The Alzheimers programme

poppyvalley

What did any of you who saw Primetime last night think of the girl who left her mother at A&E, cos she did not want to give up everything in her life to look after her.I know it worked out all right in the short term. I never had this choice to make thankfully. I just dont know , its a terrible dillemna and the poor mother was only 56.

Blush_01

I didn't get to see the show, but I'm hoping they repeat it soon.

Alzheimers is so rough I guess you won't know how you'd deal with it until you have to. It's a horrid illness.

DevilsBreath

Didn't see it but i know from my grandfather having it that it's one of the worst things to try deal with. I minded him for 3 months after i finshed my leaving cert and every morning he tought i was his younger brother or i was a stranger. broke my heart to see him link that after him always being there when i needed help.

Novella

My grandad has Alzheimer's. We were always like two peas in a pod, if I rang him, he instantly knew my voice on the phone. Now he sometimes has absolutely no idea who I am. It is heart breaking. Honestly, sometimes it takes every bit of strength I have not to cry when he looks at me really distantly. It's the confusion in his eyes, it cuts right through me.

I would never in a million years leave my grandad with someone else to be taken care of. Even if he doesn't have a clue why I visit him every Sunday, I can carry enough memories around with me for the two of us.

It is such a hard thing to deal with, being forgotten. I just remind myself what he was like before. He was never the type to leave when the going got tough, and neither am I.

CaliforniaDream

I didn't get to see the program but I'd love to.

My mother has Alzheimer's. She got it extremely young. She was only in her late 40's/early 50's. It is probably one of the worst diseases. I've had to watch my mother change completely. People don't realise that it's not just a disease that makes you forget. People's personalities change so much and it affects them physically too.
I hate the fact that I'll never get to have a conversation with her when I'm an adult. It's probably the time you grow to know your parents as people and respect them. My youngest brother never had the chance to know her either. He was really young when she was diagnosed and she progresses quickly.

My mum hasn't recognised me in about a year. It's a horrible feeling and it never gets easier. I feel so bad for her as well because she's in full-time care now. Nearly every other patient in there is quite old. Most of them are 60+.

My mother has been given about a year to live now. She has been having seizures recently and the doctors think they'll cause her brain to shut off completely. I honestly can't say whether this is a good thing or not. It might sound harsh but my mother doesn't have any sort of life now. She cannot function on her own. She can't even walk on her own anymore. On the other hand, she's my mother and I want her to be around as long as possible.

Everyone has a hardship and no illness is easy. But I hope that most people never experience Alzheimer's. It's called the 'carer's disease' for a good reason.

Most days I'm ok with it. I try not to let it get me down. I'll always remember the person my mother was and I hope I have a fraction of her personality. Right now, I feel sorriest for my Dad. He's left without a wife so young, and there's only one of my siblings left in the house. I hate to thing of the time when he'll be alone and I pray he'll meet someone. He's too young to spend the rest of his life without love.

cena

my dad has it. he's only 59. but he is in a home now.

rebel girl 15

I saw it, some of the things that the carers had to go through to get basic requirement was ridiculous. Its probably one of the hardest diseases in the world to cope with and manage, I've heard it called the long goodbye, and for people who get it quite young, it is devastating.

But to see the retired bishop in the UK system, his doctor picked up on a off the cuff remark about not being able to remember peoples names, and he had a scan and diagnosis within 48 hours, plus a care plan that has helped him slow the progress of the disease. I forget the statistic for the number of Irish patients without a care plan, but I do remember it being quite high. And that poor woman that is alone caring for her husband, three hours a day, six days a week she was getting help. The presenter had to help her get her husband out of the car at one stage, and the husband actually fell. If he got a bad fall, she would end up on the ground with him.

I felt sorry for that poor girl who had to leave her mother at the A&E - she just couldn't be coming up and down from Kerry to Longford the whole time, what a hard decision to make and I have to applaud her courage, its an extremely hard decision to make and actually do, but it was for her mothers own good. We had a similar situation within the family, very very hard to do.

But going back to the bishop, imagine if we had the system like that in Ireland, and how many people's lives it could help make better and more bearable, slowing down the process

Piste

Alzheimer's is such a horrible, horrible disease. I'd be devastated if either of my parents got it. My mum has it drilled into my sister, my dad and I that if she ever goes senile/get's dementia/Alzheimer's that we're to give her a pill and let her die peacefully and with some sense of herself (no matter how much we protest that we don't want to get convicted of murder :pac:). I'll probably want the same when I'm older too. The thought of early-onset Alzheimer's is pretty terrifying too.

Dancor

I seen the show and it was heart breaking. I told my GF that if she is my wife in the future and I come down with the disease just put a bag over my head and leave me be.

@ OP I dont think that girl left her mother in A+E because she did not want to give up everything. It was to force the HSE to help them. No body should have to give up their lives, some sacrifices will need to be made, but the lack of support is terrible.

miss5

I didn't see it but one of my neighbours has Alzheimers and it's a really horrific disease.
She is in her seventies but the change is unbelievable since she became ill. I can't
imagine what's it's like to forget close family members, It's very traumuatising and
the carers have an incredibly difficult job. They are underpaid and overworked in turn
this is bound to effect patient care. I know some carers who are fantastic. Don't
know how they do it.

rebel girl 15

miss5 wrote: »

I didn't see it but one of my neighbours has Alzheimers and it's a really horrific disease. She is in her seventies but the change is unbelievable since she became ill. I can't imagine what's it's like to forget close family members, It's very traumuatising and the carers have an incredibly difficult job. They are underpaid and overworked in turn this is bound to effect patient care. I know some carers who are fantastic. Don't know how they do it.

