Shocked at myself for what I did

LegacyUser

I did a terrible thing a few days ago. After a party I slept with a friend who has been another friend's boyfriend for nearly a year. I can't remember how the situation arose or what I was thinking at all because I had drunk so much, as had he... it's a ****ty excuse, I know, but I sincerely don't remember a thing about it. My friend decided to tell his girlfriend, which I agreed with, who is also my friend, and so she is obviously feeling extremely hurt by it all.

The thing is, these are people who I would have considered to be good friends of mine, and now I will never hear from them again. I can't understand the reasoning behind what posessed me to betray a close friend like the way I have. I will lose a huge amount of my friends over this and on top of that, I have destroyed the relationship between two people that I really thought I cared for. And she is an amazing person and certainly doesn't deserve to feel anything remotely this painful.

I have never done anything like this before and am still fairly shocked at myself... the question I keep asking myself is that if I can do this to people that I care about then what kind of a person am I?
I'm so disappointed and really don't know what to do with myself.

Not really sure what I'm looking for here. Has anyone ever done anything so stupid? And if so, how did you deal with it?

Any help is hugely appreciated.
Thanks.

Jessiegirl

We all do stupid things especially when drunk.

The solution is not to drink yourself in to oblivion if there is a possibility you might do the same again. It's unlikely you would have done it without so much drink taken perhaps.

jurgenscarl

You shouldn't have drunk so much.
Alcohol lowers your inhibitions and shuts down rational decision making.
You slept with this guy because your sexual instincts were no longer under your control.

But that is no excuse as you now know to your cost.

The best thing you can do for yourself going forward is to give up alcohol.

katie99

Apologise profusely to your girlfriend for what you did. Ask her to forgive you and tell her you are really, really sorry. You seem genuine and contrite.
There might be some tears on your part but so be it.
Keep your drinking under control next time.
You don't say whether you made love to the guy or just slept with him.
Which was it?

LegacyUser

katie99 wrote: »

Apologise profusely to your girlfriend for what you did. Ask her to forgive you and tell her you are really, really sorry. You seem genuine and contrite.
There might be some tears on your part but so be it.
Keep your drinking under control next time.
You don't say whether you made love to the guy or just slept with him.
Which was it?

I mightn't have been clear in my first post- I don't have a girlfriend. I'm a girl and I slept with my friend who is a boy, and he has a girlfriend who is also a friend of mine. She has made it clear that she does not want to remain friends with me understandably so I want to respect that.

It wasn't full-on sex but there was something, as I've said I can't even remember it in detail.

Ive already decided that I'll never allow myself to drink that much again. I just don't know what steps to take now.

LegacyUser

Thanks for the replies so far.
I know I wasn't in control when I did what I did but I still don't feel like I can blame the alcohol as it was my choice to drink so much. I just don't know how to deal with this feeling of causing someone so close to me so much pain. I've never ever considered myself as being capable of doing something as bad as this, until now, and I'm terrified.

greengiant09

you certainly did make a big fock-up...theres no doubting that but you can't change the past so you need to move on. the only productive thing you can do is ensure it never happens again. can't really see your friend ever forgiving you and she's fully entitled not to so i'd leave her be. a harsh lesson learned but you won't be making it again....

Ickle Magoo

Hey OP,

I'm afraid I don't think there is a lot you can do bar learn from this and not repeat the mistake. If you friend doesn't want to know you and neither does her fella that you were fooling around with, then move on, find some other friends and stop kicking yourself so much - takes two to tangle, it wasn't just you at fault.

Miss Fluff

Did you use protection OP?

You can't undo the damage you have caused unfortunately but you can learn from it. A harsh lesson granted, but a lesson nonetheless.

You do seriously need to address your drinking or drug-intake if it resulted in you engaging in such reckless carry-on though.