Role models? LBGT

Freiheit

Is there anyone Lesbian,Gay,Bisexual or Transgender who has inspired you? Or even an event? such as the Stonewall riots or the possible election of David Norris to the Aras?...

Lynn Conway, a male to female Transsexual's website was initially a source of inspiration to me at a time when there was no similar resources available.
http://ai.eecs.umich.edu/people/conway/TSsuccesses/TSgallery1.html
Julia Serano author of Whipping Girl, a superb book and a great mind
http://www.juliaserano

One particular Irish girl who I've met face to face is a source of inspiration for the effort and determination she combusted to be herself, not a celebrity just an outstanding individual without glitz or frills.

An outstanding gay musican whose music inspires me is the late and very great Freddy Mercury.

I also like Elvis:cool:

baby and crumble

I suppose this is probably a bit of a cliche, but I have to say Ellen deGeneres inspires me, and has been a bit of a role model for me. I remember seeing her coming out episode when I was younger and it got me thinking... Then when I was a bit older I realised that she was the kind of person I wanted to be- style-wise, personality-wise and just... vibe-wise, if that makes sense? The media have put her through a lot, and she just keep coming back, but better.

Plus the fact that she looks AMAZING at 50+, and that she snagged herself a super hot babe only adds to the cool factor.

keepkeyyellow

Loads of people

David Norris
Panti
Ellen

Well I guess maybe 3,

xxlily87xx

zoegh wrote: »

I suppose this is probably a bit of a cliche, but I have to say Ellen deGeneres inspires me, and has been a bit of a role model for me. I remember seeing her coming out episode when I was younger and it got me thinking... Then when I was a bit older I realised that she was the kind of person I wanted to be- style-wise, personality-wise and just... vibe-wise, if that makes sense? The media have put her through a lot, and she just keep coming back, but better.

Plus the fact that she looks AMAZING at 50+, and that she snagged herself a super hot babe only adds to the cool factor.

i agree 100% with ya there, i found ellen as a great role model and inspiration for when i was coming out

shay_562

Not sure if I'd describe him as a 'role model', but I have almost endless admiration for Stephen Fry. Ian McKellan is also a bit of a ledge.

rainbow kirby

Gareth Thomas - gay Welsh rugby player
Ireen Wust - Dutch lesbian speed skater and multiple Olympic medallist
Sheryl Swoopes - one of the first female basketball players to come out
Michelle Dumaresq - MtF professional MTB rider

Goodshape

zoegh wrote: »

Plus the fact that she looks AMAZING at 50+

50+? Wow! Really wouldn't have thought that.

shay_562 wrote: »

Not sure if I'd describe him as a 'role model', but I have almost endless admiration for Stephen Fry. Ian McKellan is also a bit of a ledge.

Yeah, I'd agree with those. To be honest, and absolutely no disrespect to those that are shouting loud and flying the flag or whatever, the ones I admire more are those who don't let their sexuality overrun their life or public image.

Those people like Fry, McKellan and Ellen who are gay -- and aren't afraid to talk, shout, joke (some of Fry's comments on QI are golden) and discuss it if necessary -- but have managed to become so much more that it's far from the first thing to come to mind when you think of them.

When there's places in the world that are handing out 14 year's of hard labour for being in love with the "wrong" type of person, it's a relief to know there's many more places where it's increasingly just not an issue at all.

rainbow kirby

shay_562 wrote: »

Not sure if I'd describe him as a 'role model', but I have almost endless admiration for Stephen Fry. Ian McKellan is also a bit of a ledge.

Also, on a similar note to that, James Randi.

Freiheit

I agree Goodshape,there's kind of a paradox, It's only by people 'coming out' in public that attitudes, norms and even laws can change, yet really it shouldn't matter, if there wasn't prejudice and disadvantage it wouldn't. I agree that sexuality or gender are only a part of who we are, we are all far more besides and hopefuly the 'far more besides' can be what we are seen for.

Goodshape

Yeah. As I say, there shouldn't be anything stopping anyone from shouting loud when they see an injustice. And none of the people I mentioned make any secret of their sexuality. But the fact they can get on with "just being" whatever it is they want to be gives me hope when I need it.

