when to contact ex

LegacyUser

Hi everyone, i broke up with my ex back in february and decided not to contact her after we broke up. im not sure if this was right, my thinking was that it would be easier for her to move on or get over me or something like that. I felt awful about that and still do, i never wanted to hurt her. recently iv been thinking about her a lot but i still dont know if I should text to say hello or whatever. any ideas, it is a good idea or bad idea.

LegacyUser

really depends on who broke up with who and how bad the situation was. sometimes its for the best to let sleeping dogs lie if you get me.. its often easier for everyone and can often confuse the other person if you were the one who broke up with her.
If you still have feelings for the girl then take a chance

carmel27

Oooooohhhh, I dont know if you should. In an ideal world, it'd be great if we could all remain friends with our ex's, but usually, from my experience anyway, it doesnt really work.

You broke up with her, and you obviously had your reasons, but why do you feel the need to text her now? You say you never meant to hurt her, but because you said it, Id guess you ended up doing just that, despite not wanting to. Are you still interested in her? If so, and you ended up giving it another shot, do you think things would be different? If not, Id leave well enough alone.

And you also need to take her feelings into consideration. She may have moved on and might not want to hear from you. She was hurt by you, so again, she might not want to hear from you. And finally, if she has not moved on, she could still have feelings for you, and might think you feel the same if you get back in contact.

AND definitely Dont contact her if its to make yourself feel better about hurting her.

PK2008

No bit soon I reckon, you'll just be back to square one (or she will). Id just wait until your paths crossed naturally.

Lucyx

Do her a big huge favour and leave her be.

I know from experience that theres nothing worse than an ex breezing in and out of your life willy nilly. Its selfish and immature.

You made your bed. You broke up with her. Now leave it.

G-Money

Probably a bad idea to be honest. If you ended it then I think you should leave it and let her get in touch. If she doesn't then unfortunately that's just the way things go.

Sometimes when relationships end, one of the people involved (often the one who ended it) can feel lonely or whatever and feel like getting back in touch with the other person. This can be unfair to the person who was dumped as old feelings can be dragged up and it can really mess with their head.

To be blunt, unless you genuinely want to get back together with her and think it will work this time, leave her alone and don't contact her. Contacting her for any other reason could be construed as you being selfish and just getting in touch as you're bored/lonely. I'm not saying you are contacting her for disingenuous and selfish reasons, but if you just get in touch to "say hello" etc she could very well wonder what you're playing at.

I'd say leave it OP. No point dragging up the past. If you want to get back together and if it's for the right reasons, then I'd say you should probably contact her. But other than that, you should leave it and let her get on with her life and if she wants to get in touch she will.

All the best.

quibbles

Lucyx wrote: »

Do her a big huge favour and leave her be.

I know from experience that theres nothing worse than an ex breezing in and out of your life willy nilly. Its selfish and immature.

You made your bed. You broke up with her. Now leave it.

What she said.

steddyeddy

Lucyx wrote: »

Do her a big huge favour and leave her be.

I know from experience that theres nothing worse than an ex breezing in and out of your life willy nilly. Its selfish and immature.

You made your bed. You broke up with her. Now leave it.

Thats true you should leave her to it, your certainly not getting in touch for her benifit just yours, its selfish for you to get back in touch just because you miss her.

krudler

Never, no good comes from contacting exes, it drags up old feelings, makes you guilty and doubt your actions, and opens old wounds. Me and my ex? havent spoken,texted or seen each other since the night she broke up with me over 4 years ago. I'm kinda proud of that

amybabes

what do u want to achieve from contacting her?
is it to ease your guilt about how you broke up with her? do you think you may have done the wrong thing breaking up with her, do you truly want to be friends with her. ???

Can honestly say, my ex ignoring my texts and calls and attempts to meet up after he broke up with me was the kindest thing he could have done for me...... it was hard as hell at the start, and i was a pathetic mess for at least a month and hurt so much that i was completely cut out, but replying to me would have given me false hope and i'd have had a much slower moving on period.

We have just started to make contact after 4 full years on facebook etc. He has apologised. Don't see us being friends or anything but its nice to be at a stage where we can ask how the other one is, whats new etc.

Really depends on whether she's been trying to contact you......have you ignored her texts or calls. If she hasnt been trying then i'd advise to just leave it.

dublingal80

what do you think a text saying hello is going to do?

just leave her be. if you were to see her on a night out, yeah say hi or whatever but dont start the texting. that will just really confuse everything

MissyN

krudler wrote: »

Me and my ex? havent spoken,texted or seen each other since the night she broke up with me over 4 years ago. I'm kinda proud of that

WOW !!! thats brilliant, you should be proud. wish I could say the same.

do the right thing OP. I think we all know what that is.