I don't want a life

LegacyUser

Anyone else ever feel like this?

I'm 25 and I've recently graduated from my course. I've looked for jobs but not very hard. I'm living off savings at the moment.

I've had plenty of jobs and relationships, and there's been plenty of so-called dramatics in my life over the years. Nothing major, but nothing boring either.

At the moment, and probably for the past few months or so, I just don't even feel like I want a life anymore. So I don't seek one. I don't want a relationship. I don't particularly want friends. I don't want to meet or talk to people. I don't want hobbies. I don't want to do anything. And I don't have a problem with this. The only thing I'm going to need to do is get a job to keep myself alive and in existence. I don't even have a desire for even that much, but I guess it's a necessity.

I guess you could say I've no desire to be alive. But I also have no desire to end my life. It's kinda weird. I mean, I'm not suicidal or anything. I just have no desire to live. I basically don't see any point in it. And if there's no point, then why do it?

Has anyone ever felt like this? Desire for life.... is life just an unnecessary distraction? Am I making any sense??

Please don't mistake this for me feeling sorry for myself: I have a very privileged life and always have, by which I mean I've never been seriously ill, and I've always had a roof over my head and food available. So I'm incredibly lucky in that sense.

I'm just wondering if anyone can relate to this feeling?

OP if you're unemployed at the moment that can happen, just a loss of will to do anything! And not seeing the point in anything.
All I can say is try and at least get some exercise if you're not getting out and about

LegacyUser

I feel like that too. Am really struggling with it as i'm afraid i'm gonna wake up and all of sudden feel the need for these things you talked about.
I'm working in a factory not what i went to college for but its all I can get and frankly i just don't want to try anymore for anything else as nothing at the moment seems much better. I can honestly say there is no job that i'd love at the moment. I just don't give a sh!t anymore. Feel the same about relationships as well, its just like i really can't imagine finding anyone right for me and again don't really feel like putting myself out there, for what? To get married and have kids and then live for caring for them? Don't see the point of starting this all over again. Its like there hasn't been enough 'ups' in my life to want to keep trying at it.
like you as well i dont want to commit suicide or anything like that. I just will exist.
Its kinda like I feel like everything leads to nothing anyway so whats the point. Like you'll work your ass off to get something, get it and then what work towards something else..
Its hard to describe the feeling but generally a feeling of whats the point... like everything seems totally pointless and i sometimes wonder how everyone can go around so happy and rarely if ever feel this way.
Its like i'm missing something

LegacyUser

Hi op, sorry that you're feeling like this, do you have a history of depression or talked to your Gp about this, social withdrawal and feelings of apathy can be symptoms, do talk about it, things will get better:)
http://www.aware.ie/help/helpline/helpline_faqs/

LegacyUser

@ bluewolf: I hear ya, and you're totally right. But I've been out of work before and this time it's just a different feeling.

@ exactly: Everything you've described is also how I feel. It's not necessarily about having a job or not for me though. The job situation is only one part of it. It's life in general. What is the point of it. Who benefits from my life? My family and friends - so I am solely existing to prevent them from having to go through the pain of losing me. (not that I'm suggesting there's anything special about me, but you know what I mean.)

I feel like the only reason I should continue living is to help those less fortunate to me, but since I can't see any point to life full stop, I can't see a point to their lives either. If you get me. It's just life - what, exactly, is the point?

LegacyUser

Op, you say you want to help those less fortunate, maybe you could join a voluntary organization, it's frustrating not having the answers to life's questions but in ways the mystery of it all makes it far more intriguing...

cat_rant

For me life is the pursuit of Happiness - and this is exaclty what you are lacking right now. I hope you can find meaning in your life. Some other posters are correct these feeling can be assosciated with depression - so you should really talk to someone about it - if this has been going on for a while.

Some days I just exist - I don't want to do anything, be anything or feel anything and I just get through that day looking forward to the next one being better.

Diet can help - are you eating a lot of junk right now?
exercise = endorphyns (sp?) chemical hormone naturally produced in the body to lift your mood.

If you feel like your in a slump change something and your mood might lift.

