I didn't expect it to be this hard.....

LegacyUser

Hey everyone, long time poster here going unregged as a lot of people know who I am.

I'm posting because I finished up in my job today, and I'm feeling really really down about it. It's been a really tough year, and I have wanted to get out of it, but I wanted it to be on my terms, not on redundancy terms. Plus while I wanted to move on, I have met some great people there, whom I'll really miss. I've been working there for several years now.

I've no other job lined up, and I really don't know where to turn to next. I've got lots of different plans of what I'd like to do, but right now I'm paralysed by indecision and just plain upset. It's nearly like a detox - one day I'm spending 10 hours a day with these people, then all of a sudden, it's been cut off and I never see them again.

I suppose I just wanted to know how people cope with being made redundant. I feel really worried that I'm only just out the door of my workplace and already I'm down in the dumps. We've known about it for quite some time now, so I had time to adjust to it and be as positive as possible, but right now it just feels like the entire world is grey and I'll never be happy again (the weather doesn't help!). I don't think I've anything left in me to cry at this stage. To be fair, I'm not worried about money or anything, because I've made sure I'm covered in the event of something like this (savings, insurance for mortgage etc), but I didn't expect it to be such a shock to my system. I just wish I knew where the next job was coming from...where the next paycheck was coming from. I feel like I've lost a whole social network, some really great people and I just don't know what to do.

Is there anyone else out there that can understand how I'm feeling? I know it sounds stupid, but I really can't bear the thought of sitting by myself waiting for my OH to come home everyday. I'm willing to go out volunteering and everything, but I just feel so bad at the moment, and so upset.

I just don't understand why life has to be so hard sometimes....

belongtojazz

Oh I do feel for you. I am in the process of being made redundant from my job and I have known about it since Febuary this year (I agreed to stay on longer and complete the project i've been working on) Even though I have been expecting it and I have plans of sorts in place (i'm moving back home to Ireland the week after I leave) I know that leaving there is going to be a huge change and that I am going to feel blinking awful. I have been in this job for 10 years
I think you are going through a form of grieving! your job has been a huge part of your life. People define you through your career and you have a big social network and now it seems that that is gone.
You need to acknowledge that this sensation is similar to a berevment and allow yourself time to grieve, but don't wallow in it. You haven't mentioned anything about any other job, are you planning on trying to get another job, if so that can be your new 'job'. I have read on here about people who work the full office hours on the hunt for a new job. If you aren't planning on returning to work there is a lot of organisations needing volunteers and that will help you fel fulfilled and it will rebuild the social/support network.
Best of luck and please don't get to downhearted

AngryBadger

belongtojazz has made some excellent points OP; our jobs tend to give our lives shape, and often a sense of purpose and self, as well as the whole social element of people you work and socialise with on a daily basis.

The only thing I'd add is maybe try to put this out of your head for the weekend, you've been anticipating finishing work for a while now, but you've made provisions for yourself already, so I'd suggest taking the weekend and trying to relax.

Go out and do what you'd normally do on a weekend, treat yourself, meet your friends, forget about this until Monday. Then come back to it with a fresh pair of eyes and I'd bet good money things will look better.

LegacyUser

OP here.Thanks for your replies guys. Yes I will most definitely be devoting as much time as possible to job hunting, it's the number 1 priority. I'm thinking about doing a masters aswell you see, or getting further qualifications in my field, and I just finally have the time to do it - that's what I meant when I said I don't really know where to turn next, but top of the list is job hunting. I plan to fill the days with as much as possible - I don't really go for the whole sitting in front of the TV thing.

It's just that yesterday hit me much harder than I expected it to. I didn't think it would affect me so much. It is actually a form of bereavement, as you say belongtojazz. I do have loads of friends outside work, but that's a whole element of my life that's now just cut off. A huge element I might add, as the days were long, and there's just so many people there that I'll probably not see again ever. I might add that the good days were really good, and they made up for the truly awful bad days in there! (as jobs go, it was a bit different).

Thanks for your help anyway, I feel a bit better today. Although if the sun would just shine I'd feel much better I think! Still it's very hard, and I think it'll take me a long time to get over it. Good luck to you belongtojazz, it will be as hard as you expect it to be. I hope it works out for you though.

LegacyUser

Hi OP

I'm sorry to hear this, it sounds very similar to what I went through last year. All I seemed to do was work and then home to make dinner/bed! I spent more time with one person in work than others and it seemed like I spent more time with him than I did with my own bf!

So it nearly felt like a breakup when I finished if you know what I mean?!

Took me a few weeks to get over it too so don't worry too much about it, time is a healer as they say!

LegacyUser

Thanks everyone. Trying to feel okay about this, but very worried about what it will feel like not to be getting up tomorrow, I was talking to a friend who's in a similar position yesterday...at least I know I'm not the only one. Next step is trying to find my way around the social welfare system, I'm definitely not looking forward to it.

I know I'm one of 450,000 (!) but it's nice to know I'm not the only one who find it emotionally hard, as much as financially.