non bridezilla seeks similar like minded!! ;-D

artyeva

are there any other brides/grooms to be out there who aren't having a traditional ''wedding''? and by that i don't mean just a pared down wedding - i mean doing something fresh, modern, and completely non traditional???? if so i'd love to hear from you.

i'm finding it increasingly hard to find any sites/forums that reflect our views/ideas for our nuptuals. the sector is awash with bridezillas/groomzillas who seem to be firmly entrenched in either the ''it's my day, and f**k everyone else, i'll throw a hissy fit if anyone doesn't agree that my wedding idea is the most original and individual on earth'', or the outdated ideas about what a wedding ''should'' or ''shouldn't'' be done/said/served/worn... the closest thing i've found so far is ''offbeatbride.com'' - are there any people here on their forums?

neither myself or my other half are ''wedding'' people - we have 2 weddings to go to this year and are absolutely freakin dreading having to sit through the obligatory church ceremony, [neither of us are religious/believe in god], the hanging around for hours making small talk with people we would never choose to spend time with, and the meal that normally we would never choose to eat, followed by speeches and dancing to a band/music we'd rather stick pens in our eyes than have to listen to.... but we'll do it. cause that's what's ''expected'' when you want to show your love/support for the 2 getting married...

we just don't want to do this ourselves when we make our commitement to each other. anyone else out there having a really off the wall wedding plan? it's awful lonely out here in ''non irish wedding land''....:o

izzyflusky

What do you have in mind for your wedding?

Kimono-Girl

artyeva wrote: »

neither myself or my other half are ''wedding'' people - we have 2 weddings to go to this year and are absolutely freakin dreading having to sit through the obligatory church ceremony, [neither of us are religious/believe in god], the hanging around for hours making small talk with people we would never choose to spend time with, and the meal that normally we would never choose to eat, followed by speeches and dancing to a band/music we'd rather stick pens in our eyes than have to listen to.... but we'll do it. cause that's what's ''expected'' when you want to show your love/support for the 2 getting married...

we just don't want to do this ourselves when we make our commitement to each other. anyone else out there having a really off the wall wedding plan? it's awful lonely out here in ''non irish wedding land''....:o

im just going to clarify we are having a church/hotel wedding, but thats where most traditions end for us, (im thinking of a red wedding dress which oddly enough shocks some people) and i sympathise with you (im not religious AT ALL but my other half is so im doing the church for him)

the bolded part above really is key to freedom for you now you can have a civil service anywhere! i read today of a couple who had their ceremony in the everyman palace theatre in cork!

the second bolded part i highlighted is also key! remember at your wedding you can pick the music YOU want, e.g we're having foo fighters,metallica, muse covers...etc at ours!

you really can make your wedding as personal to you as a couple! and you don't have to be a bridezilla, im just not going to stress about anything, even my bridesmaids are picking their own colours between them, they can wear their hair which ever way they want i don't care if its not perfect once everyone enjoys themselves!

FunnyStuff

I'm like you, dont like all the crazy mental stuff with people you hardly see and bands that no-one knows. Go to so many wedding and they are all excatly the same, no variation and everyone seems to think that because its what is expected of them, then that is what they have to do.

I'm getting married in August, just registry office with the two families. Then off to a well known hotel, dinner and bit of craic, and beer in the bar in the evening with any friends who wish to come along. Nothing fancy, just we wanted to have it something quiet with the people we love and anyone who wants to join after is welcome.

peggie

my wedding day plan goes like this

9:30 civil ceremony in the wedding room in the village- dress code ski clothes/casual for non-skiers
10:30 ish- skiing for skiers and day at the pool/whatever for those that don't
3:30 drinks and speeches up the mountain... followed by prob more drinks "downstairs"
8:30 dinner in restaurant followed by whatever people choose- pub/bed/club

no wedding dress/suits/bridesmaid dress/wedding cake/hairdresser/make-up artist/
still deciding re flowers. might have a few

we've invited less than 30 people to join us
its our day through and through but is confusing the hell out of the people who are coming, they are so ingrained in the "normal wedding" they can't understand that i ain't into that.
op hope your day is just as you as i hope mine will be
peg

namurt

Good idea for a thread.
We've completely broken the traditional wedding mould with our plan for the big day. Most outsiders and all friends have thought our plan for the day is brilliant and really unique, unfortunately some family members don't feel the same.
Only one person "in the business" has been an idiot about our plan. Was really surprised in this day and age when the local hairdresser said "well I suppose that counts" when I told her we're having a civil ceremony. No offence to anyone here who has chosen to have a church wedding but I felt like saying to her....well actually legally it counts more than getting a blessing from the church.

