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We broke up and I feel lost

  • 19-07-2010 8:41pm
    #1
    Esoteric_
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,255 ✭✭✭✭


    Hey. Firstly, I'm not some stupid kid so please don't think I'm being an overemotional brat :p

    Anyway... My boyfriend of two years and I broke up today. I didn't see it coming. Long story short, some really bad things happened to him before we got together and as a result of those, he is not stable enough mentally to be in a relationship. He still loves me, I still love him, but we reached the decision to break up together because I understand and respect his reasons. We're hoping to remain friends, there was no fighting, no animosity and that's the way we want to keep it.

    Thing is, I feel pretty much lost. He's the only person I fully trusted with details of what happened to me when I was raped. Almost everyone else I told took my attacker's side (he was an ex partner, mutual friends with all of my "friends."). I have friends still, but he was the only person I could properly trust and I didn't think that this would happen. I feel alone.

    Apart from distractions and time, what can I do to feel better? I've lost my best friend as well as my boyfriend. He was so great about it when we were talking, all he was concerned for was my welfare and kept making sure I was ok and apologizing. I don't blame him in the slightest because I want him to be happy like he deserves to be, but it feels so wrong. Everything reminds me of him. He was the only person I felt I could tell anything to and even though he says I still can because we are going to remain friends, I don't feel like I can because it's all different now.

    I just want the hurt to stop so that both of us can move on and be happy.


Comments

  • #2
    Ickle Magoo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,485 ✭✭✭✭Ickle Magoo


    :(

    I'm not sure you can be friends until you are over him, otherwise he's going to keep reminding you of what you are missing every time you see him and it's going to be like picking the scab of a wound, over and over and over again - and it takes 10 x as long to heal.

    Do you have any close friends of family you could fall back on because I think trying to lean on your ex-boyfriend to get over your ex-boyfriend could be a disaster.

    As for what you can do? Not a lot in my experience. Throw yourself back into going out and meeting people, go on holiday, visit old friends and family but the only cure for a broken heart is time, sorry. :(

    Best of luck


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