Staying at my boyfriends?

LegacyUser

I apologise in advance if I ramble on!
I'm a 19yr old girl and I'm in my first vaguely serious relationship. We've been seeing eachother for a month and things are going really well. We both still live with our parents and haven't had a chance to spend the night together yet but his parents are going away this weekend so he's cooking dinner and I'm going to stay over. The prblem is...well, I don't really know how this whole situation plays out!

I know that sounds stupid or that I'm "not mature enough to have sex", but I'm not even a virgin! The thing is that when I lost my virginity me and the guy were both quite drunk and just went straight to sex but anyother time I've gone home intending to have sex with someone foreplay just took over. I don't know how to move on from that! I mean, you're hardly meant to say "Stop <insert appropriate sexual act>-ing me, I want to have sex now."

Also when you're giving a guy oral or a handjob and he tells you that he's coming, what are supposed to do with that??? I get that they don't want to come all over you unexpectedly but are you supposed to tell them where to come or not to come or what?

I can't talk to my friends about it because they already find my lack of experience kind of amusing (though tbh I think some of my friends are kinda sluts ) and I don't want to bring it up with my boyfriend either, it would totally ruin the mood!
Thanks for any help!

Faith

whatismyusername wrote: »

I apologise in advance if I ramble on!
I'm a 19yr old girl and I'm in my first vaguely serious relationship. We've been seeing eachother for a month and things are going really well. We both still live with our parents and haven't had a chance to spend the night together yet but his parents are going away this weekend so he's cooking dinner and I'm going to stay over. The prblem is...well, I don't really know how this whole situation plays out!

I know that sounds stupid or that I'm "not mature enough to have sex", but I'm not even a virgin! The thing is that when I lost my virginity me and the guy were both quite drunk and just went straight to sex but anyother time I've gone home intending to have sex with someone foreplay just took over. I don't know how to move on from that! I mean, you're hardly meant to say "Stop <insert appropriate sexual act>-ing me, I want to have sex now."

Also when you're giving a guy oral or a handjob and he tells you that he's coming, what are supposed to do with that??? I get that they don't want to come all over you unexpectedly but are you supposed to tell them where to come or not to come or what?

I can't talk to my friends about it because they already find my lack of experience kind of amusing (though tbh I think some of my friends are kinda sluts ) and I don't want to bring it up with my boyfriend either, it would totally ruin the mood!
Thanks for any help!

They're pretty valid questions tbh. Em, for me whenever I get tired of foreplay I just grab the guy to stop what he's doing and I use my body to make it very clear what I want next. If you enjoy dirty talk during sex, then there's no problem with telling him verbally exactly what you want, but otherwise just use your body. If you're on your back, for example, you could raise your pelvis up to kind of meet his bits. Guide him with your hand if necessary. Gosh, this is really hard to describe without being explicit! Or just reach for a condom. That makes it pretty clear!

As for when he's coming, it's up to you. If it's oral and you're happy for him to come in your mouth, just ignore him and get on with what you're doing! Some people just say "I'm coming" out of reflex; it's just like moaning really. If you want him to come somewhere specifically, just reposition yourself when he says it. Or, just look him straight in the eye, and in as sexy a voice as you can manage, say "Where do you want to come?". He'll be delighted with the choice, and think you're great, while you get to avoid making a decision, and get to ask him without him realising your inexperience. Honestly, you can go anywhere with that. If you want sex, just stop what you're doing at that point and get a condom.

The thing with sex is you just kind of go with it. Over-thinking is bad. Just do whatever feels natural really.

magneticimpulse

Well dont feel other pressure to sleep with someone, because as you say you think you have "lack of experience". Many people are still virgins, i was until 21/22. I know you said your not a virgin anymore, but even after you lose your virginity, doesnt mean ya have to sleep around with everyone.

Its not a race, which alot of young people seem to make it out to be. The most important thing is to make sure neither of you have STI before engaging in sex. Its a good habit to get into before sleeping with a new partner and I still do it 10 years later...go for regular STI test before sleeping with someone. I personally do it everytime before a new partner and they are happy to go for test as well. It's just peace of mind and its better then getting the likes of Cervical Cancer etc. Even thou you might use a condom for birth control etc, if you are having Oral sex, you can still pick up STI's then. Make sure your on the pill etc.

I mean it should all come natural and whats right when you start kissing, foreplay and sex, just go with the flow. You said you just had foreplay in the past with guys...well maybe they were virgins or they were not ready to have sex? I had foreplay with quite a few guys before I actually had sex. At that age its normal to do alot of foreplay without it actually leading to sex...as people are just exploring and finding out things. Yeah all guys tell you when they are coming...and as someone pointed out, do what feels right for you. Sometimes on their stomach, your mouth, or on you...face, body etc. You can ask.

However if you sleep with your boyfriend this weekend? Can you wait a while for another opportunity? Can he wait a while until the next time you get a chance to have sex? These are prob things you need to think about. You say you live at home, so I presume you dont have boyfriends stay over? I know my parents still dont allow boyfriends/girlfriends to stay over, even with my bro who 22 and if im home and im 29.