Like my lecturer

LegacyUser

I really like my lecturer but I don't know how to make a move. We get on really well but I doubt he'd ever ask me out due to his position, although I'm quite sure he likes me too.
I am a mature part time student (we are around the same age) so it's not really controversial, but I've never asked anyone out and don't want to make it awkward

LegacyUser

unregistered wrote: »

I really like my lecturer but I don't know how to make a move. We get on really well but I doubt he'd ever ask me out due to his position, although I'm quite sure he likes me too.
I am a mature part time student (we are around the same age) so it's not really controversial, but I've never asked anyone out and don't want to make it awkward

I'm a lecturer and I can tell you unequivocally, DO NOT make a move on this man. He is not allowed to date his students so you will only make a fool of yourself.

It is quite common for students to develop a crush on us lecturers so you're likely one of many. Regardless, he cannot date you. If you really like him wait till you are no longer his student and then ask him out. He'll still likely say no though. Dating students, even ex-students, is just seen as sleazy.

LegacyUser

Op here. Thanks for the reply- but you really rained on my parade! I thought lecturers could date students- it was just frowned upon especially in the case of young students/ undergrads or if the lecturers were much older?

We are already closer than most - we email a lot, (although it's usually related to college we joke around). After a meeting with him he asked if I wanted to go down for coffee and now everytime I have class we go for coffee together, or lunch if I'm in on a Saturday, and just chat. He always invites me to academic talks in various places and offers me a lift with him, or phones me when he's there to meet up. I have't ever seen him having coffee with any of the others.

This is why I'm sure he likes me. Are you sure it's so frowned upon. I am an adult!

pookie82

Of course it's frowned upon and not because of age differences. If you enter a relationship with this man he has the power to manipulate your grades and results based on favouritism.

Taking any action could put his job at risk so get it out of your head until you're at a stage where he is no longer in a position of authority over you or your grades and don't make a fool of yourself.

LegacyUser

Op

If things are going well now, why fix whats not broken. why not just wait and see how it develops?
When you are finished your course if there is something there then it will continue. Are you sure he is interested in you "relationship wise" or is it just as friends?
You say that you are about the same age.. maybe he likes having someone to relate to thats not a young student?
Has he ever given you the impression that he would like to take it further or if the lecturer was female (I assume you are female) and treating you the same would you still feel like you do?

IMO if you ask him out and get rejected, it would ruin a perfectly good relationship (friendship).

kjl

lecturerhere wrote: »

I'm a lecturer and I can tell you unequivocally, DO NOT make a move on this man. He is not allowed to date his students so you will only make a fool of yourself.

It is quite common for students to develop a crush on us lecturers so you're likely one of many. Regardless, he cannot date you. If you really like him wait till you are no longer his student and then ask him out. He'll still likely say no though. Dating students, even ex-students, is just seen as sleazy.

Thats rubbish, I know loads of lectures who went out with students. Openly

fungun

Wait til you are not his student any more and if you still feel the same then, go for it

LegacyUser

I'm also a lecturer, and I'd strongly advise not to pursue a relationship. Firstly, lecturers can take a professional interest in students - particularly if they are talented, motivated or keen (it's rarer than you might think to have students like this) - and it's easy for students to mistake this interest as "liking" them, particularly if there is not much of an age difference. Professional and personal interest are really different things, and from a student's perspective, it's not always easy to tell the difference.

If you really like this guy, you should also not want to put him in an awkward position. As others have posted, you could wait to see what develops after you have finished the course.

And it's not just considered sleazy for lecturers to date students regardless of the age difference, it's also highly unprofessional and leaves the lecturer's credibility open to question and also can impact your reputation as well (she only gets good grades cause she's banging the lecturer). You don't want to work hard at your course only to have your integrity brought into question. In this country, this is the kind of gossip that can follow you into your career.

steddyeddy

Well theres no law against dating students its up to the individual uni to have regulations about it as far as im aware there is a bit of a stigma attached but id ignore that really and follow your heart. to echo the last poster id wait untill your finished your studies.

LegacyUser

I really find it hysterical that you have two lecturers in this thread informing the OP on what the lay of the land is around this and yet you have people who DO NOT work as lecturers pretending they know all.

Perhaps those thinking they know the answers never went to university or are only speaking of IT's where the rules are less stringent, as far as I know.

