Malawi gay man finds woman and couple splits - report

The_Minister

http://uk.reuters.com/article/idUKTRE6572RE20100608?feedType=RSS&feedName=worldNews

(Reuters) - A gay Malawian couple whose 14-year prison sentence for their love affair led to international condemnation has split over a girl, a newspaper report said on Tuesday.

World

Malawi's leader pardoned the two men in late May on humanitarian grounds after a meeting with U.N. Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon, who applauded the move and urged the country to amend "outdated" laws on homosexuality.

Steven Monjeza, 26, told The Nation, a major local daily, he had left his partner, 20-year-old Tiwonge Chimbalanga, because he had been coerced into the gay relationship and found a better match with a 24-year-old woman named Dorothy.

"I am looking forward to a future with him. I don't care what people say. But I am yet to tell my parents," she told the paper.

Neither of the two men were immediately available for comment.

Monjeza and Chimbalanga were arrested after celebrating their engagement in a traditional ceremony in late December.

They were tried and found guilty in May of sodomy and indecency. The trial became a test case for gay rights in the southern African country.

Activists and the international community welcomed their pardon, with the White House urging an end to "the persecution and criminalisation of sexual orientation and gender identity."

Homosexuality in Africa, which is illegal in most of the continent's 53 countries, has become a contentious issue in recent months after a Ugandan lawmaker proposed a bill including the death penalty for some acts, police raided a gay wedding in Kenya and the Malawian couple were arrested.

Major donors to aid-dependent Malawi had condemned the jail sentence as an abuse of human rights and warned it could hurt support for Malawi's economy.

(Reporting by Mabvuto Banda; Editing by Jon Herskovitz)

If this is true then there a huge number of gay campaigners all over the world who are slightly bemused right now.

tony1kenobi

Ultimate burn that is....

Millicent

I get the feeling she's probably the Katie Holmes to his Tom Cruise. :pac: Can't really blame the man for not wanting to pursue a gay relationship after his treatment, tbh.

ETA for clarity: I'd be a bit suspicious of his motivations in coupling up with this girl.

rovert

He was probably forced into doing that after they couldnt try him.

Dennis the Stone

Coerced into the gay relationship? By who? Or is it 'coerced into the straight relationship'?... Anyway, the campaign against the harsh treatment they received wouldn't necessarily be undermined by this. I'm sure there are plenty of other gay couples living in fear.

Millicent

Dennis the Stone wrote: »

Coerced into the gay relationship? By who? Or is it 'coerced into the straight relationship'. Anyway, the campaign against the harsh treatment they received wouldn't necessarily be undermined by this. I'm sure there are plenty of other gay couples living in fear.

I don't know. If he appears to have done a complete u-turn, it's probably not going to inspire hope in a lot of closeted gay people in the area. It almost reinforces that he has something to be ashamed of, to turn his back on a relationship he invested so many years in.

Andrew33

Dennis the Stone wrote: »

I'm sure there are plenty of other gay couples living in fear.

Of what? Not having the housework done? or maybe the monster cock?? Ohhh you're such a bitch. Its just not right and the Africans know it!

Millicent

Andrew33 wrote: »

Of what? Not having the housework done? or maybe the monster cock?? Ohhh you're such a bitch. Its just not right and the Africans know it!

Constructive and well thought out. Well done.

The_Minister

rovert wrote: »

He was probably forced into doing that after they couldnt try him.

Maybe, maybe not - remember those 'gay' penguins that got a book written about them - then one of them ran off with a woman.

Could be his new celebrity is getting him noticed (even if it is in that weird way that serial killers have admirers) and he has opportunities with women that he previously didn't.

EDIT: It's unlikely but possible.

Dennis the Stone

Millicent wrote: »

I don't know. If he appears to have done a complete u-turn, it's probably not going to inspire hope in a lot of closeted gay people in the area. It almost reinforces that he has something to be ashamed of, to turn his back on a relationship he invested so many years in.

I agree that it won't inspire them, it'll probably makes them more frightened as they might think he was perhaps pressured or threatened into abandoning the relationship?

I would be highly suspicious that he has done a u-turn, but even if he has, there are surely other couples down the line that will face such treatment and there will still be a need for campaigns and the like.

Donkey Oaty

Steven Monjeza, 26, told The Nation, a major local daily, he had left his partner, 20-year-old Tiwonge Chimbalanga, because he had been coerced into the gay relationship and found a better match with a 24-year-old woman named Dorothy.

So much for being a friend of Dorothy.

Millicent

Dennis the Stone wrote: »

I agree that it won't inspire them, it'll probably makes them more frightened as they might think he was perhaps pressured or threatened into abandoning the relationship?

I would be highly suspicious that he has done a u-turn, but even if he has, there are surely other couples down the line that will face such treatment and there will still be a need for campaigns and the like.

I'd be very surprised if he hasn't been coerced in some way and even if he is bisexual, this was a man he was prepared to go to jail for just a few months ago. Two steps forward and one step back here.

I hope the case still keeps awareness of gay rights in the forefront for all those people who may not be as lucky to be pardoned in the future.

Dennis the Stone

1. He is bisexual and has now fallen in love with a woman
2. Was straight all along and was forced into the gay relationship
3. Is gay and fears for his future were the gay relationship to continue so has decided to deny it and try to enter a straight relationship

I don't know which one it is (probably 3), but the fight goes on over there regardless.