LegacyUser

@ mnmmn: Sorry it appeared I ignored your post. I submitted my anonymous post before yours appeared. Thank you for your concern and for that link I will have a look at it now. I am really what it is. I am not in despair. I'm just feeling that there is no point to life. Unfortunately, I think this is entirely true. I guess it's whether or not I choose to go forward and distract myself from this fact by taking part in life, that will decide my future emotions. I guess that, if I am to continue existing, I would prefer to experience joy and excitement rather than experience no emotion at all. It just seems like such a sad general outlook on life... i.e. that joy is merely a distraction from the pointlessness of it all. If you get me...

@ cat_rant: I hope you feel better soon and find the kind of life you would like to be living. I agree there are many ways to improve my mood, such as exercise and diet etc. And these methods definitely work, they do make me feel much happier. But even when happy, I still possess the knowledge that I don't see a point to life.

I guess I'm not really seeking a solution, because I don't think there is one. It's just nice to know I'm not the only one who fails to see any point to life.

LegacyUser

Hi OP,

First of all I want to tell you you are not alone, I could well have written the majority of that post myself.

I'm in my mid 20s, have always been a confident, outgoing, straight-up (sometimes to the point of getting myself into trouble ) kind of person. On the outside I suppose I still appear that way to certain people. I have absolutely nothing to complain about, I'm healthy, good education, good job, great family and friends and relationships with men have always been good

Lately though I find myself just not caring, not looking forward to anything. I have 2 fantastic holidays coming up but I really struggle to get excited about them. I would rather stay in bed all day or just sit on the sofa and watch telly. I haven' t the energy or desire to do much to be honest. Some days are good and I'm my old self again but days like today are more frequent. I feel like I'm going to waste my life if I carry on like this but my head just feels clouded, stuffed up and I can't seem to clear it. I find myself being more irritable with everyone, I'm sure I'm an absolute joy to be around!

Anyway I'm going to see my doctor tomorrow and I'm going to tell him how I'm feeling and hopefully it'll be the start of a change for me. I suggest you do the same because life really is too short and you're worth so much more

Best of luck, to both of us

Overheal

Sounds vaguely like Nirvana to me.

Wikipedia wrote:

The Buddha described Nirvāna as the perfect peace of the state of mind that is free from craving, anger and other afflicting states (kilesas). It is also the "end of the world"; there is no identity left, and no boundaries for the mind. The subject is at peace with the world, has compassion for all and gives up obsessions and fixations. This peace is achieved when the existing volitional formations are pacified, and the conditions for the production of new ones are eradicated. In Nirvāṇa the root causes of craving and aversion have been extinguished, so that one is no longer subject to human suffering (Pali: dukkha) or further rebirth in Samsāra.

Worth a read, if nothing else. It sounds like you've reached the end of a giant climax in your life, and for what its worth are taking a time-out. I suggest if nothing else, meditation. But it wouldn't be a bad idea if not to go traveling in the strictest sense, to go exploring. Hike the Burren or something; let your mind wander.

I have heard things like this before. Depression is a likely explanation. When people think of depression they think of people being miserable and suicidal. Apathy is the last thing they associate with it, but it is just as common a symptom and due to people not realising this it often goes undiagnosed. Talk to a GP, or even 3 of them to get more opinions. Or someone specialised in that field.

However if it is not that, you might just be viewing life as being without challenge. If you do not feel challenged you will likely feel unfulfilled and apathetic too. Everything just seems too easy so why bother? You need to challenge yourself, rather than just go for the mundane 9 to 5 life which is too easy.

Find something you were never that good at and put yourself into a situation where you are forced to do it and get good at it. If, for example, you were rubbish at languages in school then up and move to a foreign country where you have to learn the local language to survive.

There are also many projects for people of certain skills. I do not know what your skillset is but it might be worth considering for a year. Basically you go to places like Africa where they need skilled volunteers work for everything from helping build villages, farms and school, to actually working in those villages, farms and schools. Whether your skills are in business, languages, IT or whatever, they need people who can use or even teach those skills and I believe people obtain an amazing feeling of fulfilment for volunteering those skills.

Maybe you will find fulfilment by giving the chances to kids in those countries that you have but do not want to avail of. If you do not want to bother availing of the good things in your life, then maybe you will find fulfilment by allowing others to.

Two possible avenues of thought for you, I hope one helps if not both.

LegacyUser

@ Overheal: That's very interesting. Thank you for posting that.

@ taxAHcruel: Definitely you're right in what you've said, and your post has given me a lot of food for thought.

Two great posts there that have given me a lot to think about, and hopefully others who are feeling similarly at the moment. Cheers.