Movies where nothing happens (not a list thread)

Richard Dower

I was wondering if you guys had seen movies, like watching paint dry...or some guy sitting on a bench for 90 mins, so called "experimental" movies?

Can you think of any and describe them?...anything of note worthy of morbid viewing interest?

Dempsey

Liberty Stands Still

Alot of talking and posturing that fizzles out. 2 hours of my life that I still want back :pac:

EDIT

Basically a sniper plays 'simon says' with a arms dealer but when you just think the film is about to kick into life, it doesnt.

Miguel_Sanchez

Not too much happens in Free Association, Old Joy and Wendy and Lucy.

Mutual Appreciation - a musician moves to New York, fancies his friend's girlfriend, plays a gig, talks a lot.

Old Joy - two old friends go hiking in the mountains. One cries.

Wendy and Lucy - A drifter loses her dog.


I enjoyed all of them myself.

bnt

Years ago I think I saw Derek Jarman's Blue. Not quite sure whether I did, since could have nodded off and not noticed. The IMDB plot synopsis:

Against a plain, unchanging blue screen, a densely interwoven soundtrack of voices, sound effects and music attempt to convey a portrait of Derek Jarman's experiences with AIDS, both literally and allegorically, together with an exploration of the meanings associated with the colour blue.

This was back in the early 90s, the Rock Hudson / Philadelphia days, when having AIDS made you "interesting". :cool:

Mickeroo

Valhall Rising. Looks like it might be pretty eventful for the first 20 minutes or so. It's a trick! Sets itself up to be a lone wolf and cub/spaghetti western type scenario at first but ends up going all arty farty in the worst possible way.

johnny_ultimate

There are proper 'nothing happens' films (i.e. arty, pretentious stuff), and then you have the slow paced character dramas where many will criticise the film for 'nothing happening'.

In the first category, you have all that **** Andy Warhol made, like Blowjob, a 35 minute shot of a man's face as he, well, you can guess. Or Sleep, a shot of a man sleeping (for 321 min according to IMDB). You probably don't need to watch these films, incidentally. A one line synopsis will save you valuable hours.

There's non-narrative cinema too, free of anything that isn't sound or visual. You might have some social commentary, but mostly just a montage of arresting imagery. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Qatsi_trilogy is probably the most famous of this lot, definitely worth checking out. The images are fantastic, the Phillip Glass scores sublime. Nothing happens, but nothing happens beautifully.

And then you have the slow paced dramas, stuff like the mumblecore films (Funny Ha Ha etc...), Still Walking, Ozu movies, Wendy and Lucy, the Dogma 95 films etc... Stuff definitely happens in these films, but they lack the exaggerated drama many others would. They are happier to relax and let the characters get on with life.

So the proper 'nothing happens' films are often best avoided - usually art films that have some random commentary or message they want to convey. Or they can just be pretentious **** (almost literally in Warhol's case). But there are also the non-narrative films and slow paced ones which don't really deserve to be criticised for nothing happening, as sometimes that's the whole point.

Insulting_Bitch

I went through a phase of downloading and watching movies based solely on their title and nothing else. I could not pass up the chance to watch Amateur Porn Star Killer.

Experimental/college project type movie filmed on what felt like a very shaky handycam with atrocious sound all the way through. The only thing I liked about it was that it made me very uncomfortable and uneasy (I like films that bring out feelings, good or bad)

losthorizon

Russian Ark - A film set in the winter palace in St Petersburg. Its also by far the most boring, mind numbing piece of crap Ive ever seen. It got great reviews!:(

Richard Dower

Insulting_Bitch wrote: »

I went through a phase of downloading and watching movies based solely on their title and nothing else. I could not pass up the chance to watch Amateur Porn Star Killer.

Experimental/college project type movie filmed on what felt like a very shaky handycam with atrocious sound all the way through. The only thing I liked about it was that it made me very uncomfortable and uneasy (I like films that bring out feelings, good or bad)

There are two sequels! :eek:

Skerries

i watched that Girl with the Pearl Earring and nothing ****ing happens in it
a Painter has leanings towards one of his housemaids but does nothing and then it ends

also as mentioned Valhalla Rising, just as things look like they are about to go somewhere
Nothing!

Cantona's Collars

My Sisters Keeper-The other half had it on the other night,I was slowly losing the will to live,the whole movie could've been done in 15 mins.The same scenario over and over for the duration of the movie.To top it all I found out today that in the book-

The healthy sister dies in a crash in the end and the sick one lives on,complete opposite of the film ending.

Richard Dower

^ saw that movie, it moved me...very emotional movie, and the film ending worked better then the book ending. Why dis this movie?

Otis Driftwood

Insulting_Bitch wrote: »

I went through a phase of downloading and watching movies based solely on their title and nothing else. I could not pass up the chance to watch Amateur Porn Star Killer.

Experimental/college project type movie filmed on what felt like a very shaky handycam with atrocious sound all the way through. The only thing I liked about it was that it made me very uncomfortable and uneasy (I like films that bring out feelings, good or bad)

If you enjoyed that try Jesus Christ : Serial Rapist.Its a terrible movie but kinda fun.

The guy

There is something similar to what somebody else mentioned, Empire which is 485 minutes of footage of the Empire state building filmed by Andy Warhol.

He sure knows how to make an enjoyable film. :pac:

Valmont

johnny_ultimate wrote: »

And then you have the slow paced dramas, stuff like the mumblecore films (Funny Ha Ha etc...)

That film is one of my favourite Film4 unknowns. I put it on expecting the usual old hollywood-american-girl film and I was pleasantly surprised. Any recommendations along the same line?

Cantona's Collars

Richard Dower wrote: »

^ saw that movie, it moved me...very emotional movie, and the film ending worked better then the book ending. Why dis this movie?

Found the whole thing very contrived and made purely for the female market,the emotional element degenerated into getting annoyed with it just dragging on from fighting to crying and back to fighting.Theres more happening in an episode of Greys Anatomy and thats saying something.

johnny_ultimate

Valmont wrote: »

That film is one of my favourite Film4 unknowns. I put it on expecting the usual old hollywood-american-girl film and I was pleasantly surprised. Any recommendations along the same line?

Check out this thread, a few of us have been talking about that kind of film! A superb film though.

Jim

The Limits Of Control

The film follows an assassin as he travels through Spain going from place to place. I think he has about 6 lines in the whole film and literally nothing happens at all. I actually quite enjoyed it but found it very exhausting to watch.

dirtyden

Serious man, I think that was the name, I should have guessed from the title.