A very serious nightmare to live with...

Jay D

Ok here's the deal.

I am friends with this guy for the guts of 10 years. He's a few years older than myself. I have always found his company to be out with or have a few drinks, cards, etc., to be fantastic.

About this time last year he a room became available and he was very eager.

Having let him stay with me before, I knew it was not a great idea but we needed someone for the room and it solved our problem in the short time. However, as anyone might predict, relations deteriorated something else and even nearly came to blows.

The problem is the guy is way too into his drink and drugs. When sober, a nicer guy you'll never meet, will help out as much as he can with anything and that's why I love him but the fact of the matter is i couldn't live with him and so moved out myself to a place of my own.

The problem now is that two girls are left there and they are not comfortable. One has even gone as far as saying she's not sure if she'll wake up one night with him standing in her room ready to murder her! Now that may be very far fetched but there had been nights where I would hear the fcuker out in the hall talking to himself, in a complete drugged state or what not. Now I'm not naive enough think that just because he 'does drugs' he's a serious threat in that way by any means but i can see where my female friend is coming from.

now the simple solution would be for her to get the f out of there and be done. however the landlord is a very decent guy and he will have serious problems trying to keep anyone there with my friend. The contract for the place when we moved in originally was in her name so she would still have rights, even though the landlord has not reissued another lease, in the second year we're cool like that.

She is afraid to tell my friend that he has to move out because he can really get as thick as fcuk when he wants to and it's not nice.

So really how do you get rid of someone like that whilst still remaining on good terms and what rights would he have, having lived there for a year by now?
I understand this may trigger anger in many but I hope it's reminded some of experiences they have had and maybe can share with me on how to deal with this.

To say he's an alcoholic is an understatement, like I remember one time we sessioned all night, into the next night and some of that morning. That very evening, he was down the shop, few beers from the offy and just sits there drinking beer and watching tv!

_feedback_

No use pussy footing around and being nicey nicey. She needs to think about number 1 and get out - let the landlord get rid of him then. That's part of his job.

Xavi6

To say he's an alcoholic is an understatement, like I remember one time we sessioned all night, into the next night and some of that morning. That very evening, he was down the shop, few beers from the offy and just sits there drinking beer and watching tv!

Jaysus, I better head off to the nearest AA meeting so.

Darksaga87

You may have accept the fact, that your going to loose a friend in this.

I had an old roommate a year or so ago, all was well when we moved in, then the money from him stopped and was drunk all day every day, ate all the food, and left the house in a tip for me when i came home.
In the end, it came to blows when he was asked to leave, got very ugly and the guards were called by the neighbors as they thought he was trying to kill me. We never spoke again.
If we hadnt moved in together, we might still be friends. Liveing with someone is not an easy thing to do, and you have to accept that itas his fault that it ended like this.

Pack his bags, throw him out, recomned he get help, maybe he might thank you one day.
But expect a fight and lot of abuse.

drunkmonkey

"Might murder her", that darn ecstasy is dangerous stuff....

stovelid

It's seems clear that the girls are showing an intolerable lack of understanding here. They need to start drinking and doing drugs with him and trying to make him feel more welcome.

Can you imagine how isolated and alone he feels when he's out of it all the time in the presence of sober people?

WindSock

Next time he does mad shit when he is out of it, talk to him about it when he is sober and reasonable. If it happens again, record it and play it back to him and tell him there will be a problem if he carries on like that as he is upsetting the household.

Jay D

Darksaga87 wrote: »

You may have accept the fact, that your going to loose a friend in this.

I had an old roommate a year or so ago, all was well when we moved in, then the money from him stopped and was drunk all day every day, ate all the food, and left the house in a tip for me when i came home.
In the end, it came to blows when he was asked to leave, got very ugly and the guards were called by the neighbors as they thought he was trying to kill me. We never spoke again.
If we hadnt moved in together, we might still be friends. Liveing with someone is not an easy thing to do, and you have to accept that itas his fault that it ended like this.

Pack his bags, throw him out, recomned he get help, maybe he might thank you one day.
But expect a fight and lot of abuse.

I don't live there anymore and although we fell out, we still talk and things aren't that bad between us at all now. I think you're final bit of advise there is possibly the best I'll get. I just wanted to see other people's experiences as well I suppose before resorting to that.

I should also mention as well that the girls love the apartment and that's maybe one more reason they would prefer to stay there.

Jay D

WindSock wrote: »

Next time he does mad shit when he is out of it, talk to him about it when he is sober and reasonable. If it happens again, record it and play it back to him and tell him there will be a problem if he carries on like that as he is upsetting the household.

Tried the talk anyway.

He goes to another friend's place who is always happy to have a babysitter. then guess what happens?

Now don't get me wrong he's great with kids but of course would have a few beers in the evening anyway and who's to tell him otherwise then? We"don't know" what he's doing when he spends a couple of days away. :rolleyes:

bonerm

Have you ever considered introducing your friend to Jesus?