Perhaps they won't attempt to enforce the law in the manner they tried with these men in the future. Because of the outcry that resulted.

Millicent

Dennis the Stone wrote: »

1. He is bisexual and has now fallen in love with a woman
2. Was straight all along and was forced into the gay relationship
3. Is gay and fears for his future were the gay relationship to continue so has decided to deny it and try to enter a straight relationship

I don't know which one it is (probably 3), but the fight goes on over there regardless.

Perhaps they won't attempt to enforce the law in the manner they tried with these men in the future. Because of the outcry that resulted.

Here's hoping. I remain sceptical though...

Minstrel27

Slut

ScumLord

Dennis the Stone wrote: »

1. He is bisexual and has now fallen in love with a woman
2. Was straight all along and was forced into the gay relationship
3. Is gay and fears for his future were the gay relationship to continue so has decided to deny it and try to enter a straight relationship

4. Maybe she's a particularly butch and rich woman?

Mike 1972

5. Maybe she has citizenship of a somewhat less ****ed up country ?

Chuchoter

I think I'd be doing that too after the **** he's been through. Sucks to be the person he left though (who actually identified as a woman interestingly enough, so all the papers saying gay couple was was actually incorrect)

aligator_am

I think this is the one he's run off with

http://www.algoafm.co.za/assets/images/caster%20semenya.jpg

Kiwi_knock

I presume that after all the media attention it was impossible to have a relationship but to move to a woman seems strange. The reasons outlined in this thread are all plausible but I doubt we will ever find out why he has left someone he went to jail for.

CrazyRabbit

Mike 1972 wrote: »

5. Maybe she has citizenship of a somewhat less ****ed up country ?

6. He found out his partner is HIV positive.

The_Minister

Turns out the answer was none of the above

http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2010/may/22/malawian-transgender-identity

One of them identifies and lives as a woman - they were never actually a gay couple.

Banned Account

Fag Hags, they be everywhare

ScumLord

The_Minister wrote: »

One of them identifies and lives as a woman -

How does that make the other one less gay?

Banned Account

ScumLord wrote: »

How does that make the other one less gay?

Have you never heard of the "scale of gayness"

In the late 1940's and early 1950's a sex researcher by the name of Dr Alfred Kinsey and his colleagues published two books called Sexual Behavior in the Human Male and Sexual Behavior in the Human Female based on the study of human sexuality. These works are also known as the "Kinsey Reports."

One of Dr. Kinsey's most well known theories is the "Heterosexual/ Homosexual Rating Scale," which rates a person's homosexuality or heterosexuality on a 7-point continuum.
Keep in mind, however, that it is normal for a heterosexual person to have thoughts, dreams or even fantasies about members of the same sex as it is for homosexuals to have thoughts about heterosexuals. Thus, your "score" may not be a perfect 6 or 0.
How are gay are you? 0- Exclusively heterosexual

1- Predominantly heterosexual, only incidentally homosexual

2- Predominantly heterosexual, but more than incidentally homosexual

3- Equally heterosexual and homosexual

4- Predominantly homosexual, but more than incidentally heterosexual

5- Predominantly homosexual, only incidentally heterosexual

6- Exclusively homosexual

Links234

The_Minister wrote: »

Turns out the answer was none of the above

http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2010/may/22/malawian-transgender-identity

One of them identifies and lives as a woman - they were never actually a gay couple.

It's a sad state of affairs that transgender identities in these kinds of stories are being erased. And if you think this is something unique, think again!

http://advocate.com/News/Daily_News/2010/06/02/Two_Pakistanis_Jailed_for_Attempted_Gay_Marriage/

That's a story that's constantly being touted as a gay marriage issue when it's an issue of a transgender woman not having her gender recognised. Trying to make this out to be a gay marriage issue is the same as what the government who jailed the who people have done, denied this young woman's identity.

And the same thing happened when Barry Winchell was murdered for dating Calpernia Addams, a transgender woman, and it was made out to be a gay relationship. They misrepresented Addams as a man, which completely stripped her of her identity.

This says to trans people you don't matter, your problems don't exist, YOU don't exist. Worse than that, it says that trans women are really just confused gay men.

I find these kind of stories, that misrepresent transgender women, that strip them of their identities, that erase the issues that they face and pretend like trans people don't even exist, I find them disgusting, deplorable and hateful.

Links234

ScumLord wrote: »

How does that make the other one less gay?

Because when a man and a woman are in a relationship that's a heterosexual relationship.

ScumLord

Links234 wrote: »

Because when a man and a woman are in a relationship that's a heterosexual relationship.

But there wasn't a man and a woman, there where two men and one of them thought of themselves as a woman. Just deciding your a woman, or a cat, or a bird doesn't make it so.

Links234

ScumLord wrote: »

Just deciding your a woman, or a cat, or a bird doesn't make it so.

Same old appeal to ridicule, comparing trans people to people thinking they're animals. But you're making a mistake with your regurgitated meme, you should have said "deciding your a dolphin doesn't make it so hurr durr" as is the traditional ignorant standpoint when you've got no argument.

Nobody just decides they're a woman, or a man. Each human being has a sense of themselves, of their own gender. Sometimes that doesn't match up with how they were born, but their gender identities are still as valid as anyone else. There's real biological reasons for this happening, go educate yourself on the matter, it's 2010 now you can't afford to be this ignorant.