Need advice

LegacyUser

I was great friends with a man who was helping me deal with an ongoing problem in my life. We met up, and there was an attraction there between us, sparks flew!

Our friendship continued and he contiuned to help me with my problem. The problem effected my health and life severely and as a result my natural "Self" changed, and had become a negitive person, full of stress.

I couldn't help it, but because of this, he no longer speaks to me.

I was really attracted to him, and to be honest I fell in love, and I still love him to this day, as I felt he really took care of me, and was v kind.

Thing is, I was "Ill" that time, but now I am fine, and am completely back to myself. He does not know this, as he stopped talking to me a while ago.

I miss him so much, and its killing me. I don't know how he felt about me, as he has alot going on in his own life, but he has no idea NOW that I am 100% better, and am back to myself.

I have asked if we could give the "Friendship" another go, but he won't as he believes I am still "Ill", when now I am completely fine. He dosn't know I am ok now.

Is there anyway I could get my friendship back with this person, as I really miss him, I still love him (I don't know how he feels about me, although we flirted, and he said I was a good looking girl a number of times)

I would be really happy and delighted to have him back as a friend, if he does not want a relationship I am completely ok with that, just miss him. Honestly.


I would really appreciate some advice on this, as I miss him so much. Thanks

PS If anyone has any questions for clarity, please ask so I can get the best advice

Miss Fluff

To be honest your post is very vague and general.

What was the problem he helped with?

How were you "ill"?

How did he come in to your life? Was it solely for the purpose of helping you? (was it a patient and counsellor situation for example?)

How long have you known him?

What happened that he no longer wants to speak with you or be involved? Did you have some sort of argument?

smiles302

Sent him an email, explaining that you miss him, and I imagine you have a doctor's cert of some sort if you were ill and am now better? You could scan that in and send it if he doesn't believe you are better?

Otherwise explain yourself as best you can, and then you can only hope for the best.

He might want to be friends, he might want to wait until he has sorted out his own problems and then be friends or he may not want to ever be friends again. Just put all your cards on the table and let him get back to you.

LegacyUser

Miss Fluff wrote: »

To be honest your post is very vague and general.

What was the problem he helped with?

How were you "ill"?

How did he come in to your life? Was it solely for the purpose of helping you? (was it a patient and counsellor situation for example?)

How long have you known him?

What happened that he no longer wants to speak with you or be involved? Did you have some sort of argument?

It was an ongoing problem in my life that is now sorted out. How did I become "Ill"? Well the problem had engulfed my life to such a decree that I was full of stress, and was mentally breaking down over a number of months.

I got to know him, as he went through something the same himself, and managed to make contact with him, meet him etc. No he was not a councellor or professional, but a really kind considerate and caring person.

He no longer speaks to me, because he thinks I am too stressed and the problem has completely taken me over. He does not know that NOW I am 100% well, and back to myself, and the problem is sorted out.

I have known him for a good while, and he never really got to know the "Real" me, as I was really upset when I met him, and during the time I knew him. Thankfully, the real me is back, after a hard battle, and I'm myself, and am doing really well now.

I asked him if we could be friends again, but he told me more or less to get lost as he does not know its all sorted out, and I am myself, a happy girl again. Maybe I should take his advice and f**k off?

I don't know what to do, only I continue to miss him. I REALLY do not want to annoy him in anyway so if leaving it is the best thing to do, let me know

LegacyUser

OP here. Once or twice I have been considering pouring my heart out to him and how I really feel about him. Would this be a completely idiotic thing to do? I don't want to look completely stupid or desperate, but what would peoples' thoughts be on this? Its killing me how much I miss him, and I am heart broken, I hate being so sensitive
Thanks everyone

Miss Fluff

I find it very very strange that someone you would deem to be such a good friend would cut you off like that. I mean surely someone you class as a friend would support you through thick and thin? If they have made it clear they don't want you in their life I would be inclined to leave it.

If you feel compelled to let them know you are no longer ill then by all means write them a letter but I'd be doing this thinking it is a mental feng shui exercise rather than hoping anything will come of it be honest. If they no longer want to be part of your life you have to accept that.

RodSteel

Unregistered wrote: »

It was an ongoing problem in my life that is now sorted

What exactly was the problem?

mood

Miss Fluff wrote: »

I find it very very strange that someone you would deem to be such a good friend would cut you off like that. I mean surely someone you class as a friend would support you through thick and thin? If they have made it clear they don't want you in their life I would be inclined to leave it.

If you feel compelled to let them know you are no longer ill then by all means write them a letter but I'd be doing this thinking it is a mental feng shui exercise rather than hoping anything will come of it be honest. If they no longer want to be part of your life you have to accept that.

I agree.

fungun

you are still very vague about the problem but do state that it affected you mentally.
Im not sure why he then decided he couldnt be friends but he has - perhaps he felt like a counsellor to you and that you were falling in love just because you needed him?

Your compelling need to tell him you are fine now is coming across as a little bit obsessive from your posts tbh. To me you sound like you are trying to convince yourself a little bit still. No one will believe a letter saying you are fine anyway, and if he thought you were a 'stressed' person then running around trying to convince him you are fine isnt going to change his mind.

Id leave it if I were you; he doesnt want to meet you right now: maybe in time if your paths cross and he sees you fine he will come around but i dont think you can do anything to 'convince' him about this right now.

LegacyUser

Unregistered wrote: »

He does not know that NOW I am 100% well, and back to myself, and the problem is sorted out.

It sounds like you've worked very hard to get yourself back on track. But if your problem was sorted out (like you say) you wouldn't need this man to validate you. You would take his word when he says he doesn't want to see you anymore.
Not being able to see someone you really like hurts badly, but you'll have to listen to his request and try to get through this bad patch without him.

Sebastien De Valmont

He's a player.

He didn't come crawling back on hands and knees and that turns you on.

You would have absolutely zero respect for him if he supplicated to you.

Reading between the lines the guy has lots of other options so if you don't get together with him he has other women.

He sounds like he is a real man rather than a wimp.

You have to move fast or he is going to slip through your fingers.

It's your move.

Not his.