Ps, nearly killed myself skiing once but love your idea Peggie, sounds so relaxed.

tfak85

we are not having the "traditional" wedding either but doing things our way and hoping for a fun time that everyone will enjoy, after all, everything after the "I do's" is to celebrate the fact that the two of you are publically and legally declaring your love for each other...
we are having a civil ceremony with 50ish people, lunch in the afternoon, hoping all will stay in a hotel in town with us and then a party in a function room in town the next day...
i'm not wearing a wedding dress, my bridesmaid can wear what she wants, there will be no matching tux's and i'll pick up my flowers on the way.

i really love www.rocknrollbride.com there are some great ideas to be had here and often links to lots of other really cool sites...

Alliandre

Fair play to those of ye who go for something completely different! I definetly still want some traditional stuff (white dress etc), but the more I read about hotel packages, the more irritated I get that they're all the same except for price. Red carpet on arrival (um, we would be having the civil ceremony at the hotel and would probably get ready there so that doesn't really count), boring three course meal with no choice, free cake stand (!) etc. I'm still trying to figure out what to do different. I think we're definetly going for a buffet instead of a normal set meal, as it's more informal. I also don't care if my bridesmaids wear the same dress or not. And I'm not wearing make-up. I never wear make-up, so I don't see why I should have to wear it for my wedding. I'd like to have some sort of theme or do something quirky.

funky cheese

When I am getting married, I won't want 'friends' at it who would think about it with dread. In fact I'd prefer them not to come then to have sour faces.

prinz

artyeva wrote: »

neither myself or my other half are ''wedding'' people - we have 2 weddings to go to this year and are absolutely freakin dreading having to sit through the obligatory church ceremony, [neither of us are religious/believe in god], the hanging around for hours making small talk with people we would never choose to spend time with, and the meal that normally we would never choose to eat, followed by speeches and dancing to a band/music we'd rather stick pens in our eyes than have to listen to.... but we'll do it. cause that's what's ''expected'' when you want to show your love/support for the 2 getting married...

Just because you don't want a 'traditional' wedding it doesn't give you the right to look down on others tbh. If you aren't interested in other people's weddings don't go. I don't see what belief in God/interest in religion has to do with dreading a church ceremony, having had a good number of committed atheists at my own. Tbh your post screams attention seeking. Most people don't do things because it's expected they do it for their friends, families and loved ones.

Ever think that when you have your 'non traditional' wedding planned other people will be dreading yours?

As for mine, we had a church wedding ceremony, followed by a reception at a community hall that we planned ourselves, from the decorations, drinks and entertainment to the food, everything. No hotel, no band, no DJ, no seating plan, no official photographer, no videographer, no menu of boring clichéd food, speeches kept to an absolute minimum as we did our own that was it, and preferred going around talking to guests rather than an impersonal speech from the top. Guests provided the entertainment later on, we had a mini exfactor, with guests doing dancing, live music, comedy sketches, etc.

Definitely not traditional but tbh if another couple wants to go the traditional route we'd go in a heartbeat and enjoy it. At the end of the day it's about what the couple want, be it traditional or not, not the guests.

Whispered

prinz wrote: »

Definitely not traditional but tbh if another couple wants to go the traditional route we'd go in a heartbeat and enjoy it.

I'd be the same, I can't understand when people get an invitation and dread going. I love getting invitations! If I can't go, I make my excuses, if I can, I go and enjoy myself.

To be honest, the amount of anti wedding sentiment here can be amazing for a wedding forum (not just this thread but the forum in general).

Some ideas for more non traditional would be to have the celebration in your own home. Where better to celebrate your "new life" so to speak than there. Even a Marquee in your garden (if you had a big enough one garden).

I have heard of "bring your own" weddings in the US where guests bring a dish and share it all like a buffet. It might work for a smaller wedding.

You could run away and get married on a beautiful island. We had considered that but decided having our friends and family there was more important to us. We got a good bit of planning done though and it's pretty straight forward and there are agencies which help.

If you have musical/talented friends, you could have an open mic wedding. We're planning on having an hour where the mic is open to our guests, also the groom will be playing a set.

