Why cant life be so easy

LegacyUser

Hi all found out two weeks ago that my long term G-Friend is pregnant. To say one was shocked is an understatement but life go's on. And i've started to come around to the idea.

The only problem is i was let go last year, Although where not on the bread line i have found it hard to find alternative work.

I always wanted to join the Irish Defence Force's and June just gone i got my chance stuck my name down and have the start of my tests this coming Friday. This is all in doubt now that my misses is pregnant. I don't want to be a part time father but yet i still want to have a career and at something a really enjoy (I'm not a 9-5 man) i no i will be away for a couple of weeks on end and i no this isn't fare on my partner. It would be are first child so i don't want her to do it alone. This is starting to get to me no end.

Any tips advice welcome

Apologies if i have posted this in the wrong section

Victor

While there may be some recruitemnt this year, large numbers going overseas is unlikely for the next few years. Yes, there will be 24 hour duties and times away, but to be honest income security is probably more important now.

jurgenscarl

Have you considered encouraging your girlfriend to have an abortion?
Bringing up a kid when you haven't a job while she is going to be minding the kid and unable to work is ridiculous in this recession.
You can have a kid some other time when times are more financially secure.
Lot's of women have abortions every year because they can't bring up the kid.
It's no big deal.

enviro

Having no job is not an excuse to have an abortion.

Edit: news flash! Abortion is a big deal. It is not a switch you just turn off, you do have to live with the consequences

toadfly

jurgenscarl wrote: »

Have you considered encouraging your girlfriend to have an abortion?
Bringing up a kid when you haven't a job while she is going to be minding the kid and unable to work is ridiculous in this recession.
You can have a kid some other time when times are more financially secure.
Lot's of women have abortions every year because they can't bring up the kid.
It's no big deal.

I really cant believe you said that.

OP talk to your GF, see what she wants and support her as much as you can.

Good luck.

_Kaiser_

jurgenscarl wrote: »

Have you considered encouraging your girlfriend to have an abortion?
Bringing up a kid when you haven't a job while she is going to be minding the kid and unable to work is ridiculous in this recession.
You can have a kid some other time when times are more financially secure.
Lot's of women have abortions every year because they can't bring up the kid.
It's no big deal.

I'd imagine this will prompt all sorts of outrage here later (EDIT: I see it already has!)... not from me - I firmly believe that every situation is different and a decision like this depends a lot on the circumstances, ages, and opinion of both parties involved. In my opinion there is no one size fits all answer to that question.

OP: In fairness to you, you sound like you genuinely want to do the right thing here, and I completely understand you wanting to make a career out of this, but you need to think of the welfare of your girlfriend and child first.

If the distance/time away is something you/your girlfriend can't handle, can you defer your application for a year, or apply again next year?
That said, Victor is right that job/financial stability and security is a big issue but you'll need to discuss it with your girlfriend and see what you could both live with.
Could you manage financially if you didn't take it, etc?

Best of luck either way OP...

LegacyUser

Hi all thanks for the comments had a think about this and decided to pull the plug.
Being are first child i need to be there to support her and help her. Ill just have to look back and say it wasn't to be.

op abortion wasn't an option you do the deed you except the consequences. Though the man is entitled to his opinion.

Thanks for the input all the same.

Eve_Dublin

wmca wrote: »

Hi all thanks for the comments had a think about this and decided to pull the plug.
Being are first child i need to be there to support her and help her. Ill just have to look back and say it wasn't to be.

op abortion wasn't an option you do the deed you except the consequences. Though the man is entitled to his opinion.

Thanks for the input all the same.

You sound like a decent guy and fair play to you. You´ve taken the decision you felt was right and you´ve sacrificed something you wanted to do for your girlfriend and your baby....I´ve no doubt in my mind you´re going to make a great dad. Congratulations! It´ll all work out for the best and maybe you can pursue your dream in a few years. There´s no rush OP.

Nevyn

If you are worried about the the unplanned pregnancy there is help and resources.
www.postiveoptions.ie the unplanned pregnancy counselling does cover continuing the pregnancy ( as well as other options if you wish) and you can be put in touch with all the help there is out there and all the information you need to access that.

It can be a shock but I do hope you will be able to work through this together, but some times life is what happens when we make other plans and we find ourselves going down a road we never expected.
That doesn't mean parents dont' look back and wonder from time to time but all parents do it.