Dreading Birth!!

Bubbles09

I'm expecting my third child and I'm dreading the birth..

I was hoping to have a c section for this birth but doctors are advising against as I'll heal better from normal delivery etc.

I previously had a c section on my son 20 months ago but when I gave birth to my daughter at just 17 it was a very traumatic experience.

Its just I don't know what to expect and am probably expecting the worst.

I've heard of women having babies pain free within 30 minutes too and don't know what pain method to go for if I don't have a section as this can effect the baby too.

Also I have youtubed it and my partner does not fancy accompanying me as its a very grusome sight even if it is the most natural and wonderful thing in the world.

What to do??

KittyeeTrix

Hey Bubs......
First off, stop worrying love. The 1st birth is often the most traumatic as ye don't have a clue as to what is really coming next. Also the body and muscles in the uterus have never done this job before and so the process is usually a more drawn out affair.

From personal experience my 1st birth was short (4 hrs) but traumatic as I had an epidural and babies heart went into distress. This led to a vacuum extraction and a huge episiotomy. To cut a long story short my next 3 births were also 3-4 hours long but without epidurals as I felt I didn't need them and to be honest I had no issues pushing because of the lack of an epi. 2 of them were completely natural i.e no entonox or pethidine and they were grand. No episiotomies were needed but on my 4th child I had a natural tear as he was over 9lbs and I was only tiny at about 8st. Even then I was grand..
In short, please don't hold too much stock in your previous traumatic birth experience being repeated!!!:)

Bubbles09

my 1st birth lasted over 24 hours but I stayed at home for 12 of them b4 going to hosp..

I had epidural which wore off by the time the baby was coming and i also had episiotomy (which I felt!! OUCH!!) and vaccum which is the reason I'm dreading this birth.. I really don't want to have the epidural this time as it really slowed down my 1st labour but is the pethidine any good or will it harm the baby?

I can have a section if i want to but I know I'll be in agony after it for weeks with a big scar which I would like to try and avoid..

lynski

I had a traumatic induction led labor with my son 3.5 yrs ago, ending in an emergency section and an infection keeping me in hospital for 9 days.
So on pg no 2, i was apprehensive. Then i started the gentlebirth home cd pack about 6-7 weeks before edd. what follows is a long enough post on my second labor, but it boils down to this, get the cds, listen to them and it worked for me so it could work for anyone. a c section is such a horrible experience and it took me a year to recover from mine.
here goes: My labour started on sat morning, very light contractions, but regular, as the day went i knew it was the day so lined up the childcare for my son and met my acupuncturist for some help. after a relaxing hour with her i went for a bath and had a show. we took our time, contractions were still increasing but still manageable. off to the hospital about 9pm, stopped for a pizza for hubbie, and hit the hospital ready to go.
Oh no, not to be - not dilated, hunnie sent home and at 11pm i was in the ward. on with the gentle birth tracks on my phone, some light sleep, and by 2am back to the delivery suite labor in progress. concentrated on gas and air and took some time to get into the visualisation techniques.
As i was still not very dilated decided about 4am i want an epi as i did not want to get exhausted. waters broke and an hour of intense, but fewer contractions, good relaxing visualisation, by the time the doc arrived to do epi, i was pushing, and my daughter arrived in posterior position at 6:30pm. 4.5 hrs of full labor, tough, but manageable.
the mantra of 'i can do anything for 1 minute' got me through.

Quackles

Seriously, I've had two natural births and the first was scary too, but the second was soooooo much easier! And it was an induction! With no epidural You'll be just fine, petal!

foxy06

Your going to be dreading it either way. There is no way you can tell whats going to happen and how it will go. What you do have is experiences of both births though. The first is always the hardest as your body hasn't done this before and as you were very young you probably found it very traumatic emotionally. This birth, if you decide to have vaginal birth, will probably be a lot less traumatic. Either way by the time the birth comes around you will probably be only delighted to get that baby out! I know I was on all my births. I had epidural on first but nothing on last two and glad I didn't. Theres a lot to be said for hopping out of the bed an hour or two after the birth. The pain is horrendous as you know but if you can manage it and cope without epi you will be delighted you did after. Never had a section but personally I wouldn't ever choose to have it by choice. I'd imagine recovery time would be long and painful. Either way you need to relax as your previous experiences will probably be nothing like this one.

All the best

Bubbles09

Thanks for your comments - the epidural really slows down the birth like doesn't it.. So you're better off not going there. Has anyone ever had pethidine & did they think it helped any bit?

Everytime I think of the birth I just keep remembering the pain of the birth of my daughter and being able to feel the episiotomy and stitching.

I am getting really big in my final few weeks and this is worrying me about the birth too as my daughter weighed 7-4.

Stressing isn't good either! :eek: My poor Mary Poppins!!

crazy cat lady

Literature suggests that an epidural slows a labour by about half an hour. How true this is I don't know. It certainly didn't slow it down for me!

