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Alone time

  • 03-06-2010 5:05pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I am sick of my BF inviting his friends along when we have arranged something. We were supposed to have dinner tonight, just the two of us as we haven't seen each other all week, and he has just called to say his mate and his GF are joining us. This is not the first time. I am not really into hanging out with his friends and don't expect him to hang out with mine but occasionally its fine.
    However, he regularly does this, we'll have arrangments to meet (just us) and then one of his mates turns up. He says he doesn't see them much because of work etc but I would not be offended if he met with them and left me out. I want alone time with him, but his constant need to have a third wheel when we go out is really annoying me. I would be less hurt if he told me that he really wanted to meet this mate and could we leave it, rather than just inviting them without asking me.
    I am not being horrible, I am just SO annoyed right now that he doesn't think we need time for just us without a posse. I have said this before but he thinks he's just being sociable.


Comments

  • #2
    Contessa Raven
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 642 ✭✭✭Contessa Raven


    Hi OP,

    Could you not speak to him again about it? I know you said you spoke to him before but maybe he hasn't realised how much it bothers you.

    I would say to him that it's starting to become a big problem and that you are beginning to feel resentful. I'm sure once he realises how much it's upsetting you, then he'll make some time for the two of you. Explain about the meeting his friends alone too. Just let him know that it isn't for you.

    CR


  • #3
    Monkey61
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,137 ✭✭✭Monkey61


    Some people are just very sociable and like to have other people around. What is he like when you guys are out with his friends? Does he pay loads of attention to you or do you feel ignored/left out?

    I think you need to reach some sort of compromise with him as he clearly likes to hang out with you in groups even though you don't. I would personally be very offended if my girlfriend told me that she would rather not see me than see me with my friends. Or if she told me that she never wanted to see my friends. I don't think I could go out with someone under those circumstances.

    How often do you see him? Would you be prepared to alternate and see his friends every second time you meet up?


  • #4
    Motley Crue
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,382 ✭✭✭Motley Crue


    OP, speak to him about it


  • #5
    Ickle Magoo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,485 ✭✭✭✭Ickle Magoo


    Hey OP,

    Some couples barely socialise without having friends around, others want to spend all their spare time together without anyone else and there is everything in-between. You need to sit your boyfriend down and let him know which you prefer and why and thrash out a compromise, especially if he's in the camp of wanting friends around more than you do...definitely inviting them on the sly on the proviso you are then powerless to do anything is not on and he has to acknowledge that much.

    Best of luck.


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