Freiheit

Yeah and not become single issue people....

shay_562

Yeah, I'd agree with those. To be honest, and absolutely no disrespect to those that are shouting loud and flying the flag or whatever, the ones I admire more are those who don't let their sexuality overrun their life or public image.

Those people like Fry, McKellan and Ellen who are gay -- and aren't afraid to talk, shout, joke (some of Fry's comments on QI are golden) and discuss it if necessary -- but have managed to become so much more that it's far from the first thing to come to mind when you think of them.

Exactly - McKellen publicly came out purely to protest Section 28, so he's clearly willing to stand up for what's right when it's needed, but the number of people who look at him and think "Famous Homosexual" pales in comparison to the number who think "GANDALF!", and there's something really cool about that. That you can be an activist and proud and stand up for yourself without being nothing more than gay.

In the same vein of "famous gay people who are role models in other ways", I aspire to be like Simon Amstell in just about every conceivable way.

L1011

Scott Mills. One of the most listened to radio presenters in the UK, gay, never ends up making a massive deal of it, suspect most of his audience don't know even though he hides nothing. Very good example of the "ordinary gay".

spurious

She wasn't anyone famous, but a teacher of mine in secondary school was very much a role model, for the career I eventually went into myself and for 'the gay thing'.

Nobody ever asked her, but those of us who needed to know knew and she knew we did.

esposito

Donal Og Cusack- Top Cork Hurler. Watching him on the Late Late inspired me to come out at 24.

Links234

Anyone who has the courage to go through transition is a role model to me because I've got all that ahead of me and it is extremely daunting and scary. I often doubt if I will have the courage to do what I know needs to be done, it's a frightening journey, and the thoughts of losing friends along the way fills me with sadness as well, there's so much uncertainty at this point. So anyone who strives for their goals and makes that journey is nothing less than a hero and an inspiration to me.

But to be more specific, it was reading about women like Marissa Martinez and Kimberly Reed who have been incredibly big inspirations to me by helping me understand myself. Marissa especially was a big influence, and I even got in contact with her over Myspace to tell her what an inspiration she's been and she gave me some words of encouragement which made me really happy and gave me a lot of confidence.

To understand why they're role models for me I have to tell you a little about myself. Some transgender children just know who they are and what they are, I've seen some documentaries on them and they're so sure of themselves, these wonderful little girls who were sadly born with the wrong bodies. It was never as clear cut for me and I was rarely sure of myself until much later. Growing up, I wasn't the kid who played with barbie dolls all the time and insisted I was a girl, I did have some typically girlish interests, but they were few. I always wanted to let me hair grow long since I can remember, but my parents didn't let me. I was a nerd, I grew up on Star Trek and computer games. I went to an all boys primary school and all I really knew was that I was different, I didn't share any of the interests of the boys or really relate to them at all. So I had felt pretty isolated, but didn't understand why, I was shy and very sensitive which made me a target for bullies because I didn't fight back and would cry a lot. Pretty traumatic times.

It was in my teen years that I came a lot closer to understanding myself. I was pretty disgusted with my own body at that point, getting hair everywhere wasn't fun and when my dad showed me how to shave for the first time and got me some disposable razors, I would then shave my legs in the bathroom late at night. It was also in my teenage years when I started having dreams where I was a girl, so subconciously my self image was female. I knew at that point what I wanted to be, I had to be this person I felt like on the inside. But I also got some very, very bad advice from someone that really set me back by years. I knew someone who was a medical student, and I quizzed them about how one would get a sex change and the question of sexual orientation came up. Well, I find girls sexually attractive, I've always dated girls and I find the female form just incredible. But I was told that with hormone treatment, I'd start finding men attractive. That horrified me to no end. I just do not find men in any way attractive, so it seemed like a huge sacrifice to me, in order to be a girl I'd have to give up being with girls. I protested, but I was insistently told that hormones would have this effect on me.

