Fighting for the first time

LegacyUser

Hey, I'm going to be really quick but would love some opinions on this. Basically I have been with my OH for 9 months, everything is great, we get on etc. etc.
We are both in love with eachother and see this as a long termer.
But we are on holidays at the moment and have begun to argue a bit. Well really i have been getting given out to (justified somewhat), its worrying me as its the first time such things have occured. a bit of alcohol has been involved also but still....

Just wondering really would this be a regular thing for couples going on holiday together for the 1st time. Keep in mind there has been no real blow ups but I just worry about where this is going.

Also do you think I should fight my corner more or continue accepting what she is saying even though she has valid points in alot of what she is saying.

Thanks

fungun

id say its fairly normal. People have different expectations from holidays and its a new environment where people act a little differently than they do at home, so some bedding in issues should be expected. (i.e. you might be similar ppl at home but you want your holiday to be late nights and clubs whereas she wants morning walks on the beach - bound to cause some issues).

Nothing more than part of a developing relationship in my opinion, dont get to worried about it.
Only advice Id give is to not let a small difference become a big bone of contention, i.e. dont go home annoyed with each other and then start giving out about other things when you are actually annoyed about sth that went on on the holiday

krudler

Ah the first holiday fight, really normal, just make up and get back to having fun, holiday make up sex is great

LegacyUser

Ahh the first holiday fight is right... seriously dont worry about it!! its perfectly normal!!
I went away with a guy I was going out with for a year to a far away destination last year for 3 weeks and we had a few fights on holiday and he said it wasnt normal for people to fight on holiday it should be a time of bliss or whatever he called it at the time... I say he was living on cloud cookoo land!! Clearly we broke up when we came home as it just didnt work. He told me no one fights on holidays and I thought it was weird too.. but after speaking to some sane people I realised its perfectly normal!

Everybody goes through this and everybody has differences and when you are living in each others ears you really pick up on these things. If you are away maybe take some "time out" like go down the shops for an hour or two and come back and im sure it will be happy days again.. .the guy I was with didnt understand the whole space thing and thought i wanted to get rid of him just cos i wanted to have an hour to myself.. This is not the case.. everyone needs an hour or two to recoup.. put it this way when you are in your normal work routine you dont see each other 24/7!

Now if you really love each other... brush it all off as stupid missunderstandings and get on with loving each other and having fun!

Best of luck!

holidayfight wrote: »

Hey, I'm going to be really quick but would love some opinions on this. Basically I have been with my OH for 9 months, everything is great, we get on etc. etc.
We are both in love with eachother and see this as a long termer.
But we are on holidays at the moment and have begun to argue a bit. Well really i have been getting given out to (justified somewhat), its worrying me as its the first time such things have occured. a bit of alcohol has been involved also but still....

Just wondering really would this be a regular thing for couples going on holiday together for the 1st time. Keep in mind there has been no real blow ups but I just worry about where this is going.

Also do you think I should fight my corner more or continue accepting what she is saying even though she has valid points in alot of what she is saying.

Thanks

Neyite

God, that brings back memories...:D

its ok, happens to nearly everyone, my mates swore blind that me and the OH would have a tiff on hols, and i was so smug that we were too perfect for that:rolleyes: but yeah, its normal.

at home you have work, friends, and other interests keeping you from being around each other 24/7, but in a two week block of that, with a bit of booze chucked in, plus maybe differing expectations its all gonna kick off.

myself and the OH have an understanding on hols, sometimes he would leave me reading on the beach and go for a wander by himself and we meet a couple of hours later.

if you are 'getting given out to' then he seems to have different expectations from the trip as you - sit down over lunch (not drink!) and hear him out, then let him hear your idea of a perfect holiday with him, then see what you can do to meet in the middle. for example, i could sleep all day, yet my OH gets up really earlier so we compromise by a few hours each way. if he likes going out every night clubbing, and you dont, do it every second night, same goes for sightseeing/shopping, unless you both love it.

and dont forget to make up;)

_Andy_

Haha yea, been there and done that, bought the t-shirt, worn it out and bought another one :P

Mine and my gf's first holiday together was full of little fights and arguments to do with just about anything. We would fight about something stupid and small, blow it way outta proportion and then an hour later would exchange looks at each other, laugh, kiss and make up.

I think it was probably because it was the most time we had spent with each other non-stop (a month, long holiday right). There is bound to be friction in any relationship, no matter where you are or how old you or the relationship is.

So don't worry, there will be more arguments but in the end you'll both come out laughing about it, I know I did

peasant

As the others said above, the first holiday together is a bit of a pressure test for the relationship as it is the first time where you spend 24 hours together and have only each other to rely on for entertainment, conversation and organisation of activities.

A bit of friction is to be expected. If that friction is easily sorted, then not to worry but if there is a bit of a gulf developing (like vastly diverging opinions on pretty major issues) then that is something that ought to be considered and addressed once the holiday is over if you don't want to stumble at the first real (non-holiday) pressure test later in your relationship.