WindSock

Jay D wrote: »

Tried the talk anyway.

He goes to another friend's place who is always happy to have a babysitter. then guess what happens?

Now don't get me wrong he's great with kids but of course would have a few beers in the evening anyway and who's to tell him otherwise then? We"don't know" what he's doing when he spends a couple of days away. :rolleyes:

Who's to tell him otherwise when he is babysitting the kids while pissed? The parent, perhaps?

Your problem is what he does in the gaf though. How he interacts with his housemates. What he does with himself outside the gaf shouldn't matter.

Jay D

You'd really think the parent would say that wouldn't you? But no, happy for the company or have someone to mind while she goes out.


If he was to live there now i couldn't be happier for the past while like but like you say he's simply impossible to live with.

Jay D

say for instance I spoke to the landlord, would he be within his rights to go down and give two weeks notice for him to get out?

Cheap Thrills!

ah stop being such a wendy!.

Believe me he is not a sensitive, delicate flower that will be 'hurt' if he gets booted out, he's expecting it any minute. He will carry on like he is mortally offended if you do anything but he's not really he doesn't give a sh!t. He'll trundle on to the next bunch of fools understanding mates that tolerate him!

At the end of the day he's not your problem unless you are trying to look all gallant to get into the girls. Which I suspect you are :P (unless you're not!:cool:)

The landlord is a nice man, yada yada....welll so what it's still his problem at the end of the day!

In the immortal words of Brendan Grace on Father Ted 'I've had my fun and that's all that matters!!!' is your Man's attitude.

Jay D

I suppose if I did go down and remove him myself like that I'd be into both their knickers---

at the same time!

anplaya

PI is somewhere else in this forum.tbh what he does is none of yer business.ya bitch and moan what hes like but ya sound to scared to say anything to him.wheres yer balls ? on this thread?say to him ya mind going online and looking up www.boards.ie go to seach look up the title of yer thread and hell probably tell ya afterwards to **** off.

then ya wont have to worry about him anymore.

Jay D

anplaya wrote: »

PI is somewhere else in this forum.tbh what he does is none of yer business.ya bitch and moan what hes like but ya sound to scared to say anything to him.wheres yer balls ? on this thread?say to him ya mind going online and looking up www.boards.ie go to seach look up the title of yer thread and hell probably tell ya afterwards to **** off.

then ya wont have to worry about him anymore.

and who are you exactly? you should maybe learn to read first

fonecrusher1

So what your saying is;

You encouraged your slightly reckless buddy to live with you knowing fine well he was going to be a noisy drunk pest while living there & failed to consider the other people living in the house?

You need to acknowledge the presence of others & ask him to leave immediately.

Do you realise how pissed off & unsettled your other housemates must feel?

I just wouldn't have it to be honest. I'd either leave or do my best to land yer man on his hole on the pavement outside the front door.

No one has the right to turn another person's life into a living hell because of their own selfish overindulgences. Fcuk that.

orourkeda

Did you know about the booze and persian rugs before you let him move in?

If so, you deserve little sympathy.

MadPatrick

You moved him into the house you were sharing with 2 girls, even though you knew full well what he was like. I guess it wasn't so bad as long as there was another man there, and then you moved out and left the 2 girls alone with him.

Nice one champ!

Coriolanus

^^ This

biko

She can tell him the landlord wants the place back end of June and everyone has to go.
Then pretend pack some stuff while he moves his stuff out and returns the key.
Then unpack.
Done.
Invite me to the new house warming

Kylo Ren

WindSock wrote: »

Next time he does mad shit when he is out of it, talk to him about it when he is sober and reasonable. If it happens again, record it and play it back to him and tell him there will be a problem if he carries on like that as he is upsetting the household.

exactly what I would do

WindSock

Or, maybe have a chat with the landord and the girls and stage rent increase

Cheap Thrills!

Jay D wrote: »

I love him but the fact of the matter is i couldn't live with him and so moved out myself to a place of my own.

You sneaky snake! HISS !

kylith

biko wrote: »

She can tell him the landlord wants the place back end of June and everyone has to go.
Then pretend pack some stuff while he moves his stuff out and returns the key.
Then unpack.
Done.
Invite me to the new house warming

^ This

Alternatively tell him to cop the fuk on or get the fuk out.

fonecrusher1

Thing is, if he wants to get drunk/high outside of the house in pub/club or public park its nobodies business but his own.

The minute his activities begin to spill onto other peoples lives (the two girls who are paying for rent & bills) & cause them bother, then it becomes unacceptable.

Either the two girls should contact the landlord & threaten to leave because of yer mans bullsh!t or if they don't want to personally confront him, ask a brother or boyfriend or any bloke they know who can get very 'thick' as well to have a little word in his ear.

If the landlord was living in the house he'd a been gone in a week.:rolleyes:

anplaya

Jay D wrote: »

and who are you exactly? you should maybe learn to read first

someone whos not a coward like you. ya moved out of yer own place cause ya were fed up with his ways and didnt want to upset him.when ya knew well what he was like before he moved in.get to ****,and grow a pair of balls for yerself for ***** sake.

