to go on date or not to go on date??

LegacyUser

Well I am in unfamiliar territory here !

Recently broke up with my boyfriend about two months ago, we are still in a little bit of contact.

couple of days ago, this guy who I sorta know, but not really know started texting me, now he is very cute and nice and all that nonsense ...thing is he has asked me to meet up..I'm guessing this is some sort of date, I have not replied yet as I am terrified. My ex was my first boyfriend and well we were dating for over 5 years ! ..so I am a little in experienced in the whole dating thing.

Thing is, I am tempted, but I would feel really bad if my ex was to hear about it or see us, I mean two months isn't that long he could be very hurt. On the other hand I would feel bad turning this buy down or giving him the line "I am just out of a relationship" ....

then again, I don't want to go into another relationship, if i go on this date am I leading him on with having no intention of taking it further.


gosh I am very confused, any advice appreciated ! Thanks !

munstergirl

Reply yes.

Just go out and have some fun, pay 50/50 and just enjoy yourself.

It does not have to turn into a relationship (it might) life is too short.

I think your thinking too much.

neveah

I too came out of a 5 year relationship and a guy asked me out a few months ago. He was cute and I was flattered but very inexperienced with the whole dating thing as well, very similiar situation to you!

Anyway we went on the date for a few drinks and I have to admit I enjoyed it and had a good night, I was glad I went. We went on a second date for a meal but at this stage the guy was getting a bit too full on with me and I realised that I just wasn't ready to get into a new relationship.

Based on my own experience I would still recommend you go on the date, it's the only way you will know what you want. It's good to experience new people especially after a 5 year relationship. If it doesn't work out/doesn't feel right for you then you can explain this to the guy. That's what I did. I was completely honest that I had just come out of a long term relationship and I just wasn't ready to get into anything serious. Who knows, this guy could be your perfect partner! You'll never know if you don't go on the date;)

Pembily

I am 4 months out of my 4 year relationship and went out with a guy on Friday night and it was good fun and I will be doing it again, but it won't be going to a relationship I am simply not ready!!!

Being a bitch if my ex were to find out I really don't care that much anymore, I know its harsh and I broke up with him but I can't stop living my live cos he is hurting...

Go on the date, enjoy yourself and if it right its right and if not walk away with a smile

Overheal

Go for it.

If your ex's hurt about it just get in touch with him and tell him the truth: that you didn't want to hurt him and that he wasn't meaningless to you or anything, but you just wanted to go out with this new guy, simple as that.

LegacyUser

well I am going on the date! I am terrified ! Ya worst case scenario would be if I bumped into my ex, but I guess we are broken up ...no harm really in distracting myself from the post break up blues, he could be doing the same thing after all. .. just looking there its almost two moths since we broke up, does that make a difference?

Thanks for the advice! eep any venue do's and don'ts (i.e cinema? pub? ...can't think of anywhere else really..) I am seriously new to this, and I don't know this guy very well at all I think we have met twice !

entropi

Hopefully it all works and you have a great time on the date:)

The best thing to do for a 1st date is to keep it simple, a walk in a park...quick bite to eat or if you are both into it, a few drinks and a chat.

As for cinema as an option, most people will say no as there's no chance to talk during one but after...but you both might be movie fans and would like that actually? There are so many things you can do that will be fun though:)

28064212

hmmmuhhhhmmm? wrote: »

well I am going on the date! I am terrified ! Ya worst case scenario would be if I bumped into my ex, but I guess we are broken up ...no harm really in distracting myself from the post break up blues, he could be doing the same thing after all. .. just looking there its almost two moths since we broke up, does that make a difference?

Thanks for the advice! eep any venue do's and don'ts (i.e cinema? pub? ...can't think of anywhere else really..) I am seriously new to this, and I don't know this guy very well at all I think we have met twice !

Definitely not the cinema, unless you're both movie fans and you're going somewhere afterwards for a drink or something to eat. Going to a pub for a drink is probably your best bet, somewhere the music isn't too loud. Means you can chat away, but silences aren't awkward.