Horrific lyrics?

jackinyogrill

I'd wager that there's probably been a thread on this subject here before, but something just popped into my head and I think these things are good for a giggle.

What are the worst lyrics you've ever heard? To paraphrase Bernard Black, rhymes that made you "vomit into your own scorn"?

Here's my favourite howler, from 'Tired of Me' by Live:

"Hope is the letter that never arrives, delivered by the postman of my fear."

Makes me laugh my arse off every time

StereoLove

That's a good one!!:D

Hexagrams

""I am," I said
To no one there
An no one heard at all
Not even the chair"

I Am I Said, Neil Diamond.

One of my faves

Sparki

In fairness, there are a lot of dodgy lyrics in the charts these days!!

Heard the new boyzone song yest and thought it was particularly dreadful:

"Its's like one step forward and two steps back
Cause love is like a hurricane"

What!? that makes no sense!


And also:


"Butterflies I want to keep
I try to laugh but I just weep"



So bad! As long as it rhymes they will sing it....

*sigh of exasperation*

randomuser77

My all time favourite (is that the right word?) is the first verse of Life by Des'ree:

"I'm afraid of the dark
Especially when I'm in a park
And there's no one else around,
Oh I get the shivers.
I don't want to see a ghost,
It's the sight that I fear most
I'd rather have a piece of toast
And watch the evening news."

gavitron22

i hated that rip off of sweet home alabama by kid rock, the lyrics weren't horrifically bad (like those ones....) but he rhythmes "things" with "things" about three times! it's so god damn poetically and aesthetically incorrect! AH!! :mad:

Caught

My Mam HATES the lyrics in Beat Again by JLS that go:

If I die, yeah
Would you come to my funeral?
Would you cry?

:L

On the other hand, she loves the lyrics in a Bell X1 song that go:

You're like the chocolate at the end of my
Cornetto

Colm!

randomuser77 wrote: »

My all time favourite (is that the right word?) is the first verse of Life by Des'ree:

"I'm afraid of the dark
Especially when I'm in a park
And there's no one else around,
Oh I get the shivers.
I don't want to see a ghost,
It's the sight that I fear most
I'd rather have a piece of toast
And watch the evening news."

This, a million times, this

ttoppcat

randomuser77 wrote: »

My all time favourite (is that the right word?) is the first verse of Life by Des'ree:

"I'm afraid of the dark
Especially when I'm in a park
And there's no one else around,
Oh I get the shivers.
I don't want to see a ghost,
It's the sight that I fear most
I'd rather have a piece of toast
And watch the evening news."

that one ALWAYS pee'd me off too...especially the piece of toast bit:rolleyes:

daz801

With the lights out, it's less dangerous
Here we are now, entertain us
I feel stupid and contagious
Here we are now, entertain us

A mulatto, an albino
A mosquito, my libido
Yeah, hey, yay

Smells like teen spirit - Nirvana

Dudess

I don't think these lyrics are horrific but they make me laugh - they're just too ridiculous, and have the hallmarks of "what rhymes with that word? Oh yeah, that'll do..." I still like them though. Probably substance-influenced too, in fairness:

Well she's my woman of gold
And she's not very old - a ha ha
Well she's my woman of gold
And she's not very old - a ha ha
I don't mean to be bold, a-but a-may I hold your hand?

Well she ain't no witch and I love the way she twitch - a ha ha
Well she ain't no witch and I love the way she twitch - a ha ha
I'm a labourer of love in my persian gloves - a ha ha

Well she's faster than most and she lives on the coast - a ha ha

(T-Rex - Hot Love)


Some of these just make me cringe, even if the song is fantastic. Not because I think they're sexist, just embarrassing - especially the last line... :eek:

strolling along minding my own buisness
well there goes a girl and a half
she's got me going up and down
she's got me going up and down

walking on the beaches looking at the peaches

well i got the notion girl that you got some suntan lotion in that bottle of yours
spread it all over my peelin' skin baby
that feels real good
all this skirt lappin' up the sun
lap me up
why don't you come on and
lap me up

walking on the beaches looking at the peaches

well there goes another one just lying down on the sand dunes
i'd better go take a swim and see if i can cool down a little bit
coz you and me woman
we got a lotta things on our minds (you know what i mean)

walking on the beaches looking at the peaches

will you just take a look over there (where?) there
is she tryin' to get outta that clitares?
liberation for women
thats what i preach
preacher man

walking on the beaches looking at the peaches

oh ****
there goes the charabang
looks like im gonna be stuck here the whole summer
well what a bummer
i can think of a lot worse places to be
like down in the streets
or down in the sewer
or even on the end of a skewer