As the lecturer above me stated, many of us take a professional, academic interest in students. This includes inviting them to academic talks, lunches and what not. This should not be confused with romantic interest. It is purely professional.

This year I witnessed a postgraduate student confuse the two. She made an absolute fool out of herself by thinking because her lecturer invited her for coffee he wanted to date her. It became so awkward for her that she has had to take a year off.

Seriously OP, listen to the two people on here who actually know what we are talking about.

fungun

lecturerhere wrote: »

I really find it hysterical that you have two lecturers in this thread informing the OP on what the lay of the land is around this and yet you have people who DO NOT work as lecturers pretending they know all.

Seriously OP, listen to the two people on here who actually know what we are talking about.

Rather insulting tbf. And arrogant. Typical academics.

So she should only listen to academics viewpoints because they have the only valid opinions on this? What toss!!

For me, Ive worked through a PhD and postdoc in 3 universities, currently working in collaboration with 4 other unis and have seen multiple interactions like those described above and seen places where relationships have developed between students and lecturers.....some good, some bad, some no more than shagging. It happens more than you might think.

Oh but since you are a lecturer my opinion doesnt count, sorry i forgot.:rolleyes:

epgc3fyqirnbsx

Tbh, OP is looking for advice regarding interest in a lecturer. Two lecturers are stating DO NOT proceed. Not even a maybe. I would take their advice as they are more qualified to give an opinion, and we're not talking academic qualifications

fungun

im not talking about qualifications, im talking about having seen lecturer-student relns happening, which is actually completely on the point.
And its a narrow viewpoint that thinks the advice looked for is just on the legality/rules of it, there are other aspects to the question too, so other opinions still have value.

miss5

OP one of my friends developed a crush on one of her lecturers this year
and pursued it despite his interest in her being professional, She really
humiliated herself, I believe it is hugely frowned upon and good lecturers
will take an interest in their students, I suggest perhaps talk with him privately
when you are finished your course, Until then I honestly don't think it's a good
idea. I think you should listen to the lecturer's who posted above as they would
have relevant experience dealing with this.

You will make an absolute fool of yourself.

My boyfriend is a teacher (of adults, he teaches ESL) and one of his students wrote him this awful, cringey e-mail about how gorgeous he is and how attracted she is to him and wants to go out on a date with him. My BF would be very open and friendly as well, he often goes to the pub with several of his students but that's all it is. He was mortified to get this email and had to report it to the director of the school, who had to call the student and explain that emails like that are out of order, and she was so embarrassed that she left. I have several friends who lecture as well and relationships between lecturers and students are strictly forbidden.

Are you even sure he likes you? I've encountered a few people (girl mentioned above being the worst one) who were basically quite deluded when it came to thinking there was something there when there wasn't. I go for coffee with lecturers all the time, purely academic chat and networking. Lecturers like motivated students. And why are you even assuming he's single? It's fairly likely he's got a wife or girlfriend at home.

I would just say, steer clear. A lecturer I used to have had a relationship with a student and got her pregnant and his reputation is still in the gutter, years later, as is hers. Ireland is a small country, news spreads.

zxcvbnm1

[quote=[Deleted User];66407410] He was mortified to get this email and had to report it to the director of the school, who had to call the student and explain that emails like that are out of order, and she was so embarrassed that she left.
[/QUOTE]?

Forwarding it onto the director was probably a bit unnecessary was it not ?
The poor girl will remember that mortifying experience for years to come i'd imagine.

OP - this is dodgy territory. In that - if he's not interested it will be embarrassing and you won't be able to avoid him.

If you really are driven demented by him, then try a subtle suggestion for an event that could be interpreted by him as an advance on your part but whereby if he says no you will be able to save face.
But i would steer clear unless you really belive there is a good chance of him reciprocating.

zxcvbnm1

zxcvbnm1 wrote: »

?

Forwarding it onto the director was probably a bit unnecessary was it not ?
The poor girl will remember that mortifying experience for years to come i'd imagine.

OP - this is dodgy territory. In that - if he's not interested it will be embarrassing and you won't be able to avoid him.

If you really are driven demented by him, then try a subtle suggestion for an event that could be interpreted by him as an advance on your part but whereby if he says no you will be able to save face.
But i would steer clear unless you really belive there is a good chance of him reciprocating.

