Bored...

whiteblueman

I am so bored it is unnatural.

Together 5 years and have a new daughter (4 months old). When we first met sex etc was exciting - doing it in cars, messing around in clubs, even went to adult club once (didn't swap though)

When we met, I had an issue with the no. of her ex lovers (almost 20) and now that I look at the situation I see a lovely person who has settled down for the family life who a limited interest in sex... i saw some of her old pics where she was hanging out of a few guys and looking vibrant. Now i see a prudish borefest and I am not happy.

I dont know what to do - it has lead to some cheating but ideally i would like her to partake in a 3some or something exciting to breathe some life back into our redundant sexlife...

I am not sure what to do?

Silverfish

Hi, since this is the 3rd time you've started a thread on this here, have you taken any of the advice in the previous threads on board?

whiteblueman

Hi - not really; otherwise I wouldn't be making the post.

Feel free to lock same if it an issue.

Silverfish

Well, I imagine the advice will be the same this time round as well.

If you are cheating on her, and see a 'prudish borefest' when you look at her, perhaps it's time to consider couples counselling.

I don't think introducing 3somes will resolve the issue, if that's not something she's happy with. To be honest, it sounds like you want to cheat without the guilt attached.

polliepp

Hi OP,

Maybe if you actually communicated with your wife instead of complaining that you are bored to others. Have you spoken to your wife and told her how you are feeling?

Also, you have a very young baby - have you thought that maybe your wife may have postnatal depression or something along those lines? It can take some women a long time to recover from giving birth.

I didn't understand if you said you were cheating or planning to so can't respond to that part.

You just don't sound like you have any empathy for your wife. I too am struggling to empathise with you. Something about your post irritated me. Its like as if you very blaming of your wife without considering her feelings. I think you called her a prude borefest or something which I think is disrespectful to your wife and mother of your child.

Are you taking any responsibilty for your sex life together? Have you planned romantic evenings to try and generate some passion.

I am sorry if I have misread your situation. Good luck & maybe make a bit of an effort

polliepp

Hi again,

Yes, I re-read your post and I agree with Silverfish that you are looking to cheat and trying to rationalise this to yourself and seek permission by blaming your wife for being such a prude/borefest!

You sound like a toddler throwing a tantrum because he's bored and not getting what he wants. God help your wife two kids on her hands.

ManOfMystery

So you have kids on the scene but still expect your wife to play the uninhibited sex kitten role as well as be a full time mother?

Welcome to the real world OP.

skepticalone

op are you for real ??? you had an issue with the amount of lovers she had before you met and now you want her to partake of a threesome .....the mind boggles , do the poor girl a favour and end it , but not without first trying to sort your own issues , the saddest part is that you imagine you have a valid reason for your behaviour .:(

miss5

Silverfish wrote: »

Well, I imagine the advice will be the same this time round as well.

If you are cheating on her, and see a 'prudish borefest' when you look at her, perhaps it's time to consider couples counselling.

I don't think introducing 3somes will resolve the issue, if that's not something she's happy with. To be honest, it sounds like you want to cheat without the guilt attached.

I agree there are clearly some serious underlying problems that a threesome would
not solve.

amybabes

i pity your partner. what a catch

ash23

OP, looking at your other posts you are participating in sex with men.

Your wife has recently had a small baby and is probably tired and dealing with sleepness nights.

If you are unhappy to the point of being "unbelievably bored" and having sex with other men and women, then might I suggest you end your marriage as what you are doing to your wife is grossly unfair and if she had an inkling of it, I doubt she would want to be with you.

Leave her but stand by your children. Go and explore your bi-curious side and find out what it is you want exactly. Because putting your wifes sexual health at risk and justifying it because you now find her "boring" is not right and you know it.

For everyones sake just end it before your wife finds out what exactly it is you've been doing.

Taltos

I too remember some of your other posts and am confused by what you are looking for here?

As before - you are coming across rather flippantly about the responsibilities you now have. I do not think anything we say to you will encourage you to stand up and be the type of person your wife deserves or your children deserve.

Forget about talking to her, trying to get her to partake in 3-somes etc.
Just go home. Pack your bag and leave.
Be honest when asked as to why - and I mean brutally honest. Anything else and your wife will believe she is at fault in all of this.

She might surprise you and us - but do not bank on that.
At a minimum though for once please show her the courtesy she deserves. Living a lie is not the type of life she deserves.

KildareCross

what a joke! Sounds to me as though you are the one who turnes her into a "bore".... It takes 2 to let a spark go like that and you were obviously comfortable enough to do so... Your now tryin to justify cheating simple as...

LegacyUser

Hi,
I think you are being very unfair to your wife/gf.... you have a young baby, so things will not be exciting right now... it is so hard being a new mother, of course she is going to look different to you. So you are just going to give up, and look for something better, believe me the grass isnt always greener, and other women go through this aswell. Yes she was vibrant etc...prior to children + relationship, I bet she feels the same way. Bet she looks back and thinks look at me there, and wishes she too could have some excitement back in her life...

I am not even going to comment on the cheating bit, as this disgusts me, as your poor gf is sitting at home with your child. Anyway I dont wanta go on about this. But look there will come a time when she gets back on her feet, starts looking hot again, and going out, and you wont like it, and maybe she will move on from you, knowing you were not there through the hard parts...it happened me I was there. I had an awful time after the birth of my daughter, but everything changed after about a year, and I was back to myself, and he was very sorry...

Anyway just my opinion....be careful what you wish for...

whiteblueman wrote: »

I am so bored it is unnatural.

Together 5 years and have a new daughter (4 months old). When we first met sex etc was exciting - doing it in cars, messing around in clubs, even went to adult club once (didn't swap though)

When we met, I had an issue with the no. of her ex lovers (almost 20) and now that I look at the situation I see a lovely person who has settled down for the family life who a limited interest in sex... i saw some of her old pics where she was hanging out of a few guys and looking vibrant. Now i see a prudish borefest and I am not happy.

I dont know what to do - it has lead to some cheating but ideally i would like her to partake in a 3some or something exciting to breathe some life back into our redundant sexlife...

I am not sure what to do?