Would you cook meat for someone else?

ash2008

Hi,

i dont eat meat (although not a vegetarian cos i do still eat fish, but hopefully i can eventually cut that out too) whereas my bf is a big meat-lover. We have had arguments in the past, cos it annoys him that i dont eat meat - both the fact that he cant cook meat dishes for me and that i dont cook meat for him. It would just feel weird to me to be buying and cooking meat, surely if im doing all that i might as well eat it too.

But i spoke to a friend who is a strict vegetarian and she does cook meat for her boyfriend ,for eg she'd fry him a steak or cook up some mince etc..It got me thinking that maybe i should compromise more with my boyfriend and cook him some meat once in a while. After all, he still eats meat and he's going to eat it whether i cook it or not. And it might cut down the arguments. But it would just feel weird for me to handle meat.

Just wondering what everyone else's opinions are on this. Would you cook meat for your OH??

Raminahobbin

I won't cook meat for my boyfriend. I have, very occasionally, bought the meat for him when I'm shopping, but it bothers me to do so so I won't do it too often. I don't like looking at / smelling / feeling the meat. I absolutely keep this to myself, and I most certainly do not stare at him while he is eating and say 'ewww' everytime he lifts a forkfull, but he knows how I feel about it.

He knew when he met me that I would never cook meat for him, so he has just had to accept it. He doesn't mind having veggie dinners the odd time too. If he wants meat with his dinner, I usually cook all the veg and prepare the dinner first, then keep everything hot while he cooks his own meat. It takes an extra 10/15 mins; that's our lil compromise and it seems to work pretty well.

You're boyfriend just needs to accept the new choices you've made and respect them. You can still cook for him, he'll just have to be more open about having some vegetarian dinners. Vegetarianism is part of your identity now, and you'll just have to work around it if you're uncomfortable cooking meat.

Absurdum

No. My oh is also a vegetarian so it isn't an issue between us, I don't think I could be in a long-term relationship with a non-veggie anyway.

ztoical

This has been done to death a little on this forum and if other threads are anything to go by this may end up being a massive argument thread so just be warned.

Have said it several times that I won't cook meat for the main reason that I haven't eaten meat since I was 13, never really cooked anything at that age so I wouldn't have a clue how to cook meat, would be afraid of under cooking and making someone ill and can't really taste the food while cooking so wouldn't have a clue if what I'm serving up to people tastes nice as a result. If I cook for others I like to cook food I know I can cook and cook well.

I've never had any issues with boyfriends in the past but then I've dated guys who were kosher and another who had food allergy issues so maybe we were just more tolerant of each other to begin with.

smellslikeshoes

No I won't cook meat. It is their choice to eat meat and I'm not going to get on someone's case for eating meat but it's my choice to avoid all animal products, if they want it they can cook it themselves.

lalee17

I wouldn't cook meat under any circumstances for anyone, maybe I'm just stubborn that way. But I think it's kind of unfair of someone to ask a vegetarian to cook it.
Maybe this isn't the case for everyone, but it definitely is for me.

The Big Red Button

God, I'm not vegan or vegetarian or anything, but in my opinion it's really not on that he'd expect you to cook meat for him.

I eat meat, but absolutely hate fish for some reason - even the smell of it makes me squeamish. I often cook dinner for my family, but they would never expect me to make something with fish - why would they, when they know I'm not going to eat it?

Also, my OH and I are both pretty picky eaters. If we were cooking food for each other, it would just make sense to either make something that we both like - or to prepare separate meals.

I mean, if it were a case that you didn't mind cooking meat for him and didn't mind the fact that you were making all that effort and not even getting to eat any of it, then great. But if you're not comfortable handling meat, then I think it's really unfair if he gets narky about it!

Tar.Aldarion

I would prefer not to, and it's much handier to go out with veggie/vegan, and it's a trait I am attracted to a lot anyway. it wouldn't be much of an issue with somebody I go out with, because I wouldn't be going out with that person if little things like that were.

and also, if you don't cook meat for him OP, they do generally eat less of it I find....and more of the quorn you have made. :P

Kix

I used to, before my wife became veggie herself. I was a veggie, but I was also the cook. It wasn't very often, never more than once a week and usually a good bit less. She was happy eating vegetarian food the vast majority of the time.

I didn't mind too much; I didn't exactly enjoy cooking meat, but to a degree I was happy to do something for her that she seemed to enjoy.

I believe that it's not appropriate or constructive to judge other's dietary choices too harshly. I came to vegetarianism very gently, through the example of some friends who never evangelized or criticized. Their simple example was enough to make me think and figure things out on my own. Any negative reaction I've ever encountered from a meat eater is usually because they hear "vegetarian", instantly feel judged and react with hostility.

Anyhow, as I say, things are even easier now since she became veggie too!

ash2008

ash2008 wrote: »

cos it annoys him that i dont eat meat

I wouldn't cook meat for someone who was unable to accept that I have a right to make my own choices in my life.
Your boyfriends attitude sounds horribly self centred. I've gone out with meateaters in the past and never once had any kind of complaint or judgement.

I do cook meat for people who are nice to me.
It started out, that I had to cook it for someone who no longer able to do it for themselves.
It was difficult, because the smells disgusts me. I had a mental block about being around piles of dead animal. It became easier, it is still vaguely unpleasant, but it doesn't make me gag anymore.
I always buy things that can be cooked without me having to cut or touch them directly. Steak, stew. Simple things.
My sister and her boyfriend will cook something veggie, and some meat separately to toss in for him at the end.

fillefatale

I was mulling over this recently, as if I go to someone's house for dinner they have to prepare a vegetarian meal especially for me, but when they come to mine they have to eat what I provide. But surely because its my lifestyle choice it should be catered for? If someone was a coeliac, people would have to make allowances for that, so why not for my dietary choices? I'm really conflicted over this issue considering 90& of my friends either eat meat or fish.
However, the smell of meat cooking and its cooked/uncooked texture physically disgusts me. I don't cook it for my family.