I think if I hadn't had the epidural, I would've been quite traumatised by the birth of my lil lady. Like you, she was distressed and I needed a vacuum delivery. Don't write off having an epidural because you are afraid of it slowing down the labour. Your own anxieties and being stressed worrying about a repeat of your first labour will slow down your labour more than any pain relief!

Pethidine will not take away the pain of labour but it will take the edge off and help you to relax between contractions. It does cross the placenta and can make your baby sleepy at birth. I have seen situations where pethidine has been given to women in pre-labour, and the relaxing effect of it somehow helps the cervix to relax and dilate - not sure you'll find any research to back this up, I can only go on experience.

As for getting and feeling really big, this could just be because its your third child and your tummy muscles just aren't what they used to be! They don't hold your growing bump in as well as they would've before, especially after a section the last time! Your bump size may well be because of fluid around a nice petite baby. And done be surprised if babs doesn't engage until very late.

Try and relax and use your time now to consider your options. If you decide to go for a VBAc, talk to your midwife about your concerns and I'm sure she'll do all she can to make the birth a memorable event for all the right reasons.

Good luck x

foxy06

You won't be as likely to need stiiches or at least as many on your second vaginal delivery.

wmpdd3

OP why didn't they give you a local anesthetic before the episiotomy?

Bubbles09

I suppose I'll just get the epidural and drag my partner into the labour ward with me!! No ifs or buts!!

I made him promise he'll never do this to me again.. MEN! They must think there's nothing to it! :mad:

I don't know why I am so nervous having 2 kids already like..

I've an appointment on Wednesday and have to give in my birth plan..

My aunt is due a month after me and she is alot bigger so I don't feel too bad after seeing her bump! :eek:

How do you know when the epidural should be topped up??
Don't want it wearing off again.. Or should the midwife know??

crazy cat lady

You'll have a boost button so you can top up the epidural yourself.

If you feel its wearing off and the boost button isn't working as well for you, you will be assessed by the midwife to see how you are progressing. If you are close to delivery, they may leave you to have the baby without a top up. If you still have a bit of time to go the anaesthatist may be called to giv you a top-up.

Even if the epidural is working perfectly, you may still feel an increase in pressure as the baby moves further down the birth canal, which alot of women don't realise will happen and confuse this for the epidural wearing off. The effectiveness of the epidural can be assessed by the 'ice cube test' where the midwife will see how much you can feel the coldness of ice on your limbs and belly.

I'm sure you'll be fine. Make sure you discuss your birth plan and also make sure your midwife is aware of it when you are admitted in labour

Grawns

Just to let you know you have a 1 in 4 chance of ending up with a section after labour anyway. That is the current success rate for a vbac after 1 c- section. You need to discuss your fears with your doctor so that you are prepared for all eventualities. After two eventful births I am not surprised you are nervous.

Cat Melodeon

+ 1million on the gentlebirth cds. I am not one for hippy nonsense but these CDs transformed me from a nervous mess into being able to cope well before and during the birth. There is a whole section on 'fear release' which is excellent if you have had previous birth trauma and the relaxation tracks are a lovely way to chill out for half an hour. PM me if you want more info on them.

I had gas and air for my birth and did ask for the epidural about an hour and a half in, but things were moving too quickly and he was born about an hour after that. I was delighted afterwards that I didn't get the epi as the whole thing flew by. I was in some very odd positions while pushing bubs out which I wouldn't have been able to do had I taken the epidural. Do insist on a local anesthetic should you need stitches afterwards though. For me, that was the worst part of the whole thing and I insisted on the doc giving me 3 shots of local and letting me back on the gas & air. He wasn't exactly in a position to refuse, my lady bits were very angry at that point and these thighs could crush rocks!

lynski

have a look on rollercoaster for more info on the gentle birth and you are not too late to start.
http://www.rollercoaster.ie/boards/forum.asp?GroupID=18&forumdb=1
http://www.changeyourmind.ie/ for the cds etc.

Bubbles09

Hey all just thought I'd update ye, I gave birth to a heafty 9 lbs 1 oz baby boy on monday 23rd I was in labour for 12 hours I got the pethidine did nothing for me begged for epidural and got that the baby was facing outwards which is awkwardest way for head to engaged as it wasn't already engaged and I was dialating anymore past 7cm so after I got epidural they decided on giving me a section (THANK GOD!!!).. I called him Alex.. Thanks for all your advice and I'm so glad to have it over with.. I know we all say it but NEVER AGAIN!!! :eek:

crazy cat lady

Congratulations

angelfire9

I had a HORRIBLE labour with no. 1
Was in labour from 10am to 7pm
Hubby was late
Had to get my parents to bring me to the hospital
Was on my own for the whole thing until hubby arrived at 6.30pm!
Had gas which made me sick and 1 pethadine inj. at 4pm so effectively I had no pain relief when it mattered!!
Ended up with a 3rd degree tear which had to be stitched under anesthetic so i ended up with an epidural AFTER the birth!

I am trying SO hard not to think about the labour aspect of being pregnant again