Taking out a classy lady...need advice

Undecidedsofar

Hi all,

recently met this really great girl. We've been out a few times and its been great. I would like to take it to the next level i.e. an intimate relationship but risking losing a friend.

Thing is I don't know if we've been out so many times that it has solidified the friendship and made a relationship impossible! get me?

I've tried to say it and it was rather clumsy but no harm done. i feel that she senses it but won't go for it unless I say it straight. But maybe I'm wrong, maybe she's happy being just friends?!

I am planning to ask her out soon so would appreciate advice from women mainly but men too.

advice too on where i should take her (in Dublin). She likes wine bars etc. any advice on where i should take her?

Any advice?

Take her to Ely winebar/restaurant for dinner (love that place) and mention it over dessert
Either yes and you have the rest of the evening or no and the dinner isn't ruined and you can make your escape
good luck

Newbie_2009

Lapdancing club nothing like em to get er in da mood

BumbleB

Get in touch with your bank manager.

Zaph

Newbie_2009 wrote: »

Lapdancing club nothing like em to get er in da mood

BumbleB wrote: »

Get in touch with your bank manager.

I suggest you both read the part of the charter dealing with unhelpful and off-topic posts before you post in PI again.

degrassinoel

no point in going to a wine bar if YOU dont want to go to one.. go somewere you like and you think she may like..
be yourself, be straight with getting that awkward question out of the way early in the night, dont leave it til the last minute in a taxi..

honestly though, from what you've said, sounds like she's using you pal

dedrizzle

hey there, well I think its nice that you thought of bringing her somewhere she would like:) I think that maybe she is interested, especially if she's been meeting you on wknd nites, because if she didn't like you, she'd be spendin those nites out, prob tryn to meet someone else..

There's a lovely restaurant/winebar on south anne street called La Cave, and they do a really nice early bird (before 7). Do you drink wine though? Because if you don't maybe you should just go somewhere you like, remember everywhere sells wine so she'll be happy anyway;)

You have to let us know how it goes! Good luck:)

foodaholic

olesya wine bar is my fav wine bar. They play jazz music on some nights, check out their website.
Good luck OP

Undecidedsofar

Cheers Guys (most of you anyway ;-)) but looks like I made a balls of it already!!

I don't think she was using me at all degrassinoel. She is a really great person. Honestly I think so much of her and fear now I ballsed it up rightly. Friendship and all...

And yes dedrizzle, I thought so too. I believe she has had a few relationships in the last while but they have come to nothing.

How do I know I ballsed it up? Well, see we do a lot of texting during the week - that's not unusual between us. I asked her if she'd fancy going out this weekend. She was interested so everything fine so far. So I followed up with another text suggesting (only suggesting mind) how I felt! It was a good and honest text.

This was all above board and genuine. Her response...first silence for a few hours...not completely unusual as she doesn't live by her phone like I do...then came the text! SCHEISSE!! Not good...I think she was a bit surprised and is now upset.

I had intended just to arrange to meet up this Friday, I had Ely in mind BTW, and I'd tell her how I felt then. But in her text she asked what we might get up to etc. And I thought, rather than mislead her in a text and spring it on her on the night, I should say so now. I felt good about it too. Either way i wasn't going to ask her out under false pretences. So as she asked, I answerd!

So we are meeting for coffee to 'discuss' I don't know I mean is it really so bad what I did?

ladies? Seriously I would like some constructive advice. Thanks again.

Boskowski

I don't know, maybe I'm simply gettin' old or I have forgotten how difficult it is not to spurt it out. How it just seems to be the best idea ever in that moment. Whatever. Long story short. Under no circumstances ever can I imagine that I'd confess my undying love or else break up with someone via text message!!!

BumbleB

Boskowski wrote: »

I don't know, maybe I'm simply gettin' old or I have forgotten how difficult it is not to spurt it out. How it just seems to be the best idea ever in that moment. Whatever. Long story short. Under no circumstances ever can I imagine that I'd confess my undying love or else break up with someone via text message!!!

Whatever age you are its a bad idea.:cool:

Undecidedsofar

Boskowski wrote: »

I don't know, maybe I'm simply gettin' old or I have forgotten how difficult it is not to spurt it out. How it just seems to be the best idea ever in that moment. Whatever. Long story short. Under no circumstances ever can I imagine that I'd confess my undying love or else break up with someone via text message!!!

Not exactly like that but I get your point. trust me it was appropriate given our way and I didn't declare undying love.

sara-lou

It is frustrating when you like somebody and it doesn't seem to be going in the direction or speed you want. Just sit down and tell her that you were getting a bit confused with the situation and you were tyring to put yourself out there in the hope she might respond with similar feelings. That you're not trying to pressure her.

If you just explain it the way it is, it doesn't sound seedy or pervy it is being honest with her and surely she has to respect that. After a few dates surely ye should be able to sit down and assess where ye are at??

Fair play to you for putting yourself out there its not easy.

mood

sara-lou wrote: »

It is frustrating when you like somebody and it doesn't seem to be going in the direction or speed you want. Just sit down and tell her that you were getting a bit confused with the situation and you were tyring to put yourself out there in the hope she might respond with similar feelings. That you're not trying to pressure her.

If you just explain it the way it is, it doesn't sound seedy or pervy it is being honest with her and surely she has to respect that. After a few dates surely ye should be able to sit down and assess where ye are at??

Fair play to you for putting yourself out there its not easy.

Have you been on a few dates? I was under the impression you were only friends up to now.

Kimia

I'm totally confused. I read it like you and she had been out on a few dates and for some reason it was drifting towards friends rather than couple so you wanted to steer it back on track, which I think is fair enough.

Fair play to you for saying it straight out in a text, but what exactly did you say to 1) surprise her and 2) upset her?

I mean, if it was just 'hey I really like you, hoping we have a great time together this weekend' or something, that's actually really nice and I would be concerned that she was upset by it!

dedrizzle

hey! well, well done for saying something, but yes, what did you say to her?? Like when I read your post I was like ah for fecks sake like what did she have to be upset about??

If you didn't say anything bad then is it possible that she's upset because she thought ye were just friends and she's annoyed that you wanted more or something (which I think is just really silly).. The "discuss" thing is funny, I'd say she already knew how you felt and that she shouldn't have been that surprised.. Like you can usually tell when someone likes you.. Hopefully there won't be much to discuss!

Undecidedsofar

dedrizzle wrote: »

hey! well, well done for saying something, but yes, what did you say to her?? Like when I read your post I was like ah for fecks sake like what did she have to be upset about??

If you didn't say anything bad then is it possible that she's upset because she thought ye were just friends and she's annoyed that you wanted more or something (which I think is just really silly).. The "discuss" thing is funny, I'd say she already knew how you felt and that she shouldn't have been that surprised.. Like you can usually tell when someone likes you.. Hopefully there won't be much to discuss!

yeah you and the last few posters are spot on. She did sense it and was a bit confused by a friend saying it. But things are really cool now. Weird but we are even better friends and on a completely different level! Get that. It's an amazing friendship and she's an amazing woman. I won't say any more...

thank you all once again. Your advice and support really helped.