(The Stranglers - Peaches)

MilanPan!c

Rollercoaster of love
Say what?
Rollercoaster,
yeah (ooh ooh, ooh ooh)
Rollercoaster
Love rollercoaster, child
Lovin' you is really wild
Love love love love love love love love love love
Rollercoaster,
uhuh (ooh ooh, ooh ooh)

Caught

All the Small Things:

Keep your head still
I'll be your thrill
Tonight is the night
My little windmill?

Latchy

A classic BB song spoiled a little by some naff lyrics

Dont Worry Baby

I guess I should've kept my mouth shut
When I started to brag about my car
But I can't back down now
I pushed the other guys too far

Peppapig

#You can be my DJ
I can be your dancefloor#


WTF!

Caught

Peppapig wrote: »

#You can be my DJ
I can be your dancefloor#


WTF!

All good JLS songs seem to just be catchy tunes with lyrics thrown around. Whatever rhymes [or in this case its just plain old random] sticks.

And its actually
"you can be the DJ,
I can be the dancefloor,
you can get up on me," I think. :L

Still makes no sense... They should be a dancer in that case...

Love your name btw.

Parawhore.xD

Horrific lyrics?
Tik tok by ke$ha says it all doesn't it?? :P

Caught

Parawhore.xD wrote: »

Horrific lyrics?
Tik tok by ke$ha says it all doesn't it?? :P

Tik tok on the clock cause the party dont stop. :L
Wouldnt mind, but isn't it spelt tick?

I hate the name Ke$ha. I always say it wrong. C'mon like, how on earth do you pronounce a dollar sign? I think its easier if we all follow Youtuber Glozell's trend and call her Ketchup and Cashew.

Android 666

Another JLS one that bugs the shíte out of me:
Ohh, shes the kinda girl I dream about
Magazines, glossy magazines

Another terrible one:
You cut me open and I keep bleeding, keep, keep bleeding love

colinod0806

Yeah (i) yeah, im in charge now,
Im a star and I bought my ****ing cast out,
I live a very very very wild lifestyle,
Heidi and Audrina eat your heart out,
I used to listen to you dont wanna bring arms house
I got so many clothes I keeps em in ma aunts house,
Disturbing London baby we about to branch out,
Soon ill be the king like Prince Charles Child, Yeah!

from tinie tempah-pass out. the line in bold particularly grates on me.on one end of the rap scale you have eminems genius lyrics and on the other end well...

!Pablo Fanquez!

My eyes are burnt and bleeding and all that looks like a monkey on a silver bar …
big poop hatch with a cotton hatch – hatch holes that the light shows in and the light shows out …
and the little red fence …
and the wire and the wood …
and the barbs and the berries …
and the tires and the bottles and the caruponrims …
and the heat swims on its fenders and the dust collects and the rust of autumn surrenders into gold …
trumpet poop on the ground with peanuts its bell was blocking an ant’s vision …
and the mice played in its air holes and valves …
a ladybug crawled off its mouthpiece standing out red and blacked its wings and blew off to a flower …
its hum heard just above the ground …
black dots were hung in what turned out to be an olive tree that originally held a tree house full of a building with one small window …
birds and broken glass and tiny bits of newspaper …
"My sun is free from the window," said the god the green dabbers …
rice wires mouse tins and milk muffins …
cereal and stone …
matches and masks and mace and clubs …
and splintered shaft light intrigues a cricket on a dust jeweled penlet …
cobwebs collect down plaster run into a hole and find collected glass that drinks the reflection of midday afternoon midway between telegraph lines …
a silver wing – a cloud – a rumbling of a cloud …
a crowd of various violins strum from next door through my wall into my ear obviously artificial …
neighbors laugh through sandwiches …
Harlem babies – their stomachs explode into roars …
their eyes shiny with starvation …
spreckled hula dance on my phonograph …
my door rattles windy …
sand wears my rug shoe and taps on the unheard finish of an hourglass I cannot hear …
a typical musician’s nest of thoughts filter through dust speakers …
"Why don’t you go home? Oh Blobby, are you great," exclaims two lips in some jumbled rock ‘n’ roll tune and wears a spot I cannot scratch …
the surface of a friend …
this high book a friend laid on me …
on the couch relaxing in the corner behind a still life pond with plenty of bugs and lily pads slurred in mud banks and boulders tin cans and raisins warped by thought …
strain on the spoon like a wheat check – check Bif – cotton popping out of his sleeve …
poop hatch open – big poop hatch with a cotton hatch – hatch holes – got to pick up the horns …
but the head won’t move until it walks