Unnecessary? Not at all. It's school policy to do that and also bloody good common sense. This woman was already deluded enough to send my boyfriend a love letter, when she knew he had a long term girlfriend he moved over here to be with. She'd read romantic advances into the most innocent of gestures. What if she started telling other people he'd come onto her, or worse? My boyfriend was not going to lose his job and possibly end up facing charges over a lonely woman with far too much time on her hands and an overactive imagination. If that's harsh, so be it. These things do happen. I actually don't think I've ever met a male ESL teacher who hadn't had some sort of advance like that from a female student. It's weird. I've had a fair few pervy men in my class, and one half jokey invitation to a gig but not these 'I'm in love with you' epic letters the men seem to get. The male lecturers I know would have had similar experiences. I just don't understand it myself.

steddyeddy

lecturerhere wrote: »

I really find it hysterical that you have two lecturers in this thread informing the OP on what the lay of the land is around this and yet you have people who DO NOT work as lecturers pretending they know all.

Perhaps those thinking they know the answers never went to university or are only speaking of IT's where the rules are less stringent, as far as I know.

As the lecturer above me stated, many of us take a professional, academic interest in students. This includes inviting them to academic talks, lunches and what not. This should not be confused with romantic interest. It is purely professional.

This year I witnessed a postgraduate student confuse the two. She made an absolute fool out of herself by thinking because her lecturer invited her for coffee he wanted to date her. It became so awkward for her that she has had to take a year off.

Seriously OP, listen to the two people on here who actually know what we are talking about.

I know exactly what you mean i am a zoologist and i opened a thread here recently of that nature and i found it hysterical that people who DO NOT work as zoologists disagreed with me!

Get real your a lecturer so people should agree with you on any topic that involves lectures? In any situation there are variables you seem to be only considering your own experiences and views on the situation while refusing to see that others exist.

Perhaps those thinking they know the answers never went to university or are only speaking of IT's where the rules are less stringent, as far as I know.

Thinking they know the anwsers? sorry to break it too you but every one is entitled to their opinion and every answer is perfectly valid, true the lecturers here provided valuable infsight into their own experiences but most of us have experience of crushs ect, there are many comparable situations. Life is often the best teacher.


The truth is op dating a lecturer isnt very common but it does happen i know students and lecturers who married, therapists and clients ect but there is a higher risk factor for these and again it is very easy to confuse concern and interest for sexual attraction, it could go well for you or it could go horrible for you and end up making your time at uni akward.

does he only talk with you about college work ect or does he steer the conversation to matters in everyday life?

pwd

If you like him, don't make a move on him. Making a move on him would be an asshole thing to do. The reasons are already mentioned pretty much.

pwd

pwd wrote: »

If you like him, don't make a move on him. Making a move on him would be an asshole thing to do. The reasons are already mentioned pretty much.

+1

Perhaps I'm a weirdo but I've never made a move on anyone. If I like them and they like me, it happens naturally. If the lecturer likes OP and is in a position to do something about it, surely he'd have said something by now? I don't see what telling him her feelings could achieve other than creating an incredibly awkward and embarrassing situation.

As for the lecturers who are posting, well perhaps they know more about the codes and rules for lecturer-student relationships? Of course they happen but that doesn't mean it's acceptable.

Trashbat

[quote=[Deleted User];66410481]

As for the lecturers who are posting, well perhaps they know more about the codes and rules for lecturer-student relationships?Of course they happen but that doesn't mean it's acceptable.[/QUOTE]

This is very true. More importantly they are in the position to fully assess the consequences for the lecturer, which i doubt OP has considered, due to the emotional aspect of the situation.

To advise someone to take any course of action other than backing off is very irresponsible. This could be very damaging to a potentially innocent party here. Relationships where there is any potential abuse of trust or position are wrong. Just because they happen doesn't make it right.

LegacyUser

I'm getting a lot of flack for my second post. Perhaps I phrased it incorrectly.
What I'm saying is that, as lecturers we are more familiar with the rules/guidelines/expectations around this stuff than people who are not lecturers!

As Chana Quick Forklift pointed out, the first thing this person would have to do once you declared your attraction is report it to his department head. This is to cover his own arse. You would be surprised the way people react when they face rejection or low marks!

If the feeling was mutual, as in he wanted a relationship with you, he would also have to do this and efforts made to ensure that you had NO professional connection whatsoever - so you could not be in his courses, he could not be your supervisor etc.

