Advice needed

TeeHeeHee

my boyfriend(26) of 3 years and i(25) broke up a couple of weeks ago. it was after a few months of fighting and generally being at each other.
it ended badly and he broke up with me and we havent spoken since.
i was ok with it coz i think it was for the best.
the thing is though, i can still see him in my future, i can see us being together again. i can see me marrying him for god sake! believe me i don't want to. im not giving myself false hope. im annoyed at myself and wish i didnt have this in my head.
i suppose what i want to know is, is this normal? Bearing in mind that i just want to move on with my life and this is holding me back.
has anyone else been in this situation? has anyone ever gotten back together after a bad break up?
thanks

sbsquarepants

I think after 3 years together you're just used to thinking that way, it's a habbit basically, and like any habbit it will require effort to break. Something else (or someone else!) to take your mind off it would be my advice.

ash23

I had that in my head too for a while. I think when you've been with someone pretty much your whole adult life you can't imagine being without them. It takes time but you'll start seeing a future for yourself that he isn't part of.

Instead of imagining the romantic side of that future, like the big proposal or the wedding day, think about what actually being married to him would be like. The days of fighting over every little thing.

You'll stop thinking about him, it just takes time.

TeeHeeHee

thanks for the replies.
yeah, i hope in time it goes away. i find myself wishing that the time would go faster and that it was a month or 2 from now so the feelings were gone away. but i suppose thats normal.

carmel27

Sorry to hear that OP. Its hard after being together a long time. My last relationship ended last Nov. We were together 3.5 years, but realistically speaking, it should've finished after 2 and a half. We were at each others throats for the first half of the last year, and for the second half, we were hardly speaking at all. I had made several attempts to finish things, but he always managed to persuade me to stick it out and things would improve. They didnt.

It had come to a stage where we had nothing to say to each other, We didnt fight either, because I honestly couldnt have been bothered. I remember once in our last month together thinking "If he cheated on me, I wouldnt care" and I really meant it:eek:.

So, that was it. I finished it. And felt awful for a while. I live on my own, and even though he hadnt moved in, he was around alot, and I found it so strange that he wasnt anymore. And on my first few weekends off work after him, I was totally lost. I didnt know what to do with myself. He had been texting me, asking me to give things one more go, but I wasnt replying. But there was one day I was really tempted to reply, but in the end I didnt. Its now 7months later, Im still single, and I know I made the right decision. I keep myself busy and do loads of stuff with my friends.

You cant be with someone for the sake of it. There has to be some sort of spark between you, and he has to make you happy. Obviously, everyone has ups and downs, but when youre having constant downs, its time to get out. You cant keep plodding along with somebody, if your miserable.

Thats my 2 cents worth! Sorry for the rant! Best of Luck.:)