Of course there is the dinner for close family and then a "anyone welcome" party in a local.

I see you're in mayo, what about a BBQ on the beach? I'm sure there are hotels down there with a private stretch of beech you could use?

prinz

Whispered wrote: »

To be honest, the amount of anti wedding sentiment here can be amazing for a wedding forum (not just this thread but the forum in general).

To a massive amount of people it's viewed as a chore instead of as a celebration.

funky cheese

i'm finding it increasingly hard to find any sites/forums that reflect our views/ideas for our nuptuals. the sector is awash with bridezillas/groomzillas who seem to be firmly entrenched in either the ''it's my day, and f**k everyone else, i'll throw a hissy fit if anyone doesn't agree that my wedding idea is the most original and individual on earth'', or the outdated ideas about what a wedding ''should'' or ''shouldn't'' be done/said/served/worn... the closest thing i've found so far is ''offbeatbride.com'' - are there any people here on their forums?

neither myself or my other half are ''wedding'' people -

If you are not wedding people then why are you having a ''day'' and looking for ideas for that ''day''.
Your determination seems to be in being different, why bother getting married at all?

Brian Capture

artyeva wrote: »

are there any other brides/grooms to be out there who aren't having a traditional ''wedding''? and by that i don't mean just a pared down wedding - i mean doing something fresh, modern, and completely non traditional???? if so i'd love to hear from you.

i'm finding it increasingly hard to find any sites/forums that reflect our views/ideas for our nuptuals. the sector is awash with bridezillas/groomzillas who seem to be firmly entrenched in either the ''it's my day, and f**k everyone else, i'll throw a hissy fit if anyone doesn't agree that my wedding idea is the most original and individual on earth'', or the outdated ideas about what a wedding ''should'' or ''shouldn't'' be done/said/served/worn... the closest thing i've found so far is ''offbeatbride.com'' - are there any people here on their forums?

neither myself or my other half are ''wedding'' people - we have 2 weddings to go to this year and are absolutely freakin dreading having to sit through the obligatory church ceremony, [neither of us are religious/believe in god], the hanging around for hours making small talk with people we would never choose to spend time with, and the meal that normally we would never choose to eat, followed by speeches and dancing to a band/music we'd rather stick pens in our eyes than have to listen to.... but we'll do it. cause that's what's ''expected'' when you want to show your love/support for the 2 getting married...

we just don't want to do this ourselves when we make our commitement to each other. anyone else out there having a really off the wall wedding plan? it's awful lonely out here in ''non irish wedding land''....:o

wow, you sound really cool. I dig your alternative lifestyle.

:rolleyes:

iguana

Brian Capture wrote: »

wow, you sound really cool. I dig your alternative lifestyle.

:rolleyes:

If you have something constructive to post then post it. If you just want to be condescending keep it to yourself. Any further similar posts will receive infractions.

artyeva

thanks for the replies, peeps, i do appreciate ye taking the time to reply, whether ye're tads or non trads, so to speak

Brian Capture wrote: »

wow, you sound really cool. I dig your alternative lifestyle. :rolleyes:

see this is the kinda thing i'm up against - anything out of the ''norm'' is looked on with sarcasm and if i'm not mistaken a teeny tiny bit of ridicule as well :rolleyes:

FunnyStuff & namurt, like both ye're ideas, i see where yer going. small, relaxed, etc. It's really uncomfortable sometimes since we got engaged talking to people - some people seem to have their idea on what we should do all worked out in their heads already... and when we broach the subject of maybe NOT having the ole usual you can nearly see them recoil and take a few steps back and give the obligatory ''oooohhhhh''. like they just stepped in doggy doo-doo or something...:D

peggie - absolutley fab idea!! love the no dress/makeup/flowers thing - you sound like avid ski-ers?

tfak85 wrote: »

i really love www.rocknrollbride.com there are some great ideas to be had here and often links to lots of other really cool sites...

ok, there are some great ideas there - thanks so much for that!!!!! your day sounds in keeping with what we had in mind too. no formalised ideas on who should be wearing what etc. if you don't mind me asking, if you're not going for a trad dress, are you just going for a nice dress you like? iykwim?

funky cheese wrote: »

When I am getting married, I won't want 'friends' at it who would think about it with dread. In fact I'd prefer them not to come then to have sour faces.

if you're implying that we will be going to these weddings with ''sour faces'' then um... no... we won't, and i don't think i said in my OP that we would...??

