Depressed and stuck in a rut

StuckInARut_87

Sorry if this is the wrong place to post this. I dunno what to do with myself i am so depressed and stuck in a rut that i hate life. I have a job that im getting 7 hours a week in. I cant find another, despite my best effort. Im not entitled to any social welfare. My mother puts me down everyday and puts me last when it comes to anything. My sister is like the most perfect thing in the world and i get treated like the most disappointing child there is. I done everything by the book, went to school got good marks, never got into trouble, went to college got my qualifications. My sister hates school says shes never gonna go to college. Yet im the one who gets nagged because im not good enough.

My mother had me insured on her car and stopped it because she wanted to save the money to buy my cousin a wedding cake in March 2012. She constantly goes on about how wonderful my cousins are and how great they are the way they had kids and all got jobs (might I ad they had kids in their teens and got jobs straight after school). I got my final year college results the other day and you think i got a well done or a congrats, no i got nothing! I feel like im been punished for not doing what i didn't want to do, leave school and settle down. I hate my life so much i cant bare it anymore. Nothing makes me smile. I have no money to go anywhere. the bit of savings i have i am afraid to spend incase i dont find another job. I want to move away next year but when i say this my mother looks at me like im a 6 year old who just said they wanted to be an astronaut . Like its impossible and I need to realise im never gonna make anything out of myself . And thats how Im starting to feel about myself. And I do not wanna feel like that anymore because i know with a bit of encouragement I can do something worthwhile. I realise completely that people are sick and homeless out there and much worse off than me im not looking for everyone to say Aww i just wanna be made feel like im worth something and not just a waste of space.

pilph

Everyone on this earth is worth something.

You sound like you're doing well in college and that has to be commended. Anyone who gets a third level qualification, be it a trade or a college course, that deserves recognition so well done.

I feel for anyone who is put down by their parents, who praise other siblings. I guess I'm very lucky that my parents treated my siblings & I exactly the same, no favourites, same rules and praise or criticism when it was due.

Times are tough economically right now so if you can't get more than 7 hours a week of work all you can do is to try harder to see if you can get another job. Persistance does eventually pay off.

One thing you need to do is keep your self confidence and self respect up. Do you play sports? Team sports are good to be part of and only cost membership and insurance. It's not always about winning, achieving something at all can help your sense of well being and worth.

Just remember you have to know your own value. Even if you're only working a small number of hours per week, you are making a contribution.

Head up, life is good.

Nevyn

Are you sad/down about how your life is or have you been to the dr and been medically diagnosed with depression?

StuckInARut_87

Thaedydal wrote: »

Are you sad/down about how your life is or have you been to the dr and been medically diagnosed with depression?

Just about my own life. I have happy days when i spend time with my friends and boyfriend who mean the world to me. But with not having a car now it makes it harder to see them.

I am not very sporty but im willing to take up a new sport if i can find a team locally. Not a lot goes on around where i live.

Im trying very hard to find a job, applied for many jobs in the last week but no replys, i believe that once i get work sorted everything else will work out because il have the money to do things.

All i want is to be encouraged really, i have one friend in particular who is the most encouraging person ever, shes great! But it would be so nice for once not to walk into a party and be the only one whos clothes arent complimented or to do well at something and hear someone say well done. Just to feel accepted.

m@cc@

StuckInARut_87 wrote: »

Sorry if this is the wrong place to post this. I dunno what to do with myself i am so depressed and stuck in a rut that i hate life. I have a job that im getting 7 hours a week in. I cant find another, despite my best effort. Im not entitled to any social welfare. My mother puts me down everyday and puts me last when it comes to anything. My sister is like the most perfect thing in the world and i get treated like the most disappointing child there is. I done everything by the book, went to school got good marks, never got into trouble, went to college got my qualifications. My sister hates school says shes never gonna go to college. Yet im the one who gets nagged because im not good enough.

My mother had me insured on her car and stopped it because she wanted to save the money to buy my cousin a wedding cake in March 2012. She constantly goes on about how wonderful my cousins are and how great they are the way they had kids and all got jobs (might I ad they had kids in their teens and got jobs straight after school). I got my final year college results the other day and you think i got a well done or a congrats, no i got nothing! I feel like im been punished for not doing what i didn't want to do, leave school and settle down. I hate my life so much i cant bare it anymore. Nothing makes me smile. I have no money to go anywhere. the bit of savings i have i am afraid to spend incase i dont find another job. I want to move away next year but when i say this my mother looks at me like im a 6 year old who just said they wanted to be an astronaut . Like its impossible and I need to realise im never gonna make anything out of myself . And thats how Im starting to feel about myself. And I do not wanna feel like that anymore because i know with a bit of encouragement I can do something worthwhile. I realise completely that people are sick and homeless out there and much worse off than me im not looking for everyone to say Aww i just wanna be made feel like im worth something and not just a waste of space.