No one is denying that it doesn't happen - but there are some people in this world who make mistakes or have no morals. That doesn't make the situation right! Nor does it make it any less awkward for the people involved.

And for those who said that they've seen people marry their lecturers - yes but I'm willing to bet that these are examples of people who waited until AFTER their course was finished before pursuing anything, as the OP was advised.

This happens on a regular basis - at least once a year to most of us. And there are strict guidelines for us to follow in the event of a student developing an unhealthy idea of what the relationship entails. First step is report to the department head. Second step is call the student into a meeting. Would you like to go through that OP?

Also, as others have rightly pointed out OP, just because he has taken a professional interest in you (and from what you describe that is all it is, 100% professional) does not mean he is romantically interested in you. And just because he hasn't mentioned a partner at home doesn't mean he is single - we lecturers often never speak of private lives even to our colleagues because it is seen as unprofessional. I've been working in the same university for 4 years and none of my colleagues know my marital status, alone say my students!

Be wise here woman and do not say or do anything that will jeapordise your ability to complete your studies in a proper and professional way.

mood

[quote=[Deleted User];66408425]Unnecessary? Not at all. It's school policy to do that and also bloody good common sense. This woman was already deluded enough to send my boyfriend a love letter, when she knew he had a long term girlfriend he moved over here to be with. She'd read romantic advances into the most innocent of gestures. What if she started telling other people he'd come onto her, or worse? My boyfriend was not going to lose his job and possibly end up facing charges over a lonely woman with far too much time on her hands and an overactive imagination. If that's harsh, so be it. These things do happen. I actually don't think I've ever met a male ESL teacher who hadn't had some sort of advance like that from a female student. It's weird. I've had a fair few pervy men in my class, and one half jokey invitation to a gig but not these 'I'm in love with you' epic letters the men seem to get. The male lecturers I know would have had similar experiences. I just don't understand it myself.[/QUOTE]

I would think that such policies are in place to protect protect students, staff and the college it's self. I sure they don't want a load of sexual harassment cases against them! Such policies are good IMO.

krudler

Its frowned upon alright, possibly a sackable offence depending on the college. buy him a hotplate, see what happens

LegacyUser

zxcvbnm1 wrote: »

?

Forwarding it onto the director was probably a bit unnecessary was it not ?
The poor girl will remember that mortifying experience for years to come i'd imagine.

As others have rightly pointed out, this is to protect the lecturer from allegations of harrassment. Spurned students have a way of making life very difficult for the object of their affections and it is wise to make supervisors aware of any such situation as soon as it arises. Lecturers are also encouraged to document any further interactions with students - again, just in case.

And as I mentioned before, it can also compromise your own position, OP. My partner does a course in the same university in which I work. I have nothing to do with the course - it's not even in a field in which I am qualified. We do not interact on campus in any manner which would suggest we're a couple - indeed, we barely see each other. And yet, other students assume we're together and make snide remarks about his good grades being a result of my input!! So much for his own brain - or for my integrity.

In the past I've had students - particularly mature age students - think that we are "friends" or more because we're a similar age and take liberties based on that assumed friendship. It's awkward all around, particularly when they take grades as a personal affront.

The other thing I would suggest is don't underestimate the seductive power of intellectual attraction. Your lecturer is expert in an area that you are interested in. You're able to have interesting conversations. Lecturers honestly do like talking about their fields of research, so to have a willing audience outside a lecture theatre is very appealing! But again, this NOT the same as romantic interest - though it's easy to mix up. Who wouldn't feel special if their lecturer paid them more attention, invited them to coffee and talks, was interested in your ideas and interpretations. It's INCREDIBLY seductive!

And for those of you who comment on the many, many relationships that happen between lecturers and students - yes, it's true - but for as many as you can tell me about, I can show you the aftermath - humiliation as the lecturer moves onto a new bright-eyed, bushy-tailed conquest, rejection as the student's intellectual curiosity changes track or when the student is no longer super impressed with the lecturer and all she/he "knows". It's such a cliche, it's not funny.

It's not a matter of lecturers knowing better - it's really just a matter of having been there, done that over and over and over. It rarely works out, and it's usually the student who suffers.