Alliandre - kudos for the no make up thing!! you're dead right actually. which is why i refuse to starve myself between now and whenever we do the deed. i don't really want to look back on the photos [if we do decide to have a photographer] and not recognise myself!!!

prinz wrote: »

Just because you don't want a 'traditional' wedding it doesn't give you the right to look down on others tbh.

If you aren't interested in other people's weddings don't go. I don't see what belief in God/interest in religion has to do with dreading a church ceremony, having had a good number of committed atheists at my own. Tbh your post screams attention seeking. Most people don't do things because it's expected they do it for their friends, families and loved ones.

Ever think that when you have your 'non traditional' wedding planned other people will be dreading yours?

ok, if i gave the impression that i ''look down'' on these types of weddings then i don't think i meant to... it's just that look - i know from a guest's point of view just how boring these shin digs can be, and we don't want to do it. simple as. just cause we don't want it doesn't mean Seamus and Máire or whoever will cease to be our friends/family if they choose to... it's just not a road we want to go down. i'm not sure how simpler i can/could have put it?

as for people dreading ours, well we haven't decided if we'll invite anyone yet, or just have the 2 of us. and if that was meant to be in anyway a snide comment, then by your own advice they can choose not to go then, can't they???!!!:pac:;):p

as for the church ceremony, i probably shouldn't have mentioned that really. it wasn't meant to offend any members of any judeo–christiancommunity,and if it did please let me apologise,it's just i have my own personal reasons for not feeling comfortable in a church. not every atheist in the world feels comfortable in churches, so... um... that's defo one thing we've agreed - civil all the way, however that ''ceremony'' takes shape.

artyeva

funky cheese wrote: »

If you are not wedding people then why are you having a ''day'' and looking for ideas for that ''day''.
Your determination seems to be in being different, why bother getting married at all?

are you saying that if we don't want a traditional irish wedding then why would we want to get married at all???? i'm really sorry but if that's what you're saying then i don't understand your logic. if i took you up wrong maybe you could explain what you meant.

when i said we weren't wedding people i meant that we don't like the whole ceremony/meal/cake cutting/band/dancing/drunk relatives mish mash that it is sometimes. we don't particulary like going to them, but when we have to we do. heck, one of the best weddings we ever went to was a trad affair. but it was great because the couple made it great.

and hell yeah, i am determined to be different, i don't think there's anything wrong with being or wanting to be different. would the world be a better place if everyone was the same???? :eek:

tfak85

well, i had been looking originally at short wedding dresses, i'm 5'2" and really into the 1950's and thought i had found the one on www.dollycouture.com but then happened to be in georges arcade and found THE ONE in retro, it's white with flowers on it, big A-line skirt and to just below the knee... just a lovely dress really!

i just kind of feel it is your day and you should do it your way but not in an offensive, not caring about your family sense....i want a 50's theme and it's freaking everybody out (why, i don't know) but i'm just happy for people to come and have a good time, they can wear whatever they feel comfortable in!

my OH has decided against the tradition of choosing one of his brothers as his best man and has chosen a friend instead, i know people choose family to save trouble but he is fully supported in his decision and the day will be the better for it!

i know someone who doesn't want to get married because they don't want the whole party after the wedding and the expense and the drama that goes along with it. people are very quick to forget that you get married to get married, because you love each other, you have the party to celebrate that, not to upstage it!

apologies for the long post...

Brian Capture

artyeva wrote: »

see this is the kinda thing i'm up against - anything out of the ''norm'' is looked on with sarcasm and if i'm not mistaken a teeny tiny bit of ridicule as well :rolleyes:

I actually think that normal / traditional weddings are boring but the rant you posted about them was dripping with snobbery, aloofness and condenscion. It seemed that you were going out of your way to be different for the sake of it rather than because you genuinely wanted to.

artyeva

tfak85 wrote: »

people are very quick to forget that you get married to get married, because you love each other, you have the party to celebrate that, not to upstage it!

absolutely love your 50's theme! i love that retro/vintage vibe, i toyed with the idea but alas due to my shape/size 50's dresses make me look like a bag of spuds with frills i wonder why people would be freaked out with it though? just because they see it as in some way rebelling?

i was struck by the last thing you said above - i think that's the crux with why i have such a dislike of irish trad weddings. we're getting married because we love each other and want to make it in some way more official than it is now. we see that as signing a legal register, exchanging rings and maybe something else, like a unity candle, or hand-tie thing or something similar. we don't see what chair covers, favours, speeches, place settings, centre pieces or anything else like that has to do with our making that gesture to each other as we start out our lives as spouses. so thanks for making that point, i think you've re-enforced a few things that some peeps forget sometimes.