Obviously, I don't know your mother and can only speculate, but do you think it could be a jealousy factor kicking in? There was a time when the woman was meant to be the dutiful wife which is maybe all that your mother knows and possibly she is scared that you wont 'find a husband'.

All I would say is that if you have an good education then the world is your oyster. If you want to move out on your own when the opportunity arises then does it really matter what anyone else thinks as long as your happy? I wonder as well if your current state of mind is a contributing factor in you not getting a job, confidence is a big part of interviewing.

You have an education, a boyfriend and a plan to make a life. It may take a while for you to realise your dream but a lot of people in this life never realise their dreams. It doesn't matter how fast you achieve it as long as your on the path in life that you want. And as hard as it sounds, if you have to walk alone to achieve this then so be it, just be true to yourself.

StuckInARut_87

m@cc@ wrote: »

I wonder as well if your current state of mind is a contributing factor in you not getting a job, confidence is a big part of interviewing.

I havent even gotten an interview yet. I do believe that the reason i feel so low is because no one is replying to my job applications, not one response have i gotten and ive applied for about 40 jobs. This s very frustrating because all the jobs im applying for I know I'd be good at but im not giving the chance. It gets me really down feeling like im not good enough for any of these jobs. That on top of everything else just has e feeling so low and worthless

m@cc@

StuckInARut_87 wrote: »

I havent even gotten an interview yet. I do believe that the reason i feel so low is because no one is replying to my job applications, not one response have i gotten and ive applied for about 40 jobs. This s very frustrating because all the jobs im applying for I know I'd be good at but im not giving the chance. It gets me really down feeling like im not good enough for any of these jobs. That on top of everything else just has e feeling so low and worthless

Well OP, I'd be happy to look at your CV and offer advice from there. You can use an anonoymous name of course. I'd be happy to help.

StuckInARut_87

m@cc@ wrote: »

Well OP, I'd be happy to look at your CV and offer advice from there. You can use an anonoymous name of course. I'd be happy to help.

thats very kind of u, how can u help me? I think my CV is ok but considering im getting no replies back whatsoever i must be doing something wrong even if i got a response saying thanks but they arent interested at least i wouldnt be checking my emails every two mins hoping

Glenshane Pass

I'm sure you're very employable, the jobs situation is just bottle-necked, so don't beat yourself up on that one. Be relentless and keep applying. And don't be pushed about getting a 'thanks for applying' email. If you do get one it'll be automatic. That is the nature of the system we live in. You are only ever a number, so don't take it personally.

magneticimpulse

If its not working for you in Ireland, you can always go abroad. Ive got 3rd level and now 4th level qualification and im even considering 5th level (post doc) as there are no opportunities in Ireland. What did you study? After my degree I couldnt find work in Ireland and that was 8 years ago, so I left. The work experience I got abroad, was far better then anything I would have got in Ireland, the pay was better and it was a normal 9 to 5 job.

In Ireland, even when I got interviews, I felt like I was on the cattle conveyer belt and looked down upon...as if the company interviewing me was the best in the world and that I was just worthless. One interview consisted of some guy asking if id consider moving to Cork and leaving Dublin. Obvisously I said yes...but didnt even hear anything back for a full year, until I got a letter saying they had no jobs.

My life began when I left the country. People had a new attitude. They didnt know where I studied, where I was from, they didnt care. They knew I was qualified to do the job and were willing to give me the freedom to work myself up in the company. Alot of countries are out of a recession now. Ireland just seems so grim and depressing place to be. I would like to go back, but I just cant settle for a crap job, after progressing so much.

If you think leaving Ireland will help, why not? Do you speak languages? Many European countries you could move to and still visit Ireland at weekend via Ryanair. I was living near Stansted at one stage and was hopping on flight every weekend back to Dublin. In France now and its less often , but last year was home every 2nd week. Anything is possible if you put your mind to it? If its not working, change it...get out, start fresh

StuckInARut_87

magneticimpulse wrote: »

If you think leaving Ireland will help, why not? Do you speak languages? Many European countries you could move to and still visit Ireland at weekend via Ryanair. I was living near Stansted at one stage and was hopping on flight every weekend back to Dublin. In France now and its less often , but last year was home every 2nd week. Anything is possible if you put your mind to it? If its not working, change it...get out, start fresh

I am thinking of moving to London this time next year, i was born there and lived there until i was 5 so i hope this would help some how. Until then i really just wanna save like crazy but i cant without a job. Unfortunately i speak no other language except a few words of french.. As i said getting 6 hrs a week, and no dole its hard to afford food never mind to save