LegacyUser

You're course will eventually come to an end. Only then should you think about saying/doing anything if you still think you should. If its meant to be, left it until should a time that its suitable and fair on you both. Believe that only then, there may be a chance of something developing and if not you save both of you a lot of embarrassment and awkardness.

magneticimpulse

I agree this is a bad move. If she is that keen and he is that keen...surely OP can at least wait until she is finished her course. It doesnt sound like the OP has much to go on and she will make a fool of herself. If anything, id let the other guy make the move before OP would.

Although it is true that I have heard/seen of a Prof and his student getting together and they are now married. They were in UK and I think she was still in her 4th year Degree class. (Im currently finishing PhD at University). If you saw them, you would know they are very suited to each other. They are both tall and lanky, and geeky. I suppose since they seem so interested in the same topic, a common interest it brought them together. Yeah people whispered that it must have been an advantage for her grades...but she is now working with him doing research.

Lots of the senior people I work with got together with other people in the lab while doing PhDs...so most likely people in Academia stick with other liked minded people and get on really well.

I just would wait until you were finished OP or wait for him to make the move. If he really really liked you, im sure he would make the move. If he doesnt, id just put it down to him being nice. They could be gay/single/married, who knows.

pwd

magneticimpulse wrote: »

I agree this is a bad move. If she is that keen and he is that keen...surely OP can at least wait until she is finished her course. It doesnt sound like the OP has much to go on and she will make a fool of herself. If anything, id let the other guy make the move before OP would.

Although it is true that I have heard/seen of a Prof and his student getting together and they are now married. They were in UK and I think she was still in her 4th year Degree class. (Im currently finishing PhD at University). If you saw them, you would know they are very suited to each other. They are both tall and lanky, and geeky. I suppose since they seem so interested in the same topic, a common interest it brought them together. Yeah people whispered that it must have been an advantage for her grades...but she is now working with him doing research.

Lots of the senior people I work with got together with other people in the lab while doing PhDs...so most likely people in Academia stick with other liked minded people and get on really well.

I just would wait until you were finished OP or wait for him to make the move. If he really really liked you, im sure he would make the move. If he doesnt, id just put it down to him being nice. They could be gay/single/married, who knows.

That's a professor though. People that high up don't have to have tidy gardens.

Personally I can't get how a student would like a lecturer like that anyway though. I've never been comfortable with overly familiar people in authority. I tried a few days ago. Someone suggested I treated my supervisor like a regular guy, on the way into a meeting, after I commented on a cheeky remark the lecturer had made to me. So I tried that; started a bit of banter. He didn't like it very much. That's why I don't like friendly bosses. Then again I'm a friendly boss and I don't do that. But then I don't take the piss out of people I'm in charge of. Or try to get off with them. wtf like.

dublingal80

op, if i was you i wouldnt make a move.

He has been the one to ask you out for coffee and out to talks or whatever, so he isnt shy in contacting you, so he shouldnt be shy in making a move

I see it that he hasnt made a move so far so he sees you as a friend. thats it.

LegacyUser

Hi Op here. Thanks for the replies. I think you are all right, I'm still his student so it's not going to happen. We are going to a play at the weekend together so I think I'll just enjoy getting to be his friend and if eventually, when I'm finished my studies and if we're still friends, I'll see how I feel then.

mood

unregistered wrote: »

Hi Op here. Thanks for the replies. I think you are all right, I'm still his student so it's not going to happen. We are going to a play at the weekend together so I think I'll just enjoy getting to be his friend and if eventually, when I'm finished my studies and if we're still friends, I'll see how I feel then.

Thats good. How much longer have you on the course?

LegacyUser

Going to see a play with this lecturer too, on your own, on a weekend....
I'd a classmate who was great friends with our lecturer, daily early morning coffee breaks, long advice sessions, phonecalls, ect ect. It all petered out post-graduation, they've both moved on...years later, noone has any respect for their past behavior (even though both parties claimed to be just friends also) & consider this classmates "honours" degree a complete farce. Which is a shame, because the student was genuinely quite intelligent& a hard worker. But boundaries were blurred.
Fire ahead with this friendship, but tongues wag (esp in Ireland) so don't expect to be considered professionally on your own merits, now or future dealings. Your reputation is in grave danger as it stands.

steddyeddy

guest, tread carefully wrote: »

Going to see a play with this lecturer too, on your own, on a weekend....
I'd a classmate who was great friends with our lecturer, daily early morning coffee breaks, long advice sessions, phonecalls, ect ect. It all petered out post-graduation, they've both moved on...years later, noone has any respect for their past behavior (even though both parties claimed to be just friends also) & consider this classmates "honours" degree a complete farce. Which is a shame, because the student was genuinely quite intelligent& a hard worker. But boundaries were blurred.
Fire ahead with this friendship, but tongues wag (esp in Ireland) so don't expect to be considered professionally on your own merits, now or future dealings. Your reputation is in grave danger as it stands.

