need help fast.....ladies opinions would be fabolous

LegacyUser

Hi there,

Not going to beat about the bush here.

Long story short, me and this girl are together six months or so, im a recent graduate and she is moving to the us to study.

now this is where it gets wierd, i always planned to go to nyc or somewhere close to work for a while. now there is a graduate visa out, yipee we all say. well yes and no!

while me and the girl are together per say we never discussed the bf and gf titles.
so anyway, im happily out applying for graduate jobs in dublin as its easy for me to stay at home and traverse. had a few interviews but they never worked out, then all of a sudden this graduate visa idea hits me in the face, then the next thing im told of powerful contacts in the area the girl is going to study. and that a job is guaranteed!

now what do i do, i want the girl to have the time of her life, i want us to be happy together but i dont want to cramp her style of freak her out.


what am i to do, and also i might mention she leaves before me if i were to go, as in about 5 weeks or so difference!

whats a guy to do and how the hell am i going to break this to her! do i tell her how i feel about her and ask her to go out if i end up near her in the states. oH MY GOD IM FREAKING OUT THINKING ABOUT ALL OF IT! im just at a loss, PLEASE HELP ME!!

Thanks a mill boardsies

vicecreamsundae

tell her someone has guaranteed you a job, and tell her that you're thinking of going. then ask her IF she'd like to keep seeing you if you were in the same area or if she'd rather do her own thing.

she doesn't *own* whatever city it is she's going to -if you need a job and want to go there , then you dont need her permission. but as for whether she'll want to go over there with you in a relationship, or want to go over to meet new people -that could go either way. just ask her about it. nothing to lose.

Miss Fluff

What do you mean a job is "guaranteed"? Is it set in stone with an offer letter etc? Would you consider going to another part of the States?

It's a tough one to call. It would probably p1ss me off no end but I'm a strange 'un. She might be only too delighted to have the opportunity to experience such an adventure together. It really does depend on what she had hoped to gain from this trip, how she feels about you and a multitude of other factors.

Only way you will know is to talk to her......

LegacyUser

its a contact i didnt realise i had and it was said that if i arrived in the morning the job would be there. well the intention was to go to nyc and live there, giving her her space!

i know i will have to talk to her about it! and plan to do so tomorrow so thats why i need the advice!!

quick run down of the relationship, always in contact with each other, she rings me every night bar the odd one to chat, even when she was on holls she rang and mailed me which was unreal i thought. she seems mad about me alot of touching and stuff on her part so just not sure. she also keeps saying that she doesnt know what she will do when she goes to the states (before i made the full decision that i am going over, it was always a possibility just not set in stone!)

so i dont know, its all very confusing, been in long term relationships before but this one is the real deal and i think she is cliche and all as it is, the one, but at thesame time i dont want to be holding her back, lik if we do end up keeping something going over i wont hold ehr back and i will only expect to see her maybe once a week or less starting off over due to her new experiences.

help guys please!

LegacyUser

op again

has anyone ever been through a dilema like this before?

Blackdrag

Dude there’s no clear cut way to sort this one out.

You need to have a sit down with her and have a chat. It also doesn’t help that you don’t know how far you’re going to be apart. But if you two feel strongly about each other you will always find a way to make it work.

Don’t sweat it bro, It will work out one way or another!

Redpunto

Just be honest with her, you cant control how other people react or feel so just tell her what happening and ask her opinion on it.