amazing guy bad hygiene..help!!

LegacyUser

hi all, please help,,meet a great guy soo nice and kind. Really like him but one problem..his hygiene..
well he does shower its more his teeth they look like they could grow mushrooms.. he wears his clothes too much without washing them.. and his socks..I know this is shallow thats why i want to find a solution because I like him
I told him a story about this guy i know at work who smells and he agreed that it was gross, but he doesnt get it :-(
he never cleans his teeth when he comes over.. also he is beyond a toothbrush.. he needs plaque removal..

Emme

Hygenix wrote: »

hi all, please help,,meet a great guy soo nice and kind. Really like him but one problem..his hygiene..
well he does shower its more his teeth they look like they could grow mushrooms.. he wears his clothes too much without washing them.. and his socks..I know this is shallow thats why i want to find a solution because I like him
I told him a story about this guy i know at work who smells and he agreed that it was gross, but he doesnt get it :-(
he never cleans his teeth when he comes over.. also he is beyond a toothbrush.. he needs plaque removal..

You are not being shallow. If this guy can't make an effort with his hygiene at the start of a relationship it doesn't bode well for the future. He doesn't think you're worth the effort of putting on clean clothes and brushing his teeth. There is no excuse for poor hygiene - imagine later on trying to do the deed with him - icky icky icky! :eek:

IMHO poor hygiene is a deal breaker. Tell him straight out that you would like him to shower, brush his teeth and wear clean (fresh) clothes and if he doesn't like it let him go.

LegacyUser

HI Emme, thanks for response... I just told him I didnt wanna meet him,, I feel so bad.but good point people usually stop making an effort a few months in!
Question is how do I tell him subtly.. without hurting his feelings..? Thanks!!

OS119

hygenix wrote: »

...Question is how do I tell him subtly.. without hurting his feelings..?

he has been told subtly - i assume he has a nose, and walks past mirrors occasionally, and has probably been exposed to 20-odd years of non-stop education that people need to brush their teeth twice a day?

so he does know that he doesn't brush his teeth enough and wears smelly clothes, he just can't be arsed to do anything about it...

i'd tell him out right, lay some ground rules - teeth brushed morning and night, underwear, socks and t-shirt changed and washed everyday, trousers and fleece changed and washed every other day, anti-persperant deoderant to be used everyday, shower everyday with soap/shower gel, and a dentist booked to sort his festering mouth out.

no point worrying about him storming off in a cloud of BO, even if he's the 'greatest guy ever', you aren't going to be seeing him in a month if he stinks like a dead tramp...

LegacyUser

He is not a great catch if he can't be bothered to keep himself clean. He has very little respect for himself. Bottom line is if he has no respect for himself, he'll have no respect for you

Emme

hygenix wrote: »

HI Emme, thanks for response... I just told him I didnt wanna meet him,, I feel so bad.but good point people usually stop making an effort a few months in!
Question is how do I tell him subtly.. without hurting his feelings..? Thanks!!

Subtle doesn't work with these people, believe me. If it did they wouldn't be walking around smelling like a landfill site. If he doesn't contact you again consider it a blessing but I've a feeling he might be hard to shake off. OS119 made some good suggestions. I'm afraid you'll have to be blunt and tell him straight out to clean up his act and if he doesn't like it you're well rid.

LegacyUser

I told him.. In an obscure round-about way... he doesnt seemed ashamed at all.. maybe he is not so wonderful actually..

Thanks for all your advice ...I will give it one more chance and then forget about it