I really started to doubt myself, I loved having relationships with other girls and although sex was extremely problematic, sexual identity is every bit as strong as gender identity, and I couldn't give that up. Who here would give up their sexual identity? Nobody I think, it's a part of who you are, and so I didn't want to give up a part of who I was. That really set a lot of doubts in mind, and because I wasn't very girly in my interests growing up, I just didn't know if I was really transgender any longer. So I tried to supress my gender identity issues, cut my hair short, got rid of all my makeup and nail polish and tried acting less feminine. I can't tell you how much of a disaster that was, I descended into depression more and more, lost all my confidence and a lot of self hatred built up. What's worse is that it had a huge impact on my love life as well, I'm sure girls picked up that I was feeling awkward and uncomfortable with myself and that I wasn't very confident at all, and any relationship from that point onwards was strained at best. I don't think you can expect anyone to love you if you don't love yourself and you're hiding who you are. The best relationships I've ever had were where I was just being myself, and a lot of girls really loved how I looked as well, they were even jealous of my long pretty dyed hair, which filled me with a lot of confidence.

Anyway, I got fed up of being constantly depressed and just stopped supressing my feelings before it killed me, and set out to really understand myself. I started reading and researching as much as I could on transsexuality, transition, gender identity disorder and reading what other women felt like. I found out that gender identity and sexual identity are two completely separate things and that I had been given some really, really bad advice. In fact, it was downright retarded what was told, if hormones effected who you find attractive then surely there'd be no gay men or lesbian women because of their hormones determining who they were attracted to. I felt foolish and angry that I had believed such nonsense. I find out just how many transgender women are in relationships with other women, and it was surprising, there were an awful lot of them. But I still had a long way to go to rediscovering myself, and that's where people like Marissa came in and inspired me.

A big hang up for me was my interests, and it seems like a small thing, but I wasn't sure if I could reconcile them with being transgender. I suppose I had the idea that if someone was transgender that they'll just always know, and as a kid they'll want to be a girl, or want to be a boy. And that wasn't me, so I just wasn't sure. As well as that, my biggest fears were that in transition I would have to try to be someone I wasn't, and I didn't like that idea. So that's why Marissa Martinez was such a role model for me because she's this kinda scary metalhead and isn't at all what I expected a transgender woman to be, and wasn't really girly growing up either. Kimberly Reed's story showed me just how subtle gender identity issues can be, that you don't have to be typically girly, or that there doesn't have to be loads of tell-tale signs in your childhood either. It was thankfully an eye opening experience that gave me the confidence just to be myself.

And that's what transition is, just being yourself. I don't have to be someone who's gonna be tottering around in high heels and short skirts, I'm just going to be my own woman, the same nerdy Star Trek obsessed person I always was who listens to Rammstein and bounces around in converse wearing a hoodie that's far too big for her, but with the added bonus of actually being comfortable with my own body. It's always been a big question hanging over my head, who do I want to be? And the answer is, I just want to be me. So thank god for role models like Marissa helping me answer that question. Here's a good article where she talks about her life and transition a bit: http://xpress.sfsu.edu/archives/news/014063.html

Holy crap I'm sorry for the life story everyone!

Freiheit

Thanks for sharing, thats what this forum is for! Sharing and support! I'll read it in more detail when my poor battered eyes recover, very , very sore at mo. and need rest!:)

2 hours later..eyes slightly better, I agree with what your saying Links, a very mature attitude, transition shiouldn't be about changing whio you are, rather about letting who you are out!....There's no right or wrong way to be a man or a woman, although much of society conditions us to believe that.....

I tried suppression for years and no it just doesn't work...can only lead to depression and anxiety....

I can visualise a great future ahead for you!

Links234

Thank you Freiheit. I'm not sure I can visualise my future all that well, but I can tell you that my life has improved so much since I stopped supressing my feelings so I know I'm on the right path.

Freiheit

I agree about suppressing feelings, I haven't transitioned yet but I'm a lot happier now that I'm open about who I am and how I feel. Suppression is what causes the conflict.

I know your on the right track too.

Aard

@Esposito:
Well done. I'm glad to hear that Dónal Óg's public coming out has helped somebody. Whatever people say about his motives, or just about him in general, it's great to know that there is a knock-on effect.

Conceited Cat

For me it would have to be Michael Stipe. I've always loved REM for years before I knew he (or I) was not 'straight'. I can relate to him as he does not label himself as 'gay' or 'bi' or 'straight' as he feels they do not describe how he feels. When pushed to define his sexuality in an interview he said he was 'queer' which as he put it "describes something that’s more inclusive of the grey areas."

