birth mother search

DriversEd

hi,

i've just began a search for my birth mother, and any more family i might have. i have managed to get my original birth cert, and i have a 4 possible birth cert for my mother, i hope. how can i make sure which one is correct, and what should be my next step?

any and all advice gratefully received.

thanks!

gfmason

I am in the same position as you are, except I had 10 to search for. Have you approached your adoption agency and asked for a copy of your file under the Freedom of Information. Don't get too excited as they withhold all identifying information. Have you asked for a social worker to be assigned to you to do a trace? If you do, then she will be able to give you some basic information (age of your mother, general area,things like that). It is important to understand, though, that sometimes the age of the mother is not correct. So keep that in mind. The social worker might be able to tell you if your mother had brothers or sisters or whatever information there may be on your file. Try and get as much information as possible before starting the trace yourself. I was able to eliminate 2 women because they had only sisters in their families and I know my mother has a brother.

DriversEd

hi GF, thanks for the reply.

i have narrowed it down to 4 but as you say, thats within an age range i took after getting non-identifying info from the agency. if this info is true, the one strong possible is really the only one from the possibles i have as only one of these is from outside dublin as she was supposed to be. so you think i should ask the adoption agency for my file under the FOI? as well as asking for more info from a social worker? i have seen a possible request for info letter template on the adoption.ie site, have you seen this, what do you think.

there seems to be a lot of results when you search for adoption sites of interest, but still nothing very comprehensive, or is there? this adoption.ie site seems to be old and not functioning anymore.

anyway, its good to get started at last!

The_Conductor

gfmason wrote: »

I am in the same position as you are, except I had 10 to search for. Have you approached your adoption agency and asked for a copy of your file under the Freedom of Information. Don't get too excited as they withhold all identifying information. Have you asked for a social worker to be assigned to you to do a trace? If you do, then she will be able to give you some basic information (age of your mother, general area,things like that). It is important to understand, though, that sometimes the age of the mother is not correct. So keep that in mind. The social worker might be able to tell you if your mother had brothers or sisters or whatever information there may be on your file. Try and get as much information as possible before starting the trace yourself. I was able to eliminate 2 women because they had only sisters in their families and I know my mother has a brother.

Hi Grainne,

Unfortunately adoption files are specifically excluded from the Freedom of Information Act. You can request 'non-identifying information'- but the different agencies handle these requests in different ways- there is no guarantee that you'll get specific information (or indeed that the information they give you- even vague information- is accurate). Its a good idea to treat any information they provide as circumspect- until such time as you have confirmed it elsewhere. This is not always the fault of the agency- often details were very badly recorded years ago- and it would also not be unusual for birthmothers to delibertly give incorrect information to agencies/nuns etc.

When searching for a birthcert- you should not necessarily rule in or out any certs- you need to research as much as possible- and chase down any potential leads you may have (there are different ways of collaborating information- it can be time consuming- and all engrossing!).

Best wishes,

Shane

The_Conductor

duffsaw wrote: »

hi GF, thanks for the reply.

i have narrowed it down to 4 but as you say, thats within an age range i took after getting non-identifying info from the agency. if this info is true, the one strong possible is really the only one from the possibles i have as only one of these is from outside dublin as she was supposed to be. so you think i should ask the adoption agency for my file under the FOI? as well as asking for more info from a social worker? i have seen a possible request for info letter template on the adoption.ie site, have you seen this, what do you think.

there seems to be a lot of results when you search for adoption sites of interest, but still nothing very comprehensive, or is there? this adoption.ie site seems to be old and not functioning anymore.

anyway, its good to get started at last!

Do check out Google- there are lots of groups out there.
The Adoption Ireland Yahoo list is still active and if you post there is a mine of useful information: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Adoption-Ireland

We have a useful links section here: http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055042732

and the Adoption Ireland templates here:
http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055543715

Best wishes,

Shane

DriversEd

hi Shane,

thanks for the info. but as i said. i've four possibles, at present! what would be the next step, a marriage cert? is there any link to her possible marriage? or is it a case of going back to the research hall and trawling through the books for any marriages in her name, and then matching the birth dates?

thanks again,
Ed

gfmason

Hi Ed, One thing you might look into is requesting a copy of your original baptismal certificate. You should have your adopted baptismal cert which would tell you where you were baptised. Chance your arm by ringing the parish church (some people get very lucky and get their cert quite easily while others, like myself, have to write to Archbishops House in Drumcondra, Dublin to get permission. It depends on who you get on the day). This MIGHT give you more information. Sometimes, a birth mother might have had a second name which might be included in the cert. It's a long shot but something worth getting anyway.

With regard marriage certs unfortunately it's back to the GRO and searching. In my case, my mother was born in 1949 and had me in 1966 so I searched from 1968 onwards. If you can't find a marriage cert here in Ireland then search the UK. www.findmypast.co.uk or ancestry.co.uk (you have to subscribe) are both good places to search. I managed to get the marriage certs for 3 of the possibles I was looking for. - Grainne

DriversEd

hi Grainne,

thanks for the info. if i go looking for the marriage cert, will her date of birth be on there? i know mine is on my marriage cert, but what about back then? i have her full name and DOB, plus also her parnets info. i keep saying her like there is only one of these possibles that could be her, but it looks like it! i hope! but if i find a marriage cert, what next, in your opinion?
have you completed your search? i have a feeling that when we, any of us, get all the info, there's probably a bit of procrastination at that point, whethter to, or how to take the final steps, realising, if the info is correct and you have the right person, what might happen! and also the possibility that the info is pointing the wrong way ( or my interpretation of it!).

thanks- Ed

DriversEd

hi,

just to say, i got another chance to get to the research hall, and managed to get my BM marriage cert, and then got two probable sons birth certs from that marriage. i've even gotten hold of one of the sons marriage certs. but that still leaves me with a possible address for my BM, in 1983, the most recent entry for her, at her youngest sons birth. how can i go about making sure, or, making contact, in a discreet manner?

any advice taken,

thanks again,

Ed

gfmason

Hi Ed,

There are a couple of ways to go about this. One would be to go and check the electoral register. You can do this on-line by going to www.checktheregister.ie or actually go to the library or garda station nearest the address and check manually. This would confirm if she is still there. I am sure you have checked the phonebook or, if they are ex-directory, phone directory enquiries and give the name and address and see if they come up with a phone number. Another way, and I would go and check the other two first, would be to contact the Parish Priest and talk to him. Some of them are great and very helpful and some are not. If she has moved he might know where. Alternatively you could talk to neighbours but you would want to have a very good story in your head first as to why you are looking for her. Could be you want to arrange a surprise birthday party for your mother who was friends with your bm years ago and this is the last known address you have and don't want to ask your mother for a new address because it would ruin the surprise.

If all else fails, and you can't find out if she is still there why not write a letter (check www.adoptionrightsalliance.com for suggestions). Leave it very vague and if someone else reads it then they would think it was an old friend looking to re-establish contact. Hope these suggestions are of some use to you and best of luck. - Grainne x

DriversEd

hi,
thanks Grainne for the reply. i have tried to no avail on checktheregister.ie, for BM and any relations i have details for. is there any point in going to the area to check the physical register? could this be different? it doesn't help that the area is close to a county border and often gets mentioned in either one!!

thanks again,

Ed