Met this girl

LegacyUser

So last weekend I met this girl and she just hasn't left my head, I'm constantly thinking about her. Now we have talked over the last week by texts a few times, but I want to meet up with her again, I don't want just to become a good friends of hers but maybe ask her out later on. I never had this problem before with girls, I'm not a shy person or what not, but I just never felt about a girl this way, I usually don't care how I approach situations by asking them to hang out or go to the movies, but when I think about asking her to meet up or go out, I all of a sudden think I look desperate and don't have any friends etc.

My question really is, how can you approach a situation were you want to hang around someone and become good friends, but not look desperate such as I always send the first text. I might be a bit paranoid with this as well.

This isn't a question about how can I make her like me ether in a gf/bf type way, but I generally want to be friends with this person and hopefully something might happen, because she is great craic to hang out with as well.

seenitall

Where is Grandmaster when you need him?

OP, if you fancy this girl, nothing good will come off trying to be friends when in reality you want something more. (What I mean to say is, friendship is a lovely thing, and I am someone who is well able to be friends with someone who I fancy the pants off, HOWEVER I find myself pretty alone in this, not many people are capable of it, and men especially don't seem to take to that well - they call it the Friendzone.)

You really have to ask this girl out, it is as simple as that. I know it is difficult, because the more you like someone, the more you get jittery about a possible rejection, and the jitters tend to choke you. But it needs to be done. Take your cojones in your hand (not literally ), give her a shout and ask her out.

If she says no, you will have your answer, and please don't try to be friends with her then, in the hope of something more, eventually. From what I have read on these pages, this type of scenario only gets guys hurt and bitter somewhere down the line.

If she says yes, YAY!:) Make sure to capitalise on that on the date, no pussy-footing around your attraction, decisive action is needed. Show her how you feel about her, otherwise you may find yourself slipping into the Friendzone and you will be done for.

Good luck with it.

LegacyUser

Thanks seenitall for the adivice.

Im quite aware of the friendzone, and I would think I would be like you who can be friends with someone that I do fancy but still be friends with them without any repercussions.

I have been thinking about just rining her and asking her out, but the more I start thinking about it the more parnoid I get with thoughts such as what if she dosen't like you and were I thought I awas hitting off with her she was just being polite and I make a tit out of yourself, what if she is'nt attracted to you(plausable I am a bit on the heavy side) and you make a tit out of yourself.

And then the whole approach of actualy going up/rining her on the phone and asking her. In my past with girls and me, I never actualy rang them up and asked them out. It has always been out on nights out were something happened and we aaragned something. I know its just maturity etc, and less of night club dates and actualy real dates. But I just over think situations, were I know its simple to do just ring her up ask her if she wants to go out for dinner and maybe a movie. But then I start thinking, does she know I mean out on a date etc etc.

But then I'm thinking ok I can do all this and if it works yay, I have a chance now, but what happens if she says no. I really would like to keep her as a friend, she is just one of those people that is a great friend also. And then I'm thinking is there any way in which I can get best of both worlds were If she says no I can still be friends with her but also have that chance of asking her out. I know there is no such way and I should just go for it.

Yarghh wimmin the bane of us men

I know the overall thing I have to ask myself is, Do I like her, if yes ask her out. Its as simple as that.

seenitall

guyanon wrote: »

I know the overall thing I have to ask myself is, Do I like her, if yes ask her out. Its as simple as that.

It really is. Congratulations on arriving to that conclusion after several more paragraphs of self-analysis and hand-wringing.

At some point in your adult dating life, you will have to start getting comfortable with the idea of picking up the phone and asking a girl you like on a date. You might as well get a move on now.

HavingCrack

seenitall wrote: »

It really is. Congratulations on arriving to that conclusion after several more paragraphs of self-analysis and hand-wringing.

At some point in your adult dating life, you will have to start getting comfortable with the idea of picking up the phone and asking a girl you like on a date. You might as well get a move on now.

Excellent advice in both your posts seenitall.

LegacyUser

guyanon wrote: »

ring her up ask her if she wants to go out for dinner and maybe a movie. But then I start thinking, does she know I mean out on a date etc etc.

How can I emphises this part though? I have gone out on dinner and a movie with girls who arwe freinds befor. How can i make it so Im really asking her out.

karaokeman

Just ask her out the next time you see her. (not by text message because that would increase your chances of rejection)

And don't listen to all this rubbish about the "friend zone". Most girls I know would never "put" a good lad there. Think about if it was a girl approaching you. Would you

want to "put" her in a zone where she can never be your girlfriend. The answer is no, and the friend zone is just a myth.

If she says no, by all means do try and be friends with her. It can be worse if you don't see the girl at all.

If she says yes, then that's great. Next thing to do will be to plan the first date.

dublingal80

ask her out!

stop beating around the bush by thinking she is only going to think that its "friends". Any time i have met a guy and given him my number and i have been asked out, it never once was just as friends

go out for dinner, go out for drinks, whatever you prefer but just be honest with her. Have a great night with her but tell her how gorgeous she looks, how you were really looking forward to seeing her... she will know that you fancy her

Just do it!

kjl

guyanon wrote: »

How can I emphises this part though? I have gone out on dinner and a movie with girls who arwe freinds befor. How can i make it so Im really asking her out.

at the end of asking her you say "you know, like a date"