But what about those working in restaurants? Obviously I have to serve and handle meat and I would take a job in a restaurant because beggars can't be choosers but I would have serious reservations about working on a deli counter, much to the chagrin of my parents.

On a side note, I did a Come Dine with Me event with my friends recently and I came last, and second last was my other vegetarian friend, I can't help but think that that is more than a coincidence tbh! People should be more open to peoples lifestyle choices particularly as vegetarian lifestyles are far more commonplace now.

Miss Lockhart

I can't stand the sight / smell of meat and like another poster said, because I'm veggie since i was 11, I 'm never sure if meat is properly cooked.

I have only one exception to my no-meat cooking rule and that is for my grandmother. I look after her and so I cook meat for her dinner. I hate it but I feel it is the right thing to do for her - she's 90. Thankfully she likes everything very well done - so less risk of poisoning!

trixabello

I have only been a vegetarian just over a year now, and I've been with my boyfriend for over 3 years. He accepted it straight away and ate most vegetarian meals I cooked, except tofu, but each to their own! I could never be with someone who doesn't accept the choices I make, especially if you feel really strongly about it. Sounds a bit controlling IMO.

Crumble Froo

after being in a relationship for 4 years with another vegetarian, i now find myself in a relationship with someone who doesnt consider it a meal if there isnt meat on it.

it hasn't happened yet, but i've told him that for special occasions, treats, and the like, nah, i dont mind cooking the meat for him, but, i wont purchase it. what he spends his money on is up to him, but im not spending my hard earned on something i disagree with so much.

however, i have said i will chip in if he was to buy free range meat rather than factory farmed meat. if it's gonna be bought anyway, i'd rather help him support the free range farmers than go for the factory farmed option.

also, i have warned him that im useless at cooking and require detailed instruction so as not to poison/kill him.

femur61

I cook meat for my kids and husband, in my 40's and haven't eat meat since I was a teenager. I wouldn't force my ideas on them.

Shenshen

ash2008 wrote: »

Hi,

i dont eat meat (although not a vegetarian cos i do still eat fish, but hopefully i can eventually cut that out too) whereas my bf is a big meat-lover. We have had arguments in the past, cos it annoys him that i dont eat meat - both the fact that he cant cook meat dishes for me and that i dont cook meat for him. It would just feel weird to me to be buying and cooking meat, surely if im doing all that i might as well eat it too.

But i spoke to a friend who is a strict vegetarian and she does cook meat for her boyfriend ,for eg she'd fry him a steak or cook up some mince etc..It got me thinking that maybe i should compromise more with my boyfriend and cook him some meat once in a while. After all, he still eats meat and he's going to eat it whether i cook it or not. And it might cut down the arguments. But it would just feel weird for me to handle meat.

Just wondering what everyone else's opinions are on this. Would you cook meat for your OH??

I would, but I would expect this to go both ways. If I cook meat for him, I would expect him to cook non-meat dishes for me as well.
However, I've only turned vegetarian about 2 years ago, and I'm still comfortable enough with cooking meat, I still know how to do it. Depending on how long you've been vegetarian yourself and how much meat you used to cook, you may not feel the same way.
If so, do talk about that to your BF.

femur61

I have to agree with the previous post in that if I go to a barbeque I wouldn't be expected to eat meat so why should I enforce my values on my husband. each to their own. I did a dregree in biology and the theory on evolution is that when we became meat eaters we evolved dramatically.

Linguo

I've been veggie for a long time and used to cook meat for my bf as well as veggie dishes and it inspired him to become veggie! It never bothered me because I really don't think you should force your views on anyone! We both cooked my dog a steak today and it was grand, although it made us both realise we really could never eat meat again!

Delicate_Dlite

I'm a veggie for quite a while now, and I've no problem cooking meat. I grew up learning to cook it, so I'm well able to. I love when meat-eaters make the effort and make a special effort to cook veggie for me, esp. as for most it means a lil homework and extra work.
As for
buying meat, I would only buy meat that I trust is free range.

But then again I also have to carry out disections for my degree, so I'm comfortable with dead animals. (That sounds very creepy! I apologise)

Hi, I'm new here btw!

sweet-rasmus

Delicate_Dlite wrote: »

I love when meat-eaters make the effort and make a special effort to cook veggie for me, esp. as for most it means a lil homework and extra work.

If you are happy to cook it for others, then I think you've made a great point with the above.

Hi, I'm new here btw!

Welcome indeed! Have a look around and throw in your comments. The more the merrier As you can see, we have a general chat thread if you want to say any old thing to us veggies. And there are plenty of threads a page or two back that you might find interesting, so do add to them. E.g. At what age did you turn veggie?

Ms. Koi

I've been vegetarian for four and a half years, with my boyfriend the same amount of time. He hasn't ever known anything different with me when it comes to food, it may annoy him but he doesn't mind!
When it comes to cooking food, I have cooked meat for him before, but mostly they have been chicken kievs etc that I take a tongs and put it in the oven. My mam usually checks the meat for me so I don't poison him.
He has eaten false mince etc when I've cooked it, he happily tried it out. He is quite a fussy eater too.
He would never force me to cook meat for him...if we are making dinner he always looks after his part of the meal...even when it comes to sausages under the grill. He's happy to take over the meat sections of meals!
I know I'm lucky to have someone so understanding of my decisions, but do try speak to your boyfriend about this, it's kind of unfair of him but he might just be looking out for your health...which is what my boyfriend says all the time when I feel weak...get a bit of steak into ya!! But he wouldn't ever force me!!


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