Uncomfortable Situations

brummytom

I was going to call this 'uncomfortable positions' until my brain stopped me.


So I was playing a gig earlier, in a pub. Today was the Birmingham gay pride thingy, and so the pub was full of gay people.

Went to the toilet about half way through, this bloke came up to me... words were exchanged, and winks given (from him). As he got closer, mumbling, I wanted to scream. Luckily my phone started ringing, giving me an excuse to GTFO of there; but it was horrendously uncomfortable for me.


Typical, the first time I actually get chatted up/'hit on', it's by a bloke.




So, what 'uncomfortable situations' have you been in recently?

starbelgrade

Did you get a hard on?

Riamfada

so if your phone had not rang you would have just gone for it in a case of weird politeness?

In that case it would have become alot more uncomfortable for you.

brummytom

starbelgrade wrote: »

Did you get a hard on?

Yeah, I got his

Local-womanizer

Theres a joke in here about a banjo,I'am just too polite though

starbelgrade

The only real question is - if you decided to give him one, would you be courteous enough to give him a reach around?

ibarelycare

In the supermarket, and you meet someone you know in the first aislie. You have one of those awkward "how are you??? It's been so long!!!" conversations with them, then you move one....but you meet them again in EVERY SINGLE AISLE afterwards!!! Happened me today

4zn76tysfajdxp

I was out last night and the barwoman was wearing the same T shirt as me.

orourkeda

Grimes wrote: »

so if your phone had not rang you would have just gone for it in a case of weird politeness?

In that case it would have become alot more uncomfortable for you.

Good job the phone wasnt on vibrate. God knows where it would have ended up.

alwaysadub

Being in a long queue and you turn around and your ex(who you didn't exactly end on good terms with) is standing behind you.
It's happened to me twice and i just wanted the ground to swallow me up.
You couldn't leave cos it'd be pretty obvious, so you sorta say hello and hope to God you're not stuck there for twenty minutes.

Fart

You can't get into a more uncomfortable situation than being in a Village People cover band.

Local-womanizer

Fart wrote: »

You can't get into a more uncomfortable situation than being in a Village People cover band.

What about being in the Village people?

El Weirdo

brummytom wrote: »

So, what 'uncomfortable situations' have you been in recently

Meeting my Mum whilst I was on the way to score some dope.

/thread

brummytom

Local-womanizer wrote: »

What about being in the Village people?

What about being a groupie for the Village People?

seanbmc

Was in a shopping centre with the mother and we got into the elevator. Another woman was standing there. She was my dad's ex who caused my parents to divorce. Felt like the longest I have been in an elevator.

Most uncomfortable/awkward situation ever!

Corkfeen

My first time of being chatted up was similar. Old Man sat in the seat opposite to me on the train, subtly starts winking and then all of a sudden he starts looking at my crotch. T'was a highly uncomfortable two hours (Cue jokes).
My friends first and only time of his short lived band being aired was on a gay radio station too (Wonder what they did to get that)....:D

partyatmygaff

brummytom wrote: »

What about being a groupie for the Village People?

What about talking about the Village People with a name that with one letter removed becomes "bummytom"?


:pac:

polliepp

Bit of a situation with the neighbours over the past few days! Met my neighbours girlfiriend in the car park last week and she came over to me and started crying saying she was thought he was cheating on her.

Bear in mind I don't really know said boyfriend except for the polite hellos when we meet every so often. I certainly don't know this girl but have seen her once or twice in public displays of affection with boyfriend on stairs. I listen politely to cheating rant then she asks for my phone number. Go into slight panic mode at this request and blurt out a random number. She then decides to call me so I can have her number! I am there with my phone in my hand and no call coming through. Some random guy answers her call- very awkward phase!!! Make excuses and leave.

then start to pay attention to neighbour and have noticed over the past week - string of young men with backpacks leaving his appartment at early times in the morning (four over the last week!). Today said neighbour was knocking on my door so was hiding pretending not to be there.!

****!!!!

IvySlayer

Bummy BrummyTom, were you using a urinal? :eek:

Mike 1972

brummytom wrote: »

the first time I actually get chatted up/'hit on', it's by a bloke.

Tomorrow morning pop outside and take a look up

Youll hopefully see the sky and notice that it hasnt fallen in.

brummytom

Mike 1972 wrote: »

Tomorrow morning pop outside and take a look up

Youll hopefully see the sky and notice that it hasnt fallen in.

What if it's cloudy?

El Weirdo

brummytom wrote: »

What if it's cloudy?

You've been bummed.

ejmaztec

seanbmc wrote: »

Was in a shopping centre with the mother and we got into the elevator. Another woman was standing there. She was my dad's ex who caused my parents to divorce. Felt like the longest I have been in an elevator.

Most uncomfortable/awkward situation ever!

You should have gone into the lift instead , and you wouldn't have bumped into her.

El Weirdo

ejmaztec wrote: »

You should have gone into the lift instead , and you wouldn't have bumped into her.

Or just not have gone to America. Definitely wouldn't have bumped into her then.

mink_man

don't be silly wrap your willies in any case!

ddef

If you're comfortable with your sexuality, the least you could've done is give him a handjob.

mink_man

i was in this uncomfortable situation once when i was sitting on an uncomfortable chair!

DazMarz

"One time during sex I called Lois 'Frank'... Your move, Sherlock"

Saibh

mink_man wrote: »

don't be silly wrap your willies in any case!

mink_man wrote: »

i was in this uncomfortable situation once when i was sitting on an uncomfortable chair!

Hmmm....

