Feelings for people you dated?

Elessar

Can some of you here tell me, if you dated a person for a while and had feelings for them, but it didn't work out because you weren't compatible or whatever, do you still have feelings for them, or did they just switch off completely?

I dated a girl for a while (in same social circle), we both had feelings for each other, but long story short she led me on after a while and we are no longer dating. Whether her feelings for me vanished overnight or not I don't know.

I guess what I'm asking is, did your feelings for someone you dated briefly disappear suddenly or are they still there, somewhere deep inside? I'm mainly talking more about friends who date and still see each other.

Ickle Magoo

I've dated people and realised that although there may have been an initial attraction, getting to know them better has made me realise we are incompatible as long-term partners...

It's usually the way of things, people fancy each other a bit even tho they don't really know each other intimately and then they date for a bit, getting to know each other and to see if the attraction dissipates, lasts or even grows to make a relationship worth embarking on. I wouldn't take it to heart - the majority of people we are attracted to wouldn't make for great longer-term relationships.

dublingal80

it depends on the person and the relationship

If it was someone i was only seeing for a month or two, and if i knew it wasnt working out and i ended it, yeah, i could move on fairly quickly because i was the one who wasnt happy and i knew i was going to end it

If it was vice versa and after a few months they dumped me id be a little.. hmm, where did that go wrong, but i would get over it fairly quickly as it wasnt a proper relaitonship

Im recently split from my ex. him doing the dumping. He said all the nice things at the timet hat you think you would wanna hear, like he still lvoes me, we will always be friends blah blah blah but he hasnt done anything to try and be a friend,a nd it does hurt. its like, how can he just switch off like that, but just different people i guess

LegacyUser

dublingal80 wrote: »

Im recently split from my ex. him doing the dumping. He said all the nice things at the timet hat you think you would wanna hear, like he still lvoes me, we will always be friends blah blah blah but he hasnt done anything to try and be a friend,a nd it does hurt. its like, how can he just switch off like that, but just different people i guess

People don't just switch off - they have decided to split up with you a while before they do, maybe give it a few chances but by the time they break up, they've gone through the mourning process of a relationship have been through the break up in their head already.

I split up with someone 2 months back - we hang in the same social circle and by the time we split it was a big relief to me... I'd wanted to do it a couple of weeks earlier but the timing wasn't right. By the time I told them, my mind was already into being broken up (not to say that it wasn't very tough as the OH is the nicest most genuine person I know).

I still have feelings for them (but I don't want to get back with them).

Thing is, if I didn't have to see them, I wouldn't for a while so that they could get over me quicker. That sounds a bit egoistic but they do still like me. Distance is what is needed so if your ex wants to do the friends thing, maybe he does, but not now.

fungun

Id say my feeling for some ex-partners has evolved into affection.