One Night Stand

deniseryan

so i finally did it, never had one before and i found it very liberating. i have had 4 partners previously. as luck would have it my ex has asked me back and i am considering it. should i tell him, we were on a break but maybe he will be upset. any opinions??

Emme

deniseryan wrote: »

so i finally did it, never had one before and i found it very liberating. i have had 4 partners previously. as luck would have it my ex has asked me back and i am considering it. should i tell him, we were on a break but maybe he will be upset. any opinions??

I hope you were sensible enough to use protection. By all means tell your ex about your little encounter, but don't expect to be upset if he tells you he was with about 20 girls when you were on your break.:rolleyes:

Seriously, if you want to go back with your ex and want it to work I WOULDN'T say anything.

Beruthiel

deniseryan wrote: »

my ex has asked me back and i am considering it. should i tell him, we were on a break but maybe he will be upset. any opinions??

You were not together. What you do while single is your own business.
I've never gotten this need to discuss your past sex life with an existing partner. I consider it vulgar.
I'm probably old fashioned for that though.

dublingal80

dont tell him

Big deal, you had sex while you and your oh werent together. God knows what he has done. he has probably had sex too.

You didnt cheat on him, you werent together. So if you do want to get back with him, dont tell him. there is no need to

carmel27

No. Why should you? You werent together when it happened, therefore you didnt do anything wrong and I dont think you owe him any explanation. Its your own business.

Miss Fluff

Totally agree with Beruthiel. It is vulgar and why people feel so compelled to go through the ins and outs of their sexual past with a partner is beyond me!! The amount of threads from devastated posters on Boards on a daily basis because they blabbed or their partner blabbed about past sexual encounters.....

Very simple rule of thumb....Don't ask if you can't handle the truth and don't tell if your partner can't. As long as you were protected, it really is nobody else's business and to discuss it is just crass......

To the OP - you were on a break. Keep your mouth shut about it.

LegacyUser

I'm going to play devils advocate, if you have not used protection which judging by how conscientius you sound I doubt you haven't, then I would tell him. Otherwise it's up to you really if it was me personally, i'd have to tell him. I've been on the flip side recently where my ex has been stringing me along about getting back together and had not told me he had slept with a girl(s), and now I don't know if he was careful because he doesn't even have the decency to tell me to let me get closure and know he hasn't caught anything and move on with my life. It's a horrible feeling.

deniseryan

yes i used protection, and actually the bloke didnt come because i stopped it, didnt feel right

Emme

deniseryan wrote: »

yes i used protection, and actually the bloke didnt come because i stopped it, didnt feel right

I'm glad you used protection but there's no need for any more gory details. Poor guy - you said the experience was liberating for you, but I don't think it was for him! :rolleyes:

I really think that you should observe the rule "silence is golden" in this case. You didn't cheat on anyone as you were on a break and if you want to make a go of it with your ex the less said the better.

ApeXaviour

Beruthiel wrote: »

You were not together. What you do while single is your own business.
I've never gotten this need to discuss your past sex life with an existing partner. I consider it vulgar.
I'm probably old fashioned for that though.

I agree but
I wouldn't call it vulger... once you're clean (been tested) it shouldn't matter an iota. Fair play to those couples who are mature enough to (tactfully) divulge all without letting it affect their relationship. It's certainly not necessary to do so though!

Wagon

deniseryan wrote: »

so i finally did it, never had one before and i found it very liberating. i have had 4 partners previously. as luck would have it my ex has asked me back and i am considering it. should i tell him, we were on a break but maybe he will be upset. any opinions??

It depends.

If you asked for the break to clear your head, and then you went and slept with someone else, you should tell him. It would mean your reason for the break is because you wanted to shag a different person and breaks like that spell bad news. He might have been thinking it was for completely different reasons. I'm putting myself in his shoes in this possibiity and it would definately make me question if the relationship is worth staying in. Even though you can do what you want and it's none of his business, if you were on a break, he's still on the scene and has a right to know where the relationship stands. Hiding it from him is a bad idea.

If however, HE asked for the break, well then it was his decision and you can do what you feel like .ie. dont tell him if you don't want to.

G-Money

I don't know why you'd want to tell him. If you two were finished and properly broken up then telling him you had a ONS sort of comes across like an attempt to rub it in and make him jealous.

If you two weren't really broken up and were still together, then that's a completely different situation.

dsmythy

grandmaster wrote: »

I don't know why you'd want to tell him. If you two were finished and properly broken up then telling him you had a ONS sort of comes across like an attempt to rub it in and make him jealous.

If you two weren't really broken up and were still together, then that's a completely different situation.

Whoa there they were on a "break". Not broken up. As happens being on a break means you can do what you wish as though you've broken up so I'd also advise the OP to just not tell him and good luck.