womens opinions please

peteypop

please this is not a brag,this is a serious issue for me.
It takes me more than hour to climax with a woman and to be honest most women that i have meet are not able for me,i get the comments are u not going to come or hurry up and come.I have had a few women say to me that no woman would put up with me???.Is this not normal.Please i thought most women would be delighted that their man wasnt a 5 minute wonder.
Could u put up with this or is there something wrong with me,im not a stud im just an average guy in his early 30s.

LegacyUser

peteypop wrote: »

please this is not a brag,this is a serious issue for me.
It takes me more than hour to climax with a woman and to be honest most women that i have meet are not able for me,i get the comments are u not going to come or hurry up and come.I have had a few women say to me that no woman would put up with me???.Is this not normal.Please i thought most women would be delighted that their man wasnt a 5 minute wonder.
Could u put up with this or is there something wrong with me,im not a stud im just an average guy in his early 30s.

I have to admit that would be a problem for me. It's painful and can leave the woman bruised, sore and unwilling to have sex again.

Also I would be pretty insulted if a man could hold on an hour and not be able to climax. It doesn't say much for the woman's attractiveness and technique. I would be quite offended that the guy couldn't find me sexy enough to cum in a shorter timeframe.

Sorry, I cum quickly and easily so I would not be able for an hour but maybe other girls are different!

AngryBadger

peteypop wrote: »

Is this not normal.Please i thought most women would be delighted that their man wasnt a 5 minute wonder.

You'd think most women would be appreciative of a guy who can actually go all night, it emerges that this is not the case. And in fact when you can last longer than your female partner some women turn it into a guilt trip.

OP if you can finish up earlier it would certainly alleviate these womens inadequacies, but do you really want to do that?

To your question, there's nothing wrong with having good stamina, (in fact it's to be applauded), but in particular as a guy this puts you in a minority group. Consequently, since a lot of women are used to guys who would be doing well to make 5 minutes, they're completely unable to cope with a man with a threshold that exceeds this.

I've often experienced women giving out because I don't orgasm when they do, that I'm "wearing" them out, and so on. Unfortunately as a guy it's a typical response and if you contest it then you're obviously some kind of deviant.

Personally I take great pride in it, and women who can't keep up, well that's their problem. I'd suggest you take the same perspective moving forward

Ickle Magoo

I would say the vast majority of men come in less than an hour but that's not to say taking an hour isn't "normal". I would certainly favour longevity over the alternative but saying that, knowing that an hour of banging away at a minimum was on the cards even when I wanted a quickie would get pretty boring pretty quickly - variety is the spice of life.

Does it take you an hour when you masturbate or have you trained yourself to require a specific kind of stimulation?

Eve_Dublin

For me it´s nothing to do with not being able to keep up....once I come, it becomes dry and uncomfortable, even painful downstairs and I simply have no desire to continue for another 30 minutes. But that´s just me. Maybe you need to keep on looking for a lady who´s compatible and perhaps mix up your moves to keep it interesting for the lady in question. Women are capable of multiple orgasms, so instead of just banging away for over an hour, read up on how to make the most out of it.

Someone telling you to "hurry up" is hardly conducive to romance, in fairness.

jurgenscarl

Why should this be a problem?
Don't make any apologies for your stamina.
Women should be only glad to have a man who can stay up all night.
What you need to do is learn to give women multiple orgasms and vary the positions.
Remember that many men have erectile problems, many men suffer from premature ejaculation and a lot of guys can't even get laid.
If you want to cum earlier during sex, avoid masturbation between sex because the 'iron glove' means you have trained your penis to respond to rougher treatment than a woman can give it.

Ickle Magoo

jurgenscarl wrote: »

Don't make any apologies for your stamina.
Women should be only glad to have a man who can stay up all night..

Why?

I take it by the same token men should automatically appreciate & be glad of a woman who takes an hour to climax each and every time over one that takes much less? It's a male perpetuated myth that lasting hours is desirable to all women and that it's somehow a super-show of stamina and something to be applauded. Keeping both parties satisfied and happy is the main aim of a successful and fulfilling relationship, not assuming taking an hour to climax by one party should automatically be appreciated by the other.

Miss Fluff

How long does it take you to cum when you're masturbating OP? There is nothing "wrong" with you and I think worrying about it may exascerbate the problem and delay things even further so for women to say that nobody would put up with you is quite cruel.

Tbh despite the myth, women don't always want a guy banging like billyio for an hour but I wouldn't get hung up on it. Maybe you should think about cutting down on masturbating in between sex and also concentrate more on oral and other ways of getting you off rather than just focussing solely on penetration.

dublingal80

maybe just have a lot more foreplay and when you start to think you are on your way, then start having sex
I personally couldnt have sex for that long as presvious posters said it can hurt a lot after that amount of time.

I was with a guy once that took far longer than I could keep going. It was unfortunate but we didn't really let it bother us. We'd have sex, and if/when I started to get sore I'd let him know. He'd go easier on me and then if I actually couldn't take it anymore we'd stop, relax for a while and then we'd use other means to "get the job done".

