a massive mess

janisjoplin

been with a guy for 5 years,he is married but was seperated from his wife for several months before i met him,things were okish at the start not great,but basically his wife has said stuff about me text stuff about,and this is still ongoing 5 years later,last night he got a text from her and went off walking 4 2 hours with his phone yet he never takes his phone with him,massive argument occurs,mainly me shouting at him and him not repsonding and then today his wife stops her car with their eldest son in it and starts mouthin n shouting at me,she has taken lately to driving past mine or his car and starin in sniggerin or mouthing something,i nearly cracked up rang him and told him to have a word with her as i am sick to death of this ****,his repsonse if you dont like get out,am sick of listenin,wat amazes me in all this is he has turned violent in the past 6 months,headbutted me into d face,broke my wrist and other stuff,promised he would undertake counselling done it for 3 sessions and left said it was useless,yet he has always said to me,i would never hit my wife ad have not hit his wife,but yet he done to me,has thrown me literally onto the street on occasions,he says that its me that i just drive him mental and hey its not like he really beat me up,what i cant understand in all this is why he has treated me like dirt,i have given him everything,gave up my home for him,everything n he says he wants me gone,that he cant cope with me>wtf!!!! i have literally nowhere to go not a penny in my purse as he took every penny i had,i feel so angry its unbelievable

jurgenscarl

Unfortunately this does not look like it can be solved any other way except ending it.
You have been in a relationship for five years but his ex is still hanging around and harrasing you.
You say he has headbutted you and thrown you to the ground and taken all your money.
He is violent, selfish and a thief.
You need to leave him and make a clean break.
This man is abusing you and using you and he has not resolved the situation with his ex-wife either.
He complains that you are doing his head in.
The cheek of him.
He is putting the blame on you for his problems.
You need to end the relationship with him and get as far away as possible.
That's easier said than done but is staying with his man and being abused and harrased by his wife exactly easy is it?
You also have to ask yourself why is it that you have allowed this to happen for so long.
You have grown used to being treated badly.
You need to change that and stand up for yourself.
The only way you can do that is get rid of what is making you feel this way.
What is making you feel this way is this relationship.
It is your call and nobody else can make the decision but you.

janisjoplin

jurgenscarl wrote: »

Unfortunately this does not look like it can be solved any other way except ending it.
You have been in a relationship for five years but his ex is still hanging around and harrasing you.
You say he has headbutted you and thrown you to the ground and taken all your money.
He is violent, selfish and a thief.
You need to leave him and make a clean break.
This man is abusing you and using you and he has not resolved the situation with his ex-wife either.
He complains that you are doing his head in.
The cheek of him.
He is putting the blame on you for his problems.
You need to end the relationship with him and get as far away as possible.
That's easier said than done but is staying with his man and being abused and harrased by his wife exactly easy is it?
You also have to ask yourself why is it that you have allowed this to happen for so long.
You have grown used to being treated badly.
You need to change that and stand up for yourself.
The only way you can do that is get rid of what is making you feel this way.
What is making you feel this way is this relationship.
It is your call and nobody else can make the decision but you.

he maintains he took my money as its rent and bills,he hasnt hit me in about 2 months,i have been in abusive relationships in the past and always made the excuse of it being my fault as i am a mouthy cow when i start so i justify what people do to me cos of this,which i know its wrong what hes done but when i tried to approach him bout why hes done what he has done he gets moody and walks away or just shrugs at me,i know deep down theres no future,its just i literally have nothing no one,am trying constantly to get work but to no avail,i try and not left stuff get me down but its gettin so much harder and harder, but thanks for your advice everything u said makes sense

jurgenscarl

janisjoplin wrote: »

he maintains he took my money as its rent and bills,he hasnt hit me in about 2 months,i have been in abusive relationships in the past and always made the excuse of it being my fault as i am a mouthy cow when i start so i justify what people do to me cos of this,which i know its wrong what hes done but when i tried to approach him bout why hes done what he has done he gets moody and walks away or just shrugs at me,i know deep down theres no future,its just i literally have nothing no one,am trying constantly to get work but to no avail,i try and not left stuff get me down but its gettin so much harder and harder, but thanks for your advice everything u said makes sense

Well I hope you get things sorted and what I said is of some help.
I'm not sure if I can say much more.
It's up to you in the end though.
You have to make up your mind what to do.
Best of luck.