Jay D

anplaya wrote: »

someone whos not a coward like you. ya moved out of yer own place cause ya were fed up with his ways and didnt want to upset him.when ya knew well what he was like before he moved in.get to ****,and grow a pair of balls for yerself for ***** sake.

brave Internet warrior

MadPatrick wrote: »

You moved him into the house you were sharing with 2 girls, even though you knew full well what he was like. I guess it wasn't so bad as long as there was another man there, and then you moved out and left the 2 girls alone with him.

Nice one champ!

I suppose you can make what you want from it but I didn't know full well what he was like to live with actually and only had been around him for brief periods like wknds etc, also there was just one girl before I moved out snd lastly the final straw for me when I actually did move out was an arguement I had with the girl for having people so late and waking me up. As petty as that sounds but I'm up at 4am!!

I'm still friends with her though and the new girls decent too. If U didn't give a damn why would I be trying to help? We were through the stages when I lived there.

Cheap Thrills!

Jay D wrote: »

I'm still friends with her though and the new girls decent too. If U didn't give a damn why would I be trying to help?

Threesome!

Let the girls know they are welcome to stay in your new house if things get 'too much' at any time!

Meanwhile, sneak back to the old gaff and leave a bottle of Whiskey, couple of bottle of Bucky and some other treats for your tippling friend in his room!

Everyone's a winner.

easyeason3

Why don't you get all his stuff & leave it outside the door. Tell him when he wakes up that he did it the night before when he was off his face & told the girls that he didn't want to share a house with either of them because they are skanks.

Que lots of embarrassment from him & a glimmer of hope that he will get lost.

If you want to babysit someone go have a child. He's a grown man that is little more than an occasional friend so let him worry about himself.

Jay D

Cheap Thrills! wrote: »

Threesome!

Let the girls know they are welcome to stay in your new house if things get 'too much' at any time!

Meanwhile, sneak back to the old gaff and leave a bottle of Whiskey, couple of bottle of Bucky and some other treats for your tippling friend in his room!

Everyone's a winner.

anplaya

Jay D wrote: »

brave Internet warrior



how is it being a brave internet warrior?its called not leaving people walk all over you.most people wouldnt put up with that ****e.

fontanalis

Face it, it's not going to end well. He's a waster going nowhere fast.

Cheap Thrills!

fontanalis wrote: »

Face it, it's not going to end well. He's a waster going nowhere fast.

That's a bit harsh. I think with my plan he might be able to lure the chicks to his new pad.

Erica<3

So you knew well what he was like but for the short term convenience you moved him in? Are you crazy?

And then when it got too much for YOU, you moved out and left your two female friends with him?

Little sympathy I shall give you. One of the three of you needs to grow a pair and tell him to GTFO, and it should probably be the one who has her name on the lease.
You've moved out so it really shouldn't be your problem, apart from the fact he is your 'sort of' friend, so your two friends should deal with it. I'm a girl, and I can tell you now, if I had some fool like that living with me I'd have no problem giving him a good kick up the arse out the door.
Your friends are big girls now, after all...

fontanalis

Cheap Thrills! wrote: »

That's a bit harsh. I think with my plan he might be able to lure the chicks to his new pad.

Fair enough, it was harsh but if he's into drink and drugs as much as the op said then his brain is fried and he is more than likely living in his own world and nothing will get through to him.

sponsoredwalk

Erica<3 wrote: »

So you knew well what he was like but for the short term convenience you moved him in? Are you crazy?

And then when it got too much for YOU, you moved out and left your two female friends with him?

Alright, this I agree with, you pretty much left your friends with a bigger problem than having to each pay more rent for say 2 months max...

Jay D wrote: »

say for instance I spoke to the landlord, would he be within his rights to go down and give two weeks notice for him to get out?

Yes, totally. If one of the occupants is making life unliveable for the other occupants and has already caused one of the occupants to leave over personal issues then the landlord has a right to accomodate those who do not cause hassle.

Not only does the landlord have the right to kick all of them out in that there is no lease anybody has in their name, if your ex-roommate tries to pull any legal proceedings it will only come out even worse for him. Think of the drugs and drugged trances being mentioned, it wont look good for him at all.

I lived in a house with people a while back & one of the people we lived with was insufferable, causing minor problems constantly & eventually the person whose name was on the lease told the person to leave for way less than what you've gone through.

That said, you leaving ages ago, inadvertently leaving a huge problem on your friends hands instead of being honest in the first place & confronting him says a lot. I can only hope for your sake that your friends have acknowledged & forgiven your weakness on this issue.

Captain Darling

I bet he leaves the toilet seat up too.

Fcuking nightmare.

Chewbacca.

one night when hes out of his mallet, sneak the two girls out of the apartment and let them stay with you

give him two new chicks with dicks as flat-mates