Feeling left behind

LegacyUser

I suffered a bad breakup about 18 months ago. I was engaged and found out my fiancee was cheating with a girl we both knew.
We split, very bitterly and both carried on with our lives.

My group of friends and my family were amazingly supportive at the time. I found a brand new social life and was out all the time, getting on with things and enjoying my new found freedom.

But here's the sticky bit. In the last 6/7 months, gradually one by one all my friends and family have moved on from the single life.All around me people are getting married/engaged/pregnant.
And while I really am genuinely happy for them, I am beginning to feel left behind.

All I hear is wedding talk. All I see is rings, dresses, scan pictures etc. I feel like what I have to say is so insignificant in comparison. We used to talk about our nights out, the cute guys we liked, holidays and drunken shennanigans. And when I do talk about that now, I nearly feel pitied in a way. It's meaningless in comparison to what they all have going on.

To top it all of, part of me feels like I should be a part of it. I should be a newly wed, planning my family. I should be able to be involved in this talk rather than feeling like an outsider.

Everyone is so busy now. Nobody wants to meet up, go out etc. I love my friends and family. I really do. And I don't want to find a new set of friends. They are a fantastic bunch of people and I'm blessed that I am part of this happiness they are all experiencing.

But how do I get through this time without feeling hard done by. I know I need to get over myself but how do I do that?

BTW, this is being prompted by 2 friends impending weddings and a sisters engagement announcement last week along with another friend announcing last night that she is pregnant.

I'm so happy for them all. But yes, I'll admit it, I'm having a wee pity party for myself.

LegacyUser

I was like you at one stage. All my friends had found their partners, all seemed to have important, truly meaningful life events going on. I felt like I was still stuck in party mode, wasn't ready to throw in the towel and felt sorry for myself.
I then attended a few things (plays, small gigs) by myself. Met some friends I hadn't seen in years. Joined meetup.com, met with other people in the same boat. It all went slowly at first, but after a few months I had two or three activities going on every week. I also met new friends (I still keep in contact with my old friends), and I'm now out enjoying myself instead of sitting at home wishing I had someone to go out with.
You are really going to have to rouse yourself to get out there again. It's daunting, but within a few months, you'll look back on the way you were and kick yourself that you didn't rouse yourself sooner.......I know I did!
Good luck

L.Jenkins

Hey, I'm one of those people whose lives is just all over the place. We've all experienced breakups. I was once set to get hitched but the relationship fell apart. You will move on completely in time. I say don't worry, things will work out for you. Don't let the fact that others around you are moving on, enjoy the experiences with them and remember that one day you will have all of that too.