Jako8

Shmuel Enough Ogre wrote: »

I was out last night and the barwoman was wearing the same T shirt as me.

That's what you get for wearing that Hooters t-shirt when you go out.

Agent Smith

An English person once asked me what time it was, and i replyed it was 19:16

holystungun9

Hey Brummy Tom. What would you have done here? I was in a jacuzzi on my own and a guy comes in chatting away. He asks me have I been in to the steam room, to which I replied that it's a bit too hot and not really my thing. Then he was explaining to me that I could go in with him. He said I should go in and lie face down, close my eyes and relax.:eek: In hindsight I should have been suspicious when I saw he was wearing a red leather thong with a zipper on the front. Oh well, I'll know for next time.

Eddie Ere

Agent Smith wrote: »

An English person once asked me what time it was, and i replyed it was 19:16

You think that's bad? Try asking MC Hammer.

Colilfc

Eddie Ere wrote: »

You think that's bad? Try asking MC Hammer.

This happened me before, Chico was there aswell though it was absolute pandimonium!!

KevinVonSpiel

In 1933, I flicked the end of my cigarette out of the window of my taxi... out of the corner of my eye, I could have sworn that I saw it, by some freak of nature, fly in through an open office window of the Reichstag, that window suddenly getting so bright that it lit up the street now vanishing behind me as the taxi turned the corner...

Awkward doesn't come close.

SoulTrader

ibarelycare wrote: »

In the supermarket, and you meet someone you know in the first aislie. You have one of those awkward "how are you??? It's been so long!!!" conversations with them, then you move one....but you meet them again in EVERY SINGLE AISLE afterwards!!! Happaned me today

[Obligatory Fr. Ted reference] Good luck with the book! /[Obligatory Fr. Ted reference]

Snowie

when you go to sit down beside some body you know who has to friends with her, and one of the girls is a ginger coloured like an umpla lumpa has so been raped bye a crayon and wearing leperd print clothing...

pablomakaveli

I remember a few years ago i was at a frineds birthday party in a pub and when i left i had some drunk old man following and shouting "hey sexy". That was fairly uncomfortable.

ddef

pablomakaveli wrote: »

I remember a few years ago i was at a frineds birthday party in a pub and when i left i had some drunk old man following and shouting "hey sexy". That was fairly uncomfortable.

Don't flatter yourself, I was shouting over at your friend.

moonpurple

in reply to OP, I was at the gay club and this guy clearly in the closet was in the toilet - to make him feel better i winked at him..it was uncomfortable though as he was dog ugly..I did not want him to jump on me:pac:

moonpurple

Agent Smith wrote: »

An English person once asked me what time it was, and i replyed it was 19:16

followed by an uncomfortable silence during the morning train commute

as the english person knows as much about the date 1916 (and cares as much)

as they do about borneo fertility superstitions:eek:

El Weirdo

moonpurple wrote: »

followed by an uncomfortable silence during the morning train commute

as the english person knows as much about the date 1916 (and cares as much)

as they do about borneo fertility superstitions:eek:

Morning commute? 19:16?:p

Although you are correct about the average English person not knowing about or giving two shites about the Easter Rising.

CreepingDeath

brummytom wrote: »

Today was the Birmingham gay pride thingy..

They were proud of being from Birmingham ?

Pauleta

I went for a pint last night and the boozer was near empty. There were a duo playing music to a near empty pub and nobody was paying attention to them. After every song there was no applause. The few people there just wanted to have a quiet pint and were at the bar with our backs turned to them. It was very uncomfortable

Tar.Aldarion

Hey brummy, same thing happened to me in a pub, the roisin dubh, when I was in college, apart from the person started touching themselves in the bathroom, rather vigorously :mad:

I was meeting a girl there for the first time and well, do you tell her why you come out of the bathroom all dishevelled or not

Collie D

Agent Smith wrote: »

An English person once asked me what time it was, and i replyed it was 19:16

Eddie Ere wrote: »

You think that's bad? Try asking MC Hammer.

Colilfc wrote: »

This happened me before, Chico was there aswell though it was absolute pandimonium!!

All brilliantly hilarious. A good chuckle was had, thank you

pablomakaveli

ddef wrote: »

Don't flatter yourself, I was shouting over at your friend.

Given i was on my own you must be talking about my imaginary friend.;)

Mr Benevolent

OP, do you like The Sound of Music? Fashion? Art? Have you been mistaken for gay before? If so you might be sending out the wrong signals... or you might be not as straight as you thought you were. Not a bad thing by any means, but worth considering.

Collie D

You still haven't answered whether you were at the urinals or in a cubicle.

stovelid

A few years back, I spotted one of my ex-girlfriends in a centrefold.

My blood ran cold, I'm telling you.

brummytom

Collie D wrote: »

You still haven't answered whether you were at the urinals or in a cubicle.

Sorry, didn't see that question. I was at neither, is the answer. There are 3 urinals and one cubicle in the toilet.

My uncle had warned me about the clientèle last night, I saw this bloke at the urinal so I gave him a wide berth and headed over to the cubicle, but his mate was in there (which is when he came over).

Which meant I didn't actually get to piss, and spent the next hour playing with my bladder ready to burst.

Tar.Aldarion wrote: »

Hey brummy, same thing happened to me in a pub, the roisin dubh, when I was in college, apart from the person started touching themselves in the bathroom, rather vigorously :mad:

I was meeting a girl there for the first time and well, do you tell her why you come out of the bathroom all dishevelled or not

Heh, I walked in on two people fúcking in a pub called Roisin Dubh/The Black Rose (a different one) once - weird