Whispered

artyeva wrote: »

we don't see what chair covers, favours, speeches, place settings, centre pieces or anything else like that has to do with our making that gesture to each other as we start out our lives as spouses.

I do agree that they are surplus to requirements. I didn't want a cake (ridic prices!) but was "advised" that you have to have one for some reason. :rolleyes: I'm keeping the peace by having an aunt bake a cake and ice it in white. It is her gift to us and one that I'm now very happy about. How much more loving can a gift be than one made with your own two hands?

Anyway thats beside the point. What I was going to say is that there are reasons those traditions came about. The speaches for instance are important to us. They will be kept short but I think it is important that the groom and the father of the bride thank the people who came. I think it's a lovely gesture for the father of the bride to publically welcome the groom into the family in his speech. I want to acknowledge just how good my mother in law has been in helping with the planning etc.

Never bothered about chair covers, I think they are provided, but if they add to the look of the room great. Similar to our centre pieces. They are provided, look good (really good actually) and I'm happy to have them.

Favours have been a sticky one between us I personally think a gesture of appreciation for your guests (however small) is nice. Each one of our guests is a close friend/ family member. They have impacted our lives. I think the favour we've chosen with help from the other thread is perfect, a gesture everyone benefits from.

Having a trad wedding does not have to mean a big blow out and a boring day. At last I really hope not. We are putting a lot of time and effort into making it personal as possible. I truely hope every guest enjoys themselves and I will go out of my way to try ensure that. They are all so important to us.

Of course you don't NEED to do the traditional thing to have your guests enjoy the day but I can't think of a way I'd personally prefer to celebrate anything than a meal and some drinks with people. Even our dog is joining us for a while.

EDIT: What about a wedding on a glacier followed by a meal in the ice hotel in reykjavik? A real white wedding and something very different.

izzyflusky

To be honest I don't think there is an issue with "different" weddings. In this day and age more and more people choose to either not get married or do a small family do, etc.

I don't think people forget why they are getting married either, they just want to have a nice party and celebrate afterwards. Whatever way they do it comes down to their personal taste, budget, etc.

If some one wants to have a "different" wedding (at this point most things have been done anyway, so I'd argue about that word) then so be it, if on the other hand they'd preffer something more traditional then that's just as good, and whoever doesn't like it, or think its boring then they should just stay at home and save the happy couple some money.

hazeler

a site, that is mostly American brides but has a little Irish contingent (*waves* we're over here!!) when you join the ning is www.offbeatbride.com

Excellent for ideas and alternatives to suit all sorts and sizes...

It bothers me just how hard it is in this country to go against the grain. What alternatives are there to the church/hotel/drinking fest, big white day that people expect you to have when you tell them you got engaged? Plenty let me tell you but, wow, is it annoying to constantly have to explain why you dont want that type of wedding!! Why is it when you say "well no we're not having 250 people to eat dinner in a random hotel" that people look at you strange, or instantly assume its because you're trying to keep costs down in these recessionary times. Or "no I have no interest in Bridal magazines because I have browsed and feel they dont suit my interests, so I wouldn't like a subscription to Confetti or borrow any of yours thanks". Or, why is it a big deal that I want to have wedding runners and my FH and his groomsmen will wear Con's...

For people who like to think outside the box, it is extremly hard to organise a wedding in this country. Hotels can't see beyond their own vision, that every other Bride and Groom that's gone before you has been happy with. So why aren't you?? and when you try to explain your vision to others who have opted for "traditional" the backlash is astounding.

Everyone is entitled to a wedding day that they want. It is a celebration of your love and commitment to each other. It doesn't make a difference if you have it in your yard or some Castle. Nobody should be judged on how they choose to celebrate their day. If you have a problem with someone elses plans, traditional or alternative, thats YOUR problem.

Why can't we all just get along!

Whispered

hazeler wrote: »

Everyone is entitled to a wedding day that they want. It is a celebration of your love and commitment to each other. It doesn't make a difference if you have it in your yard or some Castle. Nobody should be judged on how they choose to celebrate their day. If you have a problem with someone elses plans, traditional or alternative, thats YOUR problem.