A V A

Caught wrote: »

All the Small Things:

Keep your head still
I'll be your thrill
Tonight is the night
My little windmill?

shat up :P:P:P:P


thats song is a complete p*ss take its was meant to be funny and lyrics were stupid and they said it was a joke themselves hahahaha
love it
blink 182 for life

catbear

MacArthur's Park is melting in the dark,
All the sweet, green icing flowing down
Someone left the cake out in the rain
I don't think that I can take it
'Cause it took so long to bake it
And I'll never have that recipe again, oh no

MacArthur Park sung by Richard Harris, written by Jimmy Webb.
So bad it's brilliant!

Orando Broom

Can the intro piece to You Took the Words Right out of my Mouth be included.

Here

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1fAPEUWowEc


GAAAAAAH!!!!!

busfare_home

'And after all,
You're my Wonderwall'

Yes, that certainly is a wonderful wall.

Tallon

"How many roads must a man walk down, before he becomes a man"

The feck? I thought he was already a man?

Android 666

Tallon wrote: »

"How many roads must a man walk down, before he becomes a man"

The feck? I thought he was already a man?

Obviously that would be a stupid lyric but if you actually quoted it right:
How many roads most a man walk down
Before you call him a man ?

Then it would make sense

Tallon

Android 666 wrote: »

How many roads most a man walk down
Before you can call him a man ?

:rolleyes:

ciano1

Razorlight -Somewhere Else

''I met a girl,
She asked me my name,
I told her what it was''

Beautiful

Android 666

Tallon wrote: »

:rolleyes:

Eh, actually no. Listen to the song. :P

ttoppcat

"Now you get to watch her leave, out the window, I guess thats why they call it window pane"

Great song, truly awful lyric.

TomJoe Wallace

Random lyrics from a true God.

Fat bottom girl, You make the rockin' world go round.

irokie

randomuser77 wrote: »

My all time favourite (is that the right word?) is the first verse of Life by Des'ree:

"I'm afraid of the dark
Especially when I'm in a park
And there's no one else around,
Oh I get the shivers.
I don't want to see a ghost,
It's the sight that I fear most
I'd rather have a piece of toast
And watch the evening news."

You know what pisses me off about this? She's actually pretty good. This is fantastic.

Pdfile

Tallon wrote: »

"How many roads must a man walk down, before he becomes a man"

The feck? I thought he was already a man?

thats crazy bob and his time machine...

its a little known fact he went back in time and changed his name.

thegeist

Here are a collection of lyrics that make me want stick knitting needles into my ears.

I'm blue da ba dee da ba die
(Eiffel 65)

Can you imagine no love, pride, deep-fried chicken
Your best friend always sticking up for you even when I know you’re wrong.
(Train)

And when the stars are shining brightly
In the velvet sky,
I'll make a wish
Send it to heaven
Then make you want to cry
(SAvage Garden)

The last one makes my blood boil, what a rubbish band.

Monsieur Folie

I once wrote a song called Incestual Lover.

It was pretty grotesque.

Boogienights

Love the thread, well done:)

Dave!

