Meeting men

LegacyUser

Hi All, I'm use this one has been done to death, but I'm just so lost right now. I had been kinda seeing a guy who promised me the world and 6 weeks ago broke my heart, but ended it with " a girl like you shouldn't care" and this really knocked me. I know this will sound very very vain but I am very beautiful - I am a former model, something I don't ever tell ppl IRL, but it is something that causes men to treat me worse than if I were average looking.It seems there is an assumption that if you;re attractive you have no feelings and can be treated like sh1te but should be ok with it cause you have options... It's horrible but it is how it is.

I find it hard to meet men on nights out as most are to scared to come over to me, but where else can I meet guys? I've tired the hobby route but never find a guy worth spending time with.

I work and am the on the up and up in my area (even now) and am perfectly content with where I am am and have worked harder than most to get here - the only thing missing is the right guy in my life. I do get horribly lonely for that guy to sit in and watch dvds with - I don;t want or need the socialite thing or constant going out thing tho I have access to it, I'm at an age where I want to settle down now and want to find someone worth doing that with- where the hell do I find that?...

muboop1

1234unreg wrote: »

I find it hard to meet men on nights out as most are to scared to come over to me, but where else can I meet guys?

So much wrong with that sentence imo. If they don't approach you, approach them! If you are as hot as you say you are, they will think all their dreams have been answered!

Like I know your female, and in traditional times men courted women etc. But now a days its totally acceptable and normal for a girl to approach a lad. I know maybe you will be nervous etc... but so are guys! especially if you are out of their league etc...

Step up. Take responsibility for meeting the guys yourself, don't wait for them to come to you.

As for hobbies... maybe try different things? like different hobbies, or a hobby you know to be male dominated? Or gym etc... plenty of options out there!

newtothis2010

sorry to hear bout the demise of your previous rel...

to a point I'll +1 muboop1... however I have to ask, is there something you are aware that you do on nights out that make men 'scared' to come over to you?

the only way I'd be intimidated by a woman in a bar (not to approach her twice!) is if she is with her gal pals and my initial smile/hello/joke at the bar, gets that frosted over 'i really don't wanna deal with this right now' look... yeah sure sometimes its because they aren't looking, or the first impression isn't one to impress them, but on other occasions I've approached a girl, get blanked (in front of friends) and then later on in the night we'll 'randomly' bump into each other and I'll get the 'sorry for being a beech earlier, its just we're on a girls night and 'we said no men', 'we were in the middle of a conversation' 'friend broke up and we're trying to console her' type apologies, now by all means there are acceptable reasons but a simple hello back and a 'chat ya later' isn't gonna ruin the girlie night is it?

you seem pretty sincere OP and know what you want and more importantly what you dont' want.. there are plenty of guys out there who want similar and whilst the old idea of boy approaches girl, makes her keel over laughing, exchanges numbers and turns up the next day on a white steed is still a viable one and indeed I believe is the only way to woo a lady! sometimes one has to take the bit between the teeth.. then again, by doing that you'll probably be accused of being too pushy, too independent, yada yada yada...

I guess as a guy I'd say next time you're in a bar and someone looks like they are interested, embrace it (not literally! running over to hug complete strangers is frowned upon in polite society I believe!), but do enough to let him know that you aren't stitting in an ivory tower and are just a down to earth girl who's open to having a wee chat at the bar...

failing that, well since you've tried the hobby route what about internet dating? speed dating? blind dates from friends/family? even if you just made a new friend (sounds so primary school doesn't it!), it'd be surprising how widening your social circle in these ways would bring you into contact with more and more people,

its a tough auld world for guys and gals like us, but don't let it get you down.. and don't be pessimistic about the dating scene either ....

nobody ever said finding love would be easy, they just said it'd be worth it!:D

G-Money

I think I agree with others in that if you see a guy you like, why not smile and say hello. You don't have to go over with the sole intention of making him your boyfriend so don't have that in your mind as your ultimate goal. Just think of it as you being social. If you make a move and over think it too much, you will blow it. I know you will be nervous but guys have to do this all the time and I don't think we get much sympathy either so I often think girls should have to try it at least once or twice.

It's true that guys may be intimidated if you are especially attractive. For me personally I'd automatically assume that the girl either has a boyfriend, or even if she was single, she'd in no way be attracted to an average guy like myself. But then some of that is my own low self-esteem talking so it may not be applicable to every guy, but I'm sure quite a few.

You seem decent enough so that's a start. None of us have been around you in a bar so we can't tell if you're standing there, arms crossed, with a face like thunder. If so, very very few guys will approach you. If a guy see's a super attractive girl standing around looking like a cold ice maiden, he'll just assume she's stuck-up and that she wouldn't give him the time of day. So he'll never make a move. And understandably so. As I say, we don't know how you appear in bars and stuff so perhaps think about that and see if you're body language is saying "feel free to approach me" or if it's saying "F*** off and don't come near me".

That's my 2 pence worth.