+1

tfak85

hazeler wrote: »

a site, that is mostly American brides but has a little Irish contingent (*waves* we're over here!!) when you join the ning is www.offbeatbride.com

why is it a big deal that I want to have wedding runners and my FH and his groomsmen will wear Con's...


Everyone is entitled to a wedding day that they want. It is a celebration of your love and commitment to each other. It doesn't make a difference if you have it in your yard or some Castle. Nobody should be judged on how they choose to celebrate their day. If you have a problem with someone elses plans, traditional or alternative, thats YOUR problem.

Why can't we all just get along!

i agree with all of the above, offbeatbride is a great website!
my OH is getting nike IDs made with the wedding date on the back!

curlynettie

hey mrs, i have found offbeatbride.com to be the one one worth reading!

the ireland u know turns into a very scary place when u do anything other than the 'perfect traditional wedding', as i'm in the middle of finding out :(

good luck with it all xx

How Strange

We had an ''alternative' wedding and I have to say we didn't find it hard to organise at all. We knew what we wanted from the very beginning and we avoided all the usual wedding hotel venues because they have their business set up for traditional weddings and usually can't accomodate anything different.

IMO there is a lot more choice and freedom now since civil ceremonies in private venues were introduced.

The one thing I found when organising our own wedding was not to get sucked into all the trimmings and trappings. We didn't have a cake or flowers or bridesmaids or any of that. Some of my relations were shocked that I wouldn't be holding flowers or there wouldn't be a cake to cut but I just said we didn't need any of those things because we were just having a ceremony and late lunch with our family to celebrate our marriage.

In the end our wedding was so relaxed and informal that everyone just eased into it and completely enjoyed themselves and that was exactly what both of us wanted.

Beruthiel

How Strange wrote: »

The one thing I found when organising our own wedding was not to get sucked into all the trimmings and trappings.

Totally agree.
Our wedding consists of a 10 minute ceremony on the grounds of the place we are eating in.
We're foodies, so it's an 8 course tasting menu with loads of wine, there will be 36 of us in total and the evening consists of the meal and nothing else.
Dress bought in Monsoon.
That's it.
Nice and relaxed. Other than the food and Registrar, nothing much to organise.

iguana

Emelbee wrote: »

Firstly, there's normally a church service. Civil ceremonies are restricted to registry offices which aren't very exciting,

Not any more they're not. There are lots of licensed venues where you can have a civil service and there are many solemnisers of all different spiritual and religious backgrounds (humanists and pagans for example) who can conduct legally binding ceremonies at a variety of venues.

How Strange

Emelbee wrote: »

Firstly, there's normally a church service. Civil ceremonies are restricted to registry offices which aren't very exciting, while in other parts of the world you could have a civil service outside, in a vineyard, on a beach, on a farm or in a beautiful garden.

This is completely incorrect. Since 2007, you can get married in any permanent structure which holds a licence for the ceremony. When you book your date for the wedding you pick morning or afternoon, then you have to fill out the venue form which the venue also has to fill out and then the registrar will either approve or decline the venue.

AFAIK you can't get married in a temporary structure (marquee) or outdoors. You can't get married in a building which has any religious function otherwise you're pretty much free to choose your venue.

Link to citizens information explaining it all is attached
http://www.citizensinformation.ie/categories/birth-family-relationships/getting-married/civil_marriage_ceremony

Second, there's the very same same receptions at hotels and you're very restricted by their decor and food and what they have to offer. 6pm dinners! Who eats at 6pm in the summer?

That's not strictly true either. It depends on what type of wedding ceremony you want to have. A lot of people are very happy to use the hotels which offer the traditional wedding package with all the bells and whistles but there are increasingly more and more venues seeing the potential in offering alternative, smaller parties catering to the individual needs of the bride and groom.

IMO if you go to the usual hotels which are set up to cater for traditional weddings and expect them to be able to accomodate your alternative wedding then you're trying to fit a square peg in a round hole.

I've been to and heard about weddings which were different to the standard and really all you need is a little imagination and a few hours to surf the interweb.

Bookkeeper09

My sister in law got married about 5 weeks ago and had a civil ceremony outside. It was in the Station House Hotel in Co. Meath.

iguana

How Strange wrote: »

but there are increasingly more and more venues seeing the potential in offering alternative, smaller parties catering to the individual needs of the bride and groom.

