Should I tell her?

LegacyUser

There is this girl who I really like and care about and we get on very well and can talk really easily together and I have known her for about 2 years. Although I have always liked her I never said anything because she was in a relationship up until recently and I suppose I didn't want to risk losing her as a friend.

However now I have heard she is thinking about getting back with her ex who broke her heart and made her so unhappy for the last few months.

I want to know should I tell her how I feel about her as I really cannot stand the thought of her being upset all over again she is too nice to deserve that. I just want her to know that I care about her and I don't want to see her being as upset as she has been recently again.

SueWho

Just be clear on what you want to say to her. Are you saying "don't get back with that ass cos he upset you and you're my friend and I care" or are you saying "don't get back with him because by the way I've been meaning to tell you that I am interested in you in more than a friend way" or both? I'd say be open with her but be careful not to wreck your friendship with her either. Good luck!

LegacyUser

OP here. I suppose what I really want to tell her is that I like her more than a friend and I care about her a lot and that I think she deserves better than her ex.

I know she has some confidence issues and I think she thinks she cant do any better but she really can and even if not with me with someone who will treat her well and look after her.

I guess what I am looking for in terms of advice is how I should go about telling her how I feel about her and how I dont want to see her hurt, can I do the two at the same time?

Thanks.

LegacyUser

I think you should tell her. My now boyfriend was in a pretty identical situation, we'd known each other for 2 years and had been really close friends. I was in a relationship for much of this time, but when that ended he plucked up the courage to tell me how he felt. Best decision ever

So, tell her!!! However, I wouldn't bring her ex into it. Simply tell her how you feel, none of this "you deserve better than him" or anything. Don't make it like a competition for her, or make it seem like you're sabotaging him - no matter how bad he is for her, in this situation you're trying to move away from being a friend for a few moments. So go for it, in a sensitive way. What's meant to be, will be

LegacyUser

Dont mention her Ex..

just ask her out.. explain that you like her, there might be a slight risk to your friendship..

but if you get on well, i am sure she will understand. Also, she may feel the same way, but assumed you are not interested. You never know unless you speak up..


do it... and dont waste anymore time.

kjl

she know how you feel about her, I'm pretty sure of that.

I would say if you told her you can pretty much say goodbye to the friendship.

Elessar

I'm entirely against sitting a girl down and telling her how you "feel". That's a bit weird and might make her uncomfortable and weird her out.

Ask her out, just the two of you. But be warned, she may already have placed you firmly in the Friendzone.