I hate my job but cant leave due to recession

LegacyUser

hi there - i thought i would go unreg as i am a moderator here and dont want to be recognised

basically i recently started working in a new job after having being on the dole unable to find work for some time. i work in an office enviroment where most people work on teams. i work on my own however and have found it almost impossible to get to know people. very few people ever bothered trying to make an effort to get to know me and i had to actively follow everybody on breaks and to social outings only to find myself sitting there in silence among people who showed no interest in getting to know me or even talk to me really

i have since given up on these and take my breakfast and lunch on my own (in fact i dont even take breakfast in work and leave the building for lunch) - its depressing and now even if people did come near me to ask for stuff about work or whatever, on the very rare occasion that somebody does make small talk with me i pretty much clench up and feel uneasy. my confidence in myself is absolutely shattered and i feel really insignificant and worthless

its even more annoying as in my last job i had good friends and was out going and well liked. in my personal life i have good friends and am out going, but in work i am the total opposite. ive turned into a nervous introvert antisocial person in work, billy no mates if you will.

i can almost bear this if my job and professional work is going well but i am only a contracter and my contract is not up for some time yet - ive applied to new jobs but without any success, i wish i could leave but i cant.. i cant make friends there and ive pretty much ruined any chances of being made permanent by not getting in with any cliques in the job.. i dont mind this but i still need to serve the rest of my contract, i have never felt so trapped/ depressed/ angry with myself and the world. it gets me down all day and night every day and i cant cope much longer.

i dont know how i will get through this, i have to stay working there until the end of the contract for financial and personal reasons but i dont know what to do

i guess there is no right answer to my problem, i will probably have to keep going on like this until january when my contract finishes but lately ive been having problems with the work side of things, people in other offices throughout the world dont seem to be too confident in my ability to do the job and are starting to point out any minor errors by CCing directors on their mails. i dont feel like i can turn to them given the backround and i feel as if everybody is starting to turn on me. if the job side of things keeps progressively getting worse and the social side of things stays like it is now i think i will crack up

i feel like getting drunk every day after work but im lucky enough to know that this will only make the day worse so i dont but i just need to do something - what, i do not know.

Max_Damage

I'm in the very same boat!

Don't listen to this bullsh1t about 'you should be glad to have a job'. People shouldn't have to endure terrible working environments.

LegacyUser

Same boat here. sorry I know I should offer you advice. I can't leave because I have a mortgage and childcare but theres an expression my granny would have used 'soul-destroyed' and now I know exactly what she meant.
I am at a loss to advise you OP other than to say life is too short, and if you have few or little financial outgoings, just pack it in. I think depression is the illness of 2010 - alot of people in urs and my boat....

johanz

I'd LOVE to work in an office environment ALONE.
But that's just me.