Yup, to name one Beufield Mews in Stillorgan offers all sorts of packages including a picnic wedding, where the guests (usually in groups of 4 or so) get a picnic basket full of goodies and a picnic rug and everyone sits in the gardens for the reception. I keep telling any of my friends who might be getting married in the near future about it because I want to go to a picnic wedding.:D (I'm not sure about what they do if it's bad weather, I assume the venue has a plan.)

Alliandre

iguana wrote: »

Yup, to name one Beufield Mews in Stillorgan offers all sorts of packages including a picnic wedding, where the guests (usually in groups of 4 or so) get a picnic basket full of goodies and a picnic rug and everyone sits in the gardens for the reception. I keep telling any of my friends who might be getting married in the near future about it because I want to go to a picnic wedding.:D (I'm not sure about what they do if it's bad weather, I assume the venue has a plan.)

That sounds like a fantastic idea! Although I would be a bit hesitant booking something like that as it would probably be raining.

ninnyhammer

My issues with the subject heading "non bridezilla seeks similar like minded!! ;-D "

I would consider myself far from a bridezilla and was interested to read more. However, I am a traditionalist and was slightly taken aback with the aggression in your post towards traditional minded people. I would suggest against labelling people who enjoy/host traditional weddings as bride/groomzillas just because their opinion differs from yours.

At the end of the day a wedding marks the celebration of 2 people wanting to spend the rest of their lives together. How a couple decides to carry out that celebration be it traditional/non traditional should be respected and welcomed regardless of anyone elses personal opinion.

Getting back to your subject heading; I am not a bridezilla but I’m far from like minded…I’d call myself…open minded

spade

Hi ArtyEva,

I absolutely applaud your desire to have a different wedding - I'm very conscious of making our wedding a reflection of us as a couple, our taste, our style. But I think ultimately it's about having a great day the way you want it to be - whether you want to get married standing on your head in a clown suit or if you want a princess gown and all the trimmings, either way all your guests - friends and family - should support you in whatever you want and respect your choices & vice versa. A wedding is the most important day in someone's life, traditional, non-traditional, whatever.

I've been to plenty of weddings and sure, I wouldn't have picked those flowers or that cake or whatever, but hey, who cares? It's their day, they're happy, I'm delighted to be part of it (esp that they want me to be part of it).

I got engaged last September just after Electric Picnic, and we had coincidentally been talking the day before (well he knew, i didn't) and said if we ever (!) got married it would be cool to have a kind of festival theme- so I love Iguana's suggestion:

iguana wrote: »

Beufield Mews in Stillorgan offers all sorts of packages including a picnic wedding, where the guests (usually in groups of 4 or so) get a picnic basket full of goodies and a picnic rug and everyone sits in the gardens for the reception.

this is the sort of thing we would like.

I have to say I've haven't come across any negativity from more traditional people and none of our family and friends have thought it was weird. In fact everyone keeps asking us when this wedding-fest is happening (we're slow to set a date - and who knew but festivals are quite complicated to organise - especially when you want 17 bands to play )

Cos like ArtyEva I want our wedding to be different I've been doing lots of research and found the American and UK blogs like GreenWedding Shoes, Once Wed Intimate Wedding Ruffled Blog and the others Emelbee mentions. Because I found there is nothing like this in Ireland my friend and I set up one up called http://www.onefabday.com a while ago and we're trying to find the most original, interesting and beautiful wedding ideas for all sorts of brides and grooms and for all budgets. All ideas welcome.

Just one last thing - to clarify on this:

iguana wrote: »

there are many solemnisers of all different spiritual and religious backgrounds (humanists and pagans for example) who can conduct legally binding ceremonies at a variety of venues.

There is a register of solemnisers and it does include various religious backgrounds, but humanists are not on it unfortunately (and neither are pagans - unless i don't know the official name of paganism). If you want a non-religious ceremony you will have to have a registrar.

iguana

spade wrote: »

There is a register of solemnisers and it does include various religious backgrounds, but humanists are not on it unfortunately (and neither are pagans - unless i don't know the official name of paganism). If you want a non-religious ceremony you will have to have a registrar.

Sorry, I was wrong about humanists but Ray Sweeney of the Pagan Federation of Ireland is a licensed solemniser.