potty training help

metrovelvet

Im having moderate success, in that its hit and miss. Basically my three year old does not care and never has. At first I thought hewas too lazy to use the potty or toilet and too involved in his activities to be bothered. But he has asked for his nappies back and says he doesnt want to use the potty. I have a feeling this is either protest or a refusal to say goodbye to babyhood. I have made several failed attempts since he turned two. I tried leaving him commando and in pajama bottoms. Same result. Have done the three day lockdown, am in the middle of another one now. Have tried rewards too. It's moderately successfull in that he will go to the potty only when he feels like it. Nothing seems to be working. I know I must be missing something but I cant figure out what it is.

shell42970

Are there any males in the household that your son can watch as they do their own bathroom business? If not, does he have a potty-trained male playmate whom he could watch do the deed? Having a beloved male potty role-model he can watch in action might motivate your son to emulate them.

Does he have a younger sibling he may be feeling some competition with right now? I remember my youngest brother was 3 and completely potty-trained when my little sister arrived, and promptly gave up his newly-acquired toilet habits. It took my parents several months, and lots of individual attention, to get him back on track again.

I would not give him back his nappies if I were in your shoes.

I've heard that with kids 3 and up it's sometimes helpful to enlist their help (without shame) in cleaning up the misses. The theory is that they tire of the work and time involved with it and begin using the potty, instead (this isn't recommended for children under 3, and isn't a technique I've ever used, myself).

Best of luck!

metrovelvet

No males in the household. He has seen other kids but not interested. At first I thought it was a confidence issue. I haven't ruled this out. I do enlist him for the cleanup. He doesnt mind this. No siblings to compete with either. I just don't know what else to do.

emmiou

We had this with our little boy too - he was initially excited about potty training around his 2nd birthday, but when our new baby came along he regressed and was having too many accidents so stayed in nappies until recently. He would wet/soil himself several times a day and would only use the potty/toilet if you sat him down on it and bribed him, he never went to it on his own or told me he needed to go - I thought we'd never get him trained. He was in a creche before I went on maternity leave and they were having the same problems with him there. When he finished up in the creche he was lonely for other children to play with and was asking for his friends.
I started bringing him over to look into the playschool he is going to in september, and telling him how he would have lots of friends to play with there, but that he couldn't go until we were finished using nappies. I kept him in just pants and a t-shirt at home, and after a few days it was like a switch just flipped 3 weeks ago and he got it! He asked to go to the playschool now so I booked him in for 2 days a week in their summer camp and he has been there for 3 weeks and not one accident to date - he is dry day and night at last at 2 years and 10 months old.

metrovelvet

I've kept him in the house but between cabin fever and having to get things done which require leaving the house I'm thinking at this point of continuing with life as normal without nappies, except for trips in the car. Do you think that would work?

emmiou

I found the cabin fever hard to deal with too - lucky the weather was great those weeks and we able to put out the paddling pool and hang out in the garden. I got some training pants in boots - terry towelling ones, about 5euro each for going out before I was fully confident with him - if I put pull up pants on him he used them just like nappies. He always has very very loose stools and if he had an accident while we were out it would have been impossible to clean without a full change of clothes and shoes - at least the training pants would have contained the mess somewhat - luckily he never actually went to the toilet while wearing them. You can get incontinence pads or the huggies bedpads and use them underneath him in the carseat/buggy etc too just in case. We haven't had a very long car journey yet so haven't had to deal with a wet carseat but he really seems to have caught on now so hopefully it won't happen.
We were out on a big walk yesterday and the way home was flooded so we had about an hour's wait while it was pumped, and he needed to go - I had a nappy with me for his little brother and put that on him - he did a poo in it but was very upset, he was walking like John Wayne for the 5 minute walk home after the flood and told me it was horrible and that he wanted to have a shower - so I think he really understands it now. He likes the novelty of going into the toilets everywhere we go but is so funny when he won't use one because it is smelly!
It is such a relief to have him trained at last, I was getting so fed up with him because I knew he could control it when he wanted to - the wee at least - whilst I was distracted with the baby he had, at various times, pee'd into his brother's sippy cup, the brush attachment of my window washer, and showing a lot of skill - had taken an ice cube tray from the kitchen cupboard and managed to fill each little section without spilling. My mother-in-law recommended letting him wear just pants and wellies so they'd fill with wee and he'd be aware of it but thankfully we never tried that or I'd feel the odd choices of receptacle could be my fault!

Grawns

Just a thought what about those things that you put in the toilet ( plastic ball things and they aim at them? Saw it somewhere!

Grawns

Here you go
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Target-Infant-Toilet-Training-Balls/dp/B000MJSJU2/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=baby&qid=1279829187&sr=8-1

metrovelvet

Lol. I can see where that's going!

Kalimah

My lads were both 3 years and 3 months exactly when they trained-practically overnight. Leave it a while maybe?
My 2 girls were 2 and half when they trained.

metrovelvet

How do I get him to take this seriously? I must be doing something wrong.

He thinks his penis is a toy. He totally gets the concept, he gets the signal but thinks its much more fun to pee into a toy cash register for example or onto his train tracks to see the flume effect of pee going down the track.

Im convinced this has to do with saying goodbye to babyhood. He already told me he doesnt want to grow up, he doesnt want to be a man, he doesnt want to get bigger and bigger.

Eoineo

Personally I'd take a break & stop focussing so much on the toilet training. Resume normal life for a couple of weeks but highlight stuff for him that he can't do as he's not toilet trained. e.g. only the big boys who don't wear nappies can do that etc, etc.

LOL at the comment that he sees his penis as a toy - he's old before his time so!

Is there a reason why he HAS to be trained this week?

niallith

metrovelvet wrote: »

How do I get him to take this seriously? I must be doing something wrong.

He thinks his penis is a toy. He totally gets the concept, he gets the signal but thinks its much more fun to pee into a toy cash register for example or onto his train tracks to see the flume effect of pee going down the track.

Im convinced this has to do with saying goodbye to babyhood. He already told me he doesnt want to grow up, he doesnt want to be a man, he doesnt want to get bigger and bigger.

my little girl is the same way. we have been potty training since wednesday and she doesn't seem to care either way. Being in wet pants doesn't bother her and she rather pee in her pants then on the potty. she keeps telling me she loves nappies and she isn't a big girl. I tell her we can't go to the circus or go see grandma until she is using the potty.

metrovelvet

Well I have good news for you. Things can change. I don't think it came down to anything I did or didn't do, but his confidence in doing it.