Breaking Up Question

LegacyUser

Hey everyone,

Just a quick question here...

When breaking up with someone is it best to:

(A) Be very nice, talk about how much you always loved them. Remember the good times etc.

This would be so they could be happy to have had the good times even though they are now over.

(B) Be a bit more harsh so that they realise they are probably better off without you in the long run.

Thanks for any advice

Don't be overly nice and don't be harsh.
Be gentle but firm and explain and then leave it at that.
Going on about the good times is rubbing it in and may open up to "well if you agree they were good let's give it another go". Being harsh is just, well, unfair. Nobody being dumped needs that.

fungun

i wouldnt talk about how much you loved them/good times, that would just make me feel worse tbh

Id be nice, but short, clear and firm, dont hang around to hug them etc, you will end up saying other things that make the message more unclear.

dublingal80

i think it depends on the couple, the relationship and the reason why you are breaking up

my 1st ex we broke up just, yeah its not working out, whatever... but thats cos he treated me so badly and i didnt care anymore

my recent ex broke up with me and we were together a long time, happy relationship so we broke up on good terms which suited the relationship we had

dsmythy

Just be truthful as to why you're breaking up and don't leave the door open for a 'maybe in the future'. That way he can get straight into the getting over you phase rather than lounging around stuck in the 'maybe she will take me back' stage. He'll likely be hurt either way but at least it won't last as long.

Kiera

My last ex went for the "be a prick so she hates me" option and it worked. I left the relationship with happy feelings but he turned them all sour by the way he acted after we broke up.

I think being nice is the best option. I've had break ups where we were both nice about it and i still think the world of those guys (would never get back, but think they're great guys)

LegacyUser

Thanks very much for the replies. They all make great sense. I will be firm and nice, thanks

carmel27

Not too nice though! Or, in his head, if he takes it bad, you'll always be his "really nice" ex!

Good Luck!

Exclamation Marc

It all really depends on how long you're going out and why you're breaking up.

As others said, being nice about it, saying sorry is a good way to go, once its not overly-nice because that will seem quite condescending, and try be honest about why you're breaking up (unless its something that will devastate him)

The only other advice I'd give is to be firm about it, and if he really is into you, be prepared for either a fight to change your mind or an argument. Neither might happen but it'd be good to be prepared

Sebastien De Valmont

Don't sugar coat it but spare their feelings a little too.

Leave them better than you found them.