It was a compromise. I would certainly never tell a guy to "hurry up", or give out to him for not being so overwhelmed by my beauty that he came on the spot. That's selfish and a little bit mean. But in return, I'd be pissed if a guy just expected me to keep going when I was in pain.

LegacyUser

An hour is too long. There are very few women who want that.
Reverse the sexes for a moment, if it took an hour of oral sex to make your girlfriend cum would that be a good thing or a bad thing? Likewise with sex.
Don't get me wrong, I love sex, but after 20 minutes, it gets repetitive, muscles get sore, and my focus goes.

The reason you have this "problem" is probably due to the way you masturbate.
Think about how much stimulation you're giving yourself. When you masturbate, you get your penis used to a certain type of stimulation - tight grip being the classic error. After a while you need that much pressure to cum, your girlfriend doesn't provide that, so it takes you ages. The trick is to change how you masturbate - lots of lube, loose grip, going gently on yourself. It'll take time but you'll become more sensitive again.

AngryBadger

If the OP has high stamina in the bedroom, is it not also up to his aprtner to make some kind of effort to accommodate this?

I don't mean she should let him "bang her like a shed door" for an hour, but climax can be achieved by means other than penetration for both men and women. Surely the solution here is that the OP and his partner(s) reach some kind of an understanding on what work for both and what doesn't?

I'm posting this mainly because a lot of the responses so far are treating the OPs stamina like it's some kind of defect, and something he should obviously be trying to correct. If the OP was a woman would he be getting the same response? Would people be telling him to change his sexual habits?

Ickle Magoo

AngryBadger wrote: »

If the OP has high stamina in the bedroom, is it not also up to his aprtner to make some kind of effort to accommodate this?

He doesn't have high stamina, unless you are just referring to the physical energy required to thrust - any other reference to stamina would be suggesting he chooses not to come for an hour or so and the stamina involved is in managing not to climax - his post specifically states it takes him at least an hour to come, it takes him at least an hour of having sex to get to the point of ejaculation. That isn't stamina in any kind of fun, teasing, on-the-edge way, it's far more likely simply down to the way he's trained his penis to require greater stimulation than a vagina is able to provide.

If the OP was stating he loved hanging on for hours and his girlfriend was being nasty about it then I'd agree with you - but nowhere does he state he's taking an hour to climax out of choice nor that he finds the longevity enjoyable and fun. Of course lasting more than 5 mins is a given - but an hour is just at the opposite end of the spectrum and frankly often just as tedious. Saying no-one would want him is just a horrible, bitchy thing to say but certainly changing **** style to retrain himself to come in less than an hour is hardly unreasonable, given the hassle it's causing him. If a poster was complaining his gf took over an hour to come, I'd be suggesting masturbatory techniques to them too.

AngryBadger

Point taken.

Lux23

I don't know it can often take about a hour in all for a man to come if you include foreplay and I like to stop and start anyway so I don't see why a girl would be put off it. Do you actually mean you would spend nearly an hour having actual sex before you come?

Trashbat

Some mechanical advice:

1) use appropriate condoms. Skin thin usually provide most sensitivity. Avoid "performa" or other anesthetic brands. Also be aware that you could be using something too small (I know, ego boost etc...). Try a larger condom, may give you more sensitivity and make things easier.

2) do not constantly switch positions. This will not help at all. Indeed switching postion is often given as advice for men to delay orgasm. Find one place comfortable and arousing for both of you, and stick to it.

3) use some of that "tingle" lubricant. It can benifit you by providing extra sensitivity.


I presume that you can eventually climax, so thats not the problem, its jsut a case that there may be something delaying it.

LegacyUser

OP my first sexual partner was the same as you. I had nothing to compare it to, so thought all men were like this.
TBH I didnt like it and it was a turn-off for me because as the years went on, I felt sexually unattractive. I felt I wasn't turning on my boyfriend enough.
When I was with other guys after my boyfriend, guys that came really quick were a turn-on for me! Ha!
As someone else said, how long does it take for you when you masturbate? And when you're having sex, is it pleasurable for you the entire time, or just around orgasm?
I think my first boyfriend had a problem with letting himself go. I think he had some kind of block because even when he came, you wouldnt know he did. :eek

OP I don't want you to feel like there is something wrong with you but maybe you should look into it, because speaking from experience it isn't a pleasure for some women.

peteypop

Lux23 wrote: »

I don't know it can often take about a hour in all for a man to come if you include foreplay and I like to stop and start anyway so I don't see why a girl would be put off it. Do you actually mean you would spend nearly an hour having actual sex before you come?

no,i dont mean actual sex for an hour,even tho that would be no problem.If u included foreplay it would be at least an hour possibly more.
Also if i wear condoms basically i will never come and the job will have to be finished by other means.

Pembily

My ex was the same and I knew it was him not me, I would have to finish him off my other means about half the time, I never felt unattractive cos I knew it was just him, I on the other hand can climax very quickly, each to their own!!!

Just don't expect every girl to think its amazing and if they get p!ssed off explain that its the norm for you and it shouldn't be a major problem!!!!