Just discovered this thread

I've always hate-hate-hated these lines from Damien Rice's song Older Chests

Older chests reveal themselves
Like a crack in a wall
Starting small, and grow in time
And we all seem to need the help
Of someone else
To mend that shelf
of too many books
Read me your favourite line

Nhead

I'm as serious as cancer
when I say that rhythm is a dancer

Snap

timewilltell

(Yeah, Ah-Ah-Ah-Ah-Ah-Ark)
Oo-ooh-ooh, hoo yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah
Yeah-ah-ah
Yeah-ah-ah
Yeah-ah-ah
Yeah-ah-ah
Yeah, yeah, yeah

[Rebecca Black - Verse 1]

7am, waking up in the morning
Gotta be fresh, gotta go downstairs
Gotta have my bowl, gotta have cereal
Seein’ everything, the time is goin’
Tickin’ on and on, everybody’s rushin’
Gotta get down to the bus stop
Gotta catch my bus, I see my friends (My friends)

Kickin’ in the front seat
Sittin’ in the back seat
Gotta make my mind up
Which seat can I take?

It’s Friday, Friday
Gotta get down on Friday
Everybody’s lookin’ forward to the weekend, weekend
Friday, Friday
Gettin’ down on Friday
Everybody’s lookin’ forward to the weekend

Partyin’, partyin’ (Yeah)
Partyin’, partyin’ (Yeah)
Fun, fun, fun, fun
Lookin’ forward to the weekend

[Rebecca Black - Verse 2]

7:45, we’re drivin’ on the highway
Cruisin’ so fast, I want time to fly
Fun, fun, think about fun
You know what it is
I got this, you got this
My friend is by my right
I got this, you got this
Now you know it

Kickin’ in the front seat
Sittin’ in the back seat
Gotta make my mind up
Which seat can I take?

[Chorus]

It’s Friday, Friday
Gotta get down on Friday
Everybody’s lookin’ forward to the weekend, weekend
Friday, Friday
Rebecca Black Friday lyrics found on http://www.directlyrics.com/rebecca-black-friday-lyrics.html

Gettin’ down on Friday
Everybody’s lookin’ forward to the weekend

Partyin’, partyin’ (Yeah)
Partyin’, partyin’ (Yeah)
Fun, fun, fun, fun
Lookin’ forward to the weekend

[Bridge]

Yesterday was Thursday, Thursday
Today i-is Friday, Friday (Partyin’)
We-we-we so excited
We so excited
We gonna have a ball today

Tomorrow is Saturday
And Sunday comes after...wards
I don’t want this weekend to end

[Rap Verse]

R-B, Rebecca Black
So chillin’ in the front seat (In the front seat)
In the back seat (In the back seat)
I’m drivin’, cruisin’ (Yeah, yeah)
Fast lanes, switchin’ lanes
Wit’ a car up on my side (Woo!)
(C’mon) Passin’ by is a school bus in front of me
Makes tick tock, tick tock, wanna scream
Check my time, it’s Friday, it’s a weekend
We gonna have fun, c’mon, c’mon, y’all

[Chorus]

It’s Friday, Friday
Gotta get down on Friday
Everybody’s lookin’ forward to the weekend, weekend
Friday, Friday
Gettin’ down on Friday
Everybody’s lookin’ forward to the weekend

Partyin’, partyin’ (Yeah)
Partyin’, partyin’ (Yeah)
Fun, fun, fun, fun
Lookin’ forward to the weekend

It’s Friday, Friday
Gotta get down on Friday
Everybody’s lookin’ forward to the weekend, weekend
Friday, Friday
Gettin’ down on Friday
Everybody’s lookin’ forward to the weekend

Partyin’, partyin’ (Yeah)
Partyin’, partyin’ (Yeah)
Fun, fun, fun, fun
Lookin’ forward to the weekend

Case Closed.

Northernsoul

Think Tinie tempah "Pass Out" already been mentioned but heres another sample that always makes me grimace

Yeah, They say hello, they say ola and they say bonjour,
Im pissed I never got to fly on a concord,
I bin Southampton but ive never bin to Scunthorpe,
Im ****ing crazy with the kicks, call me Jean Claude,

ciaranmac

Oh I wish I was a punk rocker with flowers in my hair
In 77 and 69 revolution was in the air
I was born too late into a world that doesn't care
Oh I wish I was a punk rocker with flowers in my hair


Miserable, pessimistic, defeatist, confused, historically inaccurate, just plain all round stupid.

nyarlothothep

TomJoe Wallace wrote: »

Random lyrics from a true God.