Killer_banana

I don't really have any role-models when it comes to my sexuality (as in bisexual ones, there's a few gay people I admire who've already been mentioned).

I quite admired Drew Barrymore until I found out she calls herself a 'non-practising' bisexual. Might as well be back in the closet if that's the case. Just sends out the message that you can choose who you love which really pisses me off since that's the complete opposite of what is wanted.

I quite like the character Thirteen from House and how her bisexuality is handled (well to an extent, there's one or two dodgy moments) but she's not real so I guess that doesn't count...

DubArk

When I was younger there lived a man from my local town (Ireland) who was openly Gay. Not only openly Gay but he lived with his partner. My parents and many others only ever spoke of them with great fondness and never any negative words were heard.

This to me was such a powerful influence on my life and many others’ around me. Neither of them were famous or in your face, they just got on with what they needed to do and lived life to its full.

What wonderful Role models….

He died last week and he was the grand age of 102 years old. He leaves his partner of 40 yrs behind. May he rest in peace…

DarkBlue_18

My role models would be Rufus Wainwright and Donal óg. Rufus Wainwright would be the most influencial because of both his lyrical and musical ability and the battles throughout his life that he has overcome. He truely inspires me to be myself and he also gave me, through his lyrics, the urge to come out to my family and I could never thank him enough for how that worked out . Donal óg for the simple reason that he came out into what could be the most homophobic institution in our country aside from the Church. Very brave man in my opinion and has inspired many young athletes to come out I am sure.

Aikon2009

As previously mentioned Scott Mills and definitely Donal Og Cusack dont think I would be out only for him!

KnifeWRENCH

Killer_banana wrote: »

I don't really have any role-models when it comes to my sexuality (as in bisexual ones, there's a few gay people I admire who've already been mentioned).

I quite admired Drew Barrymore until I found out she calls herself a 'non-practising' bisexual. Might as well be back in the closet if that's the case. Just sends out the message that you can choose who you love which really pisses me off since that's the complete opposite of what is wanted.

In terms of bisexual people, Billie Joe Armstrong is quite admirable. He's happily married with kids but has never hidden or denied his sexuality.

Also, I really admire Anna Paquin who came out as bi recently while promoting a campaign fighting for LGBT rights. I always liked her as an actress anyway (True Blood! ) and this was another reason to admire her.

As for those already mentioned, I really admire Stephen Fry, Ian McKellen and Ellen deGeneres, and it has nothing to do with their sexuality but due to the fact that they're all incredibly talented people in their respective fields and all seem like celebrities you'd love to hang out and have a chat with.

Links234

I forgot to mention someone else I admire a lot

Lana Wachowski

She wrote and directed The Matrix trilogy with her brother Andy. She's a great example of a transgender woman who is very talented and successful.



She used to look like this

Goodshape

Someone on Twitter just posted a link to this. Heh

Freiheit

Lana is cool, very much reflects my style..........

AnBealBocht

spurious wrote: »

She wasn't anyone famous, but a teacher of mine in secondary school was very much a role model, for the career I eventually went into myself and for 'the gay thing'.

Nobody ever asked her, but those of us who needed to know knew and she knew we did.

Such people are the real heros: The teacher, the shopkeeper, the creamery manager, the doctor, the lawyer, etc., who are quietly gay & out and who go about their lives fighting the struggles we are all presented with.
There will be more of them as role-models for our younger generation & I am grateful that there were such persons in the past, though the times demanded that they speak in muffled tones.

MicraBoy

Colm O'Gorman - although not neccesarily agreeing with his politics, for his survival of sex abuse, succesful gay parenting, human rights campaigning etc.

Gareth Thomas - gay in rugby :cool: - although there was a guy who played in AIB league in Ireland who came out years before this. Remember reading an article about him in the paper that was inspiring.

And you can't leave out The Champ. David Norris, who did so much for equal rights in Ireland back in the day when it wasn't cool.

Donnaghm

Colm O'Gorman, Ian Mc, even Gramham Norton. Anyone really who isn't a drug taking bigamist.

eaglach

Neil Patrick Harris. Many people never realised he was even gay...