Sex in the dark

LegacyUser

The last 3 guys i've slept with have all wanted the lights off nearly all the time!

Its having a bad effect on my confidence, do they think I'm hidious? is looking at me such a turn off?

Any thoughts? Male opinions especially

Sebastien De Valmont

I can't imagine why a man would want to have sex with a women if he couldn't see anything.

That's just weird as hell.

sam34

maybe they're the ones that are self-conscious and dont want you to see their bodies

Bottle_of_Smoke

Nah, say they're worried about how they look. Or hiding some kind of crotch rot. Its always an idea to have a good look at someone's genitals before you have sex with them.

Faith

I was with a guy recently who turned out the lights. I was a little miffed, but I soon realised it was definitely because of something to do with him!

Why don't you tell them that you'd like the lights on?

LegacyUser

I did mentioned it but got nowhere. In once case it caused a huge row.
They cannot all be self conscious and none of them have any reason to be....all experienced adults with previous relationships etc
Probably just having a bad run...but it does my head in

tenchi-fan

I'm a guy. I prefer the lights out. I don't mean pitch black, I just don't like a philips energy saving bulb light lighting up the whole room; it's just unnatural!
See if they're against using candles to set a mood, or see how they feel the following morning when it's bright outside.

carmel27

Faith wrote: »

I was with a guy recently who turned out the lights. I was a little miffed, but I soon realised it was definitely because of something to do with him!

Why don't you tell them that you'd like the lights on?

What was it, What was it?! Im really curious!:D

sam34

bruised ego wrote: »

I did mentioned it but got nowhere. In once case it caused a huge row.
They cannot all be self conscious and none of them have any reason to be....all experienced adults with previous relationships etc
Probably just having a bad run...but it does my head in

you might not think they have any reason to be self-conscious, but that may not be how they see themselves at all

iguana

Some people may just like the lights out as a preference. They may be excited by not being able to see what is happening and what might come next, a sort of variation of using blindfolds.

mood

sam34 wrote: »

you might not think they have any reason to be self-conscious, but that may not be how they see themselves at all

I agree. Every id different. Maybe you were just not meant for each other.

Alter-Ego

Might just be preference. In the dark's like wearing a blindfold. When one sense is taken away the rest are hightened.

RealistSpy

I love the light on, I want to see what is going on . For me to want the light off it just means am not into the person I just want to destress with sex. In my experience most women always want the lights off.

Nevyn

Some people prefer the lack of distraction of the visual and find it heightens the awareness of the other senses. It doesn't have to be a negative preference.

Yourself

tenchi-fan wrote: »

I'm a guy. I prefer the lights out. I don't mean pitch black, I just don't like a philips energy saving bulb light lighting up the whole room; it's just unnatural!
See if they're against using candles to set a mood, or see how they feel the following morning when it's bright outside.

I reckon daytime sex is the solution

dublingal80

ive mainly only ever had sex with lights on or in the day. i just thought guys were really visual and wanted to see what they were doinig

deffo try day time sex

jessiejam

Maybe they all pull really stupid faces when they eh.... finish?:rolleyes:
And they don't want to be laughed at?:D

Maybe your a sizzler in the scratcher?;)

try not read too much into it

Sebastien De Valmont

If a sexual partner wants to keep the lights off and you don't what it that way you should encourage them to try having sex by candlelight.
Next time try sex with just a bedside lamp on.
Tell them how much you like their body and kiss them from head to toe.
Get them comfortable.
Eventually they will be quite happy to leave the light on.
Before you know it you will both be entirely comfortable walking around naked in front of eachother.
Daytime sex is where this should be leading.