People who do put the milk back in the fridge but dont put the lid on.
People who leave the cheese expsed in the fridge, thereby hardening.
People who leave rashers and sausages exposed in the fridge thereby going manky.
People who leave bread exposed thereby going hard.
People who dont take direction no matter how many f*cking times you tell them.

Cullen82

Raelyn Flat Eyeliner wrote: »

People who dont put the milk back in the firdge.
People who do put the milk back in the fridge but dont put the lid on.
People who leave the cheese expsed in the fridge, thereby hardening.
People who leave rashers and sausages exposed in the fridge thereby going manky.
People who leave bread exposed thereby going hard.
People who dont take direction no matter how many f*cking times you tell them.

Clearly someone loves their housemates:D

Novella

Sending "K." messages to express their anger. Grrrrrr.

Hank_Jones

Raelyn Flat Eyeliner wrote: »

People who dont put the milk back in the firdge.

I'll put the milk back in the fridge when I bloody well feel like it, milk doesn't go off for bloody hours,
so whether it is out of the fridge for more than 10 minutes doesn't really matter.

I'm with you on the rest of the food ones though.

Hackysack

People who say text/type lol purely because there's nothing else to say/finish a sentence with.

epgc3fyqirnbsx

Ring you up and have absolutely nothing to say thereby forcing you to yap on about some inane nonsense when all you want to do is wonder about what to put in your next sandwich

epgc3fyqirnbsx

Hank_Jones wrote: »

I'll put the milk back in the fridge when I bloody well feel like it, milk doesn't go off for bloody hours,
so whether it is out of the fridge for more than 10 minutes doesn't really matter.

I'm with you on the rest of the food ones though.

Damnit Jones, that may be ok if you're just gonna use it with tea or coffee but if you need to drink a litre of it with your dinner it needs to tasts as fresh as possible, one hint of a smell and dinner is ruined. RUINED!

callaway92

Scrape their fork when eating has really been pissing me off recently. also just eating loudly in general

Hank_Jones

Raelyn Flat Eyeliner wrote: »

Damnit Jones, that may be ok if you're just gonna use it with tea or coffee but if you need to drink a litre of it with your dinner it needs to tasts as fresh as possible, one hint of a smell and dinner is ruined. RUINED!

Not really, if you leave milk out for a few hours (not in sunlight obviously) and then return it to the fridge, it will return to how it was originally after a few hours in the fridge.

Probably have something to do with the fact that I'm the only real big drinker of milk in the house though, others would only really have it with tea or cereal.

I bloody love milk, it's my favourite drink.
Changed over to low fat there a couple of years ago and haven't looked back.
People are always trying to tempt me with that full fat devil juice but I just say no.

ElaElaElano

Cullen82 wrote: »

There's a guy I know who's been seeing a girl for the past few months - good for him, no big deal eh?

But he's driving me right around the bend and back again talking about her. It's not so much that he's talking about her that annoys me, it's the way he does it. Absolutely any opportunity he can think of to say the words "my girlfriend", well he takes it.

Me and my girlfriend this, Me and my girlfriend that, my girlfriend said this to me........CRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINGE

It's seriously driving me mad at this stage, I see him on a daily basis.

He was showing me her picture on Facebook this morning, I can't tell you how tempted I was to tell him I'd slept with her before just to shut him up.



I had'nt slept with her of course!

Tl;Dr version- friend has hot girlfriend, me so jealous.

Nothing irritates me more than cúnts on the train/bus who think you want in on their phone conversation. Shouting everything- 'YEAH WAS A GREAT NIGHT ON, NO SERIOUSLY MESSY MON YAW YAW'.

I don't care. No-one else cares. Shut up.

epgc3fyqirnbsx

Hank Jones post inspired this
People who buy 'low fat' food for the house
It's muck!! I dont care if full fat cows milk wasn't designed for the human body, it's damn tasty and isn't just white water
Also, f*ck off with your dairy spreads, it's butter I'm having right
And do not get me started on low-fat mayonaisse. Whatever the f*ck that stuff is

BroomBurner

People who spell English words the French way, to try to look more intelligent.

People that believe themselves to be "individuals" and must go off and do "individualist things" like study philosophy and comment on how beneath them every other member of the human race is. Wow, you read a book. Blue Peter badge in the post.

ballsymchugh

vegetarians that try to lump their ways onto you. especially the ones that insist on non-GM food even though the evidence says it does no harm.

i'm going out for a burger now.

ballsymchugh

BroomBurner wrote: »

People who spell English words the French way, to try to look more intelligent.

People that believe themselves to be "individuals" and must go off and do "individualist things" like study philosophy and comment on how beneath them every other member of the human race is. Wow, you read a book. Blue Peter badge in the post.

mangetout rodney!

Hank_Jones

People who don't like certain low fat foods.
If it tastes as good almost as good as full fat and is much better for you than full fat,
I don't see why someone wouldn't eat these products.

My da was always like that with his full fat only stuff,
but there is no difference between low fat mayonnaise and full fat,
low fat/sugar pasta sauces taste just as good, curry sauces, the list goes on.

epgc3fyqirnbsx

People who make ridicolous statements! :P

RachPie

People annoy me a lot.
Case & point:

People who try to fit in so hard, they start copying things everyone else does to try look like they're "in with it" or whatever.
People who pretend to drink loads/talk about drinking loads after a night of drinking.
People who take pictures of absolutely everything on a day or night out and post all 4535436 pictures to facebook.
People who don't mean what they say, and don't say what they mean.
People who leave the caps off the milk, rubbish on the side in the kitchen despite there being a bin just 2 feet away.
People who promise things but never deliver on the promise - i.e. we'll meet up for lunch! When you text them, they're always "busy".
Women who think they're the hottest thing on God's earth, and are so pretentious and false that the only thing they think about is themselves and what clothes/shoes/make up they're going to buy next
Men who are equally as vain, and treat women like dirt.
I could go on, but I'm sure I'm boring people;)

ballsymchugh

Hank_Jones wrote: »

People who don't like certain low fat foods.
If it tastes as good almost as good as full fat and is much better for you than full fat,
I don't see why someone wouldn't eat these products.

My da was always like that with his full fat only stuff,
but there is no difference between low fat mayonnaise and full fat,
low fat/sugar pasta sauces taste just as good, curry sauces, the list goes on.

yeah there is!!

plein de force

people who take their bad moods on other people and create an air of uncomfortableness where you feel like they're about to burst into rage at any moment, i know very specific but a certain someone i know has been doing that a lot lately

Susie_Q

RachPie wrote: »

People annoy me a lot.
Case & point:

Case in point.

I find it annoying when people get phrases wrong... especially when people say "I could care less" when they actually mean the exact opposite.

RachPie

Susie_Q wrote: »

Case in point.

I find it annoying when people get phrases wrong... especially when people say "I could care less" when they actually mean the exact opposite.

Why thank you for correcting me on that appalling mistake, you truly are most gracious.