first time woes

purplepixie

Hi all,
Any help would be really appreciated. Last summer me and two girlfriends went for a girlie weekend away. Long story short met a gorgeous barman, swapped numbers but never kissed as i was well intoxicated. Since then about 9 months ago we started textin he said i was his ideal girl etc. I was very sceptical as he is gorgeous and a real cassanove and I live 3 hours away while he could have anyone he wanted for a fact. Anyway i reluctantly agreed to see where things go as i was worried I'd really fall for him and get really hurt, indeed this is what happened we spent two lovely weekends together but never slept together but did everything but... i then received a message from him sayin he liked me so much that he couldnt bare the distance so we couldn't be together I was devastated and within a few days saw on his facebook he was with someone else. Needless to say i deleted number, facebook etc. and forgot about him but about two months back he got in touch its all off with the girlfriend and he is so sorry blah blah blah... he has been very honest he doesnt want a relationship but wants to be friends and maybe friends with benefits but nothin im not comfortable with and he is genuine in that way. I spent last weekend with him it was brilliant, chatted laughed, kissed etc. but still didnt sleep with him as I am a virgin. I am 21 outgoing, fun and attractive but just have never found someone i want to give myself to. But am very tempted to sleep with this guy he is really nice when were together and absolutely incredible. But will i want more after sex? and he isnt willing to give that will i just get hurt? is it a bad idea for my first time to be a no strings affair?
Sorry for long post in desperate need of help thanks to those who you have took the time to read this.

Adam

chances are you wont spend the rest of your life with the first person you sleep with regardless. but he's just after the ride to be bluntly irish about it. so you decide if that's what you want, otherwise leave a sleeping dog with blue balls ^_^

422nd

In my opinion sex should only be shared within a reliable, long-lasting relationship.

Also, I do understand his issue with distance but it's not something to end a relationship over if he really likes you. My girlfriend of seven months lives two hours away, as did my ex who I was with for 11 months.

Friends with benefits? His way of getting no-strings-attached sex. But if you don't mind that then go for it. But if you were devastated by the last break up because you couldn't keep your feelings from rushing in head first then I'd avoid him if I were you. If he can get any girl and he chose you for a while then I'm sure you can get your fair share of nice guys too. So no, I wouldn't resort to this if I were you.

Giblet

He wants you for sex, that's all. If you are prepared to deal with that, and the fact he'll be with other girls, then go for it.

Bottle_of_Smoke

Don't do it. You're clearly mad about him and he doesn't feel the same. I'd say the same if you weren't a virgin.