+1 on that and also give huge credit to the home help as well. My late grandfather had a lovely woman who was coming in for a couple of hours 3 times a week, but she became much more than just home help, she became a great friend of his and a friend of ours as well.

takola

There's a link to the episode here that you can watch on rte player for anyone who wants to see it. I just watched it after seeing this thread. It's heartbreaking.

I feel sorry for that poor girl. Having to go to such harsh lengths to get someone to acknowledge that her mother was sick and needed help is appalling. I can completely understand her decision to do so and I feel for her because I imagine she will end up feeling guilty for a very long time even though what she did was necessary. It's a very very hard thing to do.

Daisies

It's a horrible, heart-wrenching disease. My Nan passed away last week after suffering from Alzheimer's for 10+ years. She had been in a home for 6 years as we just could not look after her. For the last 3 years or so we were just basically waiting for her to die. She had no quality of life, was barely conscious most of the time, didn't know who anyone was and was in and out of hospital constantly.
Our priest was so good and down to earth about everything. When I went down with my Dad to tell him about her passing, he said "I hope you dont mind me saying but Kathleen left us a long time ago" and it's true. That wasn't the person we all knew.
He then had a lovely sermon about a thief who can "steal sight to take vision , steal hearing to take sound but he took the worst thing possible from Kathleen, he took her memories. He took her time spent with people she loved as she could no longer recall those happy moments."

To everyone who has a person close to them suffering from this horrible disease, my heart goes out to you.

Piste

It's so much worse to see somebody's personality deteriorate over years before they die. It's a lot easier if they die after a brief illness, there's not the shock of a sudden death, but neither do you feel like they've really died a long time before their body has died.

Sephiroth_dude

My gran had it,horrible horrible disease,she was diganosed with it in 1988 and died in 2005,my mom was her carer and found it very hard to get anything,they would'nt even give her carers allowance even though she was her full time carer and looking after her,hope they find a cure for it someday.

Walls

I have someone who has it, and the progress of the disease is just terrible. This is so horrible it is impossible to convey to someone who is unaware of it. I'm not able to watch that episode.

I will say that my sister being a nurse has been invaluable, but it does bring home the importance of training. She can note temperature, food and oxygen intake, and take care of Mum's physical needs, in a manner that ads to Mum's physical comfort. The rest of us are trying to keep up with the very fast deterioration of Mum's personality and health, so how someone copes with the loss of someone they know and love by themselves I don't know.

Wouldn't wish it on anyone.

Joeface

same as that , My Dad has it . Three years since we found out.Shadow of the man is all that's left. I have 2 sisters who are nurses and when they are home what they can do is amazing (both work with the elderly in the USA). It has come to the stage where he Knows he knows me from somewhere but not who I am. One brother still lives at home ,Looking after/helping out and the toll it has taken in massive.All the other family members do the bit then to help out. even with all of us(big family 10), not much you can do.
Its strange talking to him cause you want to talk as would have before but you can see he just doesn't know and the frustration that comes out in him makes it worse. Also the further he progress the more and more reclusive he becomes and that again makes things harder.

Couldn't wish this on anyone for anything.

xgrax

My dad has been recently diagnosed however pre diagnosis he had instigated a divorce.
Has anyone ever been through this situation before? Can proceeding still go ahead or will all be at a stand still?Both divorce solicitors don't seem to know what to do next. Any response would be greatly appreciated.

baby and crumble

xgrax wrote: »

My dad has been recently diagnosed however pre diagnosis he had instigated a divorce.
Has anyone ever been through this situation before? Can proceeding still go ahead or will all be at a stand still?Both divorce solicitors don't seem to know what to do next. Any response would be greatly appreciated.

If I were you I'd contact the Alzheimers Society. There is a new Capacity Bill in the final stages of the Dail which will impact on issues like this for your Dad. Don't rely on solicitors for this stuff.

xgrax

Thanks, I will get onto them. I hadn't thought about them being able to help me on this aspect of his life.

xgrax

baby and crumble wrote: »

If I were you I'd contact the Alzheimers Society. There is a new Capacity Bill in the final stages of the Dail which will impact on issues like this for your Dad. Don't rely on solicitors for this stuff.

Thanks I will contact them. I never thought they would be able to assist me with this aspect of his life.

Novella

I posted in this thread in 2010 about my grandad having Alzheimer's. He has since passed away and my dad was diagnosed last year at the age of 51. Alzheimer's is a horrible disease.

My dad doesn't recognise my mam anymore (his wife) but she wouldn't dream of leaving him. I said it to her once. I asked her would she want to leave. I felt sad for her, that she is in her early 50's and a carer to her husband who thinks she's his mother.

She said, "When I married him, I told him for better or for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health. We've had our better and our richer. We've had our health. I'm just keeping the other half of my promise now."

xgrax

I am truly sorry to hear about you granddad and dad novella.

My parents have been separated for 8 years now and divorce proceeding were put in place by my dad prior to his diagnosis. It was not my mothers choice to leave him nor is she walking out on him as a result of his illness. The only issue here is they are both stuck in legal limbo as a result of this terrible illness.

m'lady

My nanny had premature Alzheimer's and sadly went missing for 1 month and was found (dead) on St. Stephens's day 20 years ago. It was an extremely hard time for my own mother. It's an awful disease that effects the whole family.
RIP Nanny N. Xxx