Hurt & Upset

LegacyUser

Myself and my gf have been struggling as of late together and one thing that always remained was that we both still love each other. We got together when we were 18 and have been together 4 years. We said we would take a break from each other for a month or so, i presumed that we would get back together and all will be ok, i text her last night telling her exactly how i feel bout us(that i love her to bits and i really miss her and want to work things out) she txt back saying that she was at dinner with some friends and would call me tomorrow, anyways she called me and said that the time apart made her see that were not right for each other and she wants to spilt for good. I dunno why im writing here just wanted to tell someone and i dunno what to do

Ickle Magoo

I think people can be in love and in lust with each other while not enjoying a particularly healthy relationship. I know you must feel really down at the moment but try to see the positives, there's no point being in a relationship with someone if it is just struggling along - you deserve to find a healthy relationship that doesn't struggle to the point taking a break is even considered. You either both have to be willing to thrash out all the issues in your relationship and iron out all the crinkles causing issues or accept it just isn't going to work.

Best of luck.

Chin up.

redhed35

start no contact,its the quickest way to heal from a broken relationship.

no contact includes,text,email,facebook asking friends for information,she wants out,do yourself a favour and disapear from her life.

give her what she wants.

get busy in your own life,hit the gym,throw yourself into work/college.

get support from family and friends.

you WILL recover from this,it takes time and its not easy but the rewards are huge.

its your time now,make the most of it.

sexdwarf

To break up with someone via phone after 4 years is really low and cowardly. I'm sorry you're having a tough time OP, we've all been there and it's really horrible.

First things first, I agree...no contact whatsoever, keep yourself busy and remember that you were struggling so the relationship was heading in this direction. Try not to spend long periods of time pining about what could have been and try to get out and have fun with your friends.

It will get easier over time.

whatsamsn

Sorry op,
but some harsh realistic advice is needed here.


this "month break" - was not really a break. All proposed "breaks" are smoke screens. They're either:
- A nice way of breaking up. Avoiding the messy parts.
- Even sometimes to go off with someone else (so its guilt free) majority of time sudden "breaks" are because there is someone else on the scene. - Some "breaks" are even so people can test the single life again. Keeping the "on break partner" on the sidelines. Just in case.

Fact is, I say she now wants to go off with others. And sorry to say, most likely has in the last month.
Lets think of it this way... Your gf of 4 years told you lets take a break. rather than breaking up with you. And then told you over the phone "yeah its not going to continue" ...

This girl is only looking out for herself. Doesnt care about your emotions or feelings. Stop looking at her in such a nice light now.

Again, Not to tell it like it is too much.
My gut says this "break" was a way of her going off with other people without feeling bad.