Fat bottom girl, You make the rockin' world go round.

I'll add another one, "here we stand, tall and proud, in the shadow of the mushroom cloud." Excellent social conscience lyrics Brian, just excellent.

JBuffet

"Toor a loo, toor a loo, toor a loo, toor a lama There's no one as Irish As Barack O'Bama" The Corrigan Brothers

I have no problem with forced rhymes but this is :eek:

D1976

All bound for Mu Mu Land
All bound for Mu Mu Land
(hey)
(hey hey)
All bound for Mu Mu Land (justified)
(hey hey)
All bound for Mu Mu Land
(Bring the beat back!)

They're Justified, and they're Ancient,
And they like to roam the land.
(just roll it from the top)
They're Justified, and they're Ancient,
I hope you understand.
(to the bridge, to the bridge, to the bridge now)
They called me up in Tennessee
They said "Tammy, stand by The Jams"
But if you don't like what they're going to do,
You better not stop them 'cause they're coming through
(bring the beat back)

(Hey hey)
All bound for Mu Mu Land (justified)
(Hey hey)
All bound for Mu Mu Land (justified)
(Ancients of Mu Mu)

Mu Mu Land
Mu Mu Land
All bound for Mu Mu Land

They're Justified, and they're Ancient,
And they drive an ice cream van.
(just roll it from the top)
They're Justified and they're Ancient,
With still no master plan.
(to the bridge, to the bridge, to the bridge now)
The last train left an hour ago,
They were singing "All aboard"
All bound for Mu Mu Land,
Then someone starting screaming "Turn up the Strobe"
(bring the beat back)

(Hey hey)
All bound for Mu Mu Land (justified)
(Hey hey)
All bound for Mu Mu Land (Ancients of Mu Mu)
(Bring the beat back)

Justified and Ancient, Ancient and a-justified,
Rocking to the rhythm in their ice cream van
with the plan and the key to
enter into Mu Mu
Vibes from the tribes of the Jams

I know where the beat is at,
'cos I know what time it is
Bring home a dime,
Make mine a "99"

New style, meanwhile, always on a mission while
Fishing in the rivers of life
Fishing in the rivers of life (hoi)
Fishing in the rivers of life (hoi)
Fishing in the rivers
Fishing in the rivers
Fishing in the rivers of life (hoi)

Voo-va-voolie
Za-shi-va-zom
Voo-va-voolie
(Bring the beat back)

(Hey hey)
All bound for Mu Mu Land (justified)
(Hey hey)
All bound for Mu Mu Land (Ancients of Mu Mu)

They have travelled the world
With the ice cream van
Their voyage, the bottom of time
They have entered the place
with the Mu Mu mate
And their children so pride
Mine as a "99"
(Bring the beat back)

Mu Mu Land (Ancients of Mu Mu)
Mu Mu Land (Ancients of Mu Mu)
All bound for Mu Mu Land

Mu Mu Land (Ancients of Mu Mu)
Mu Mu Land (Ancients of Mu Mu)
All bound for Mu Mu Land

Mu Mu Land
Mu Mu Land
All bound for Mu Mu Land

cormac21051983

Nhead wrote: »

I'm as serious as cancer
when I say that rhythm is a dancer

Snap

patff

The Moon Struck One, The Band

Julie came running through the pasture--she was screaming at the sky
She fell down to her knees and the tears did fly
Little John was stung by a snake over by the lake
And it looked like he's really, really hurt--he was lying in the dirt

Robbie Robertson is know as a great songwriter, but he didn't make much effort with this one.

adamokeefe

There are plenty of shockingly bad things around.

My vote:

Anything by the Ting Tings.

These days, it's getting even worse. Every now and then I hear something on the radio and have to seriously ask myself if that's actually what was just said, or did if brain jumbled up the syllables in the name of hilarity.

Aglomerado

Avril Lavigne's Skater Boy

"he was a skater boy, said see you later boy..." or something to that effect.

Awful.