In fairness if the lecturer asked the op to a play even if she goes its him who should thread carefully, who ever asked the bottom line is hes going to a play on the weekend if he isnt interested in the op hes leading her on.

LegacyUser

Hi op here. I see your problem but it's not like that. He was supposed to be going with his friend and he pulled out, I had mentioned before I liked this play when I read it so when he had a spare ticket he asked did I want it. It is defo not a date or anything more, it's very casual

pwd

unregistered wrote: »

Hi op here. I see your problem but it's not like that. He was supposed to be going with his friend and he pulled out, I had mentioned before I liked this play when I read it so when he had a spare ticket he asked did I want it. It is defo not a date or anything more, it's very casual

I would bet you he got the ticket for you and the "friend pulling out" thing is just to make it seem casual, no pressure etc. I'd certainly think that you're correct in thinking he likes you after reading that.
I surprised that he is the one acting on this. I think it's more likely to have negative consequences for him than for you. I also think he should be in an aware and responsible mindset, in his position. No offence, but a lecturer who asks a student out just sounds like a dodgy fncker to me tbh.

Moomoo1

I think that most people on here misunderstood what OP's question really is. She's not asking 'is it appropriate to go out with one's lecturer' (the answer to that one is of course 'it can be'), she's asking how to show one's interest without saying it in so many words. How to make it clear you want to get off with someone without actually saying it (and risking him turning out to be a psycho and reporting you).

Any ideas?

pwd

Moomoo1 wrote: »

I think that most people on here misunderstood what OP's question really is. She's not asking 'is it appropriate to go out with one's lecturer' (the answer to that one is of course 'it can be'), she's asking how to show one's interest without saying it in so many words. How to make it clear you want to get off with someone without actually saying it (and risking him turning out to be a psycho and reporting you).

Any ideas?

If someone asked you how to cut their finger off, telling them they shouldn't cut their finger off wouldn't indicate you didn't understand the question. An extreme example, but the same principle is true here.

Moomoo1

Ok, fair enough, you think that going out with one's lecturer is as bad as cutting one's finger off, I think we've established that.

But the question remains: how can the OP indicate interest without saying as much?

LegacyUser

It doesn't matter a damn who asked who, how the invite came about, how innocent it all is- the point is, to the outside world, it's inappropriate& will come across as you trying to curry favours pre-exams.
Can you not wait til your degree is complete? This would give you an idea if this is something serious, or just a convenient distraction for you both. Both your reputations intact, any potential relationship on more solid footing(don't try telling me you wouldn't be thinking he'd try it on with future students if that's how you relationship started)....win win!

steddyeddy

Moomoo1 wrote: »

Ok, fair enough, you think that going out with one's lecturer is as bad as cutting one's finger off, I think we've established that.

But the question remains: how can the OP indicate interest without saying as much?

well she said she would go to the play with him so thats a start

pwd

Moomoo1 wrote: »

Ok, fair enough, you think that going out with one's lecturer is as bad as cutting one's finger off, I think we've established that.

But the question remains: how can the OP indicate interest without saying as much?

No I said it was an extreme example. Trying to use large brush strokes to help you wrap your head around the concept.

Silverfish

Can we keep this a) Civil b) Helpful and c) on topic.


Thank you.

Moomoo1

pwd wrote: »

No I said it was an extreme example. Trying to use large brush strokes to help you wrap your head around the concept.

Really glad we've finally established that.

Now let's discuss the question I bolded above.

tipp.angel

unregistered wrote: »

I really like my lecturer but I don't know how to make a move. We get on really well but I doubt he'd ever ask me out due to his position, although I'm quite sure he likes me too.
I am a mature part time student (we are around the same age) so it's not really controversial, but I've never asked anyone out and don't want to make it awkward

Hey just found this...since the post was two years ago..did anything ever